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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Rub it all you want...it's already hard. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Rub it all you want...it's already hard.  (Read 6241 times)
Menard
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« on: April 12, 2008, 11:37:25 PM »

Aladdin had one, and he rubbed his.


 Buggedout (A magic lamp; what the hell did you think I meant?)  TongueOut


The magical item popularized by the Arabian Nights stories; how many of us have, at some point in our lives, wondered about what we might wish for if we had a magic lamp?

Often, though, a magic lamp turns out to be a double edged sword. The wish itself, though granted, may bring unforeseen consequences.


I propose sort of a game.

One of you rub your's (the lamp!!!) and make a wish.

Then, another comes along and makes the wish go wrong.


Wishful thinking, huh? TeddyR
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RCMerchant
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« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2008, 12:11:24 AM »

 My baloney has a first name...it's don't mess with my Genie,Man!
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2008, 02:26:56 PM »

I wish for the name of the publicly-traded stock which will show the largest percentage gain in stock price within the next five years.
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Derf
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« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2008, 02:56:33 PM »

I wish for the name of the publicly-traded stock which will show the largest percentage gain in stock price within the next five years.

Easy enough; check this space in four years, 364 days, and I'll tell you.  TeddyR

*Rubs lamp*

I wish to own a patent for a technology that would force Microsoft to pay me $10,000,000 to lease.
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Menard
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« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2008, 06:38:57 PM »

I wish to own a patent for a technology that would force Microsoft to pay me $10,000,000 to lease.

Unfortunately, the new technology becomes so widespread that, being in the hands of Microsoft, it violates the antitrust laws and Microsoft is forced to break up the division controlling that technology.

Unknown to you, Microsoft had a provision written into the lease that declares it a lease to own.

Being that the antitrust violations, however, occurred under your ownership, you have accrued $11,000,000 in fines while Microsoft has transferred ownership of the technology to an unknown entity on a privately owned island outside of jurisdiction. You read this last part off of a newspaper you were using to stuff in your jacket after having all of your property confiscated by the government.


My baloney has a first name...it's don't mess with my Genie,Man!

I always knew you were full of boloney. TongueOut

*rubs it*

(the lamp!!!)

Okay, wiseass, let's just say that mine involves Pam Grier, and she's dressed as Coffy.


Now ruin that for me. Twirling
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Andrew
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« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2008, 08:39:45 PM »

Okay, wiseass, let's just say that mine involves Pam Grier, and she's dressed as Coffy.


Now ruin that for me. Twirling

She's 86 years old.
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Andrew Borntreger
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« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2008, 08:46:37 PM »

Andrew beat me to it, but I worked so hard on this that I'll post it anyway.


*rubs it*

(the lamp!!!)

Okay, wiseass, let's just say that mine involves Pam Grier, and she's dressed as Coffy.


Now ruin that for me. Twirling

The police show up at your door, serving you with a restraining order. It seems that Pam Grier's lawyer read the board and that the "wish" you posted was enough to have you labelled as a cyber stalker. When you tried to protest, you were arrested. At the trial, Pam Grier, dressed as Coffy, arrives with a man who calls himself RCMerchant. The grin on his face is both manic and seemingly permanent. As the judge declares your sentence, Coffy puts her arm around RCMerchant and you can clearly read her lips: "You can't have none of this, sucka." You are jailed and spend the rest of your life as a registered sex offender.

*Rubs Lamp*

I wish I had the self discipline to write a best-selling novel.
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"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."
Menard
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« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2008, 09:05:30 PM »

She's 86 years old.

Pam would look good at any age; even Trekgeezer's age. TeddyR


I wish I had the self discipline to write a best-selling novel.

Turns out that the genie understood it as you need to to be disciplined while writing a novel.

You find it difficult to explain to the lady he sent, dressed in leather and high heels and carrying a whip, that you can't write with your hands tied.

Going through all the events that pass from here, well, wouldn't be very appropriate. Let's just say that the indecent exposure charge from you running down the street trying to get away from her, plus additional assault charges from...uh...poking people along your way, has made it difficult for you to write due to the lack of light in solitary; though, I think Bubba likes you.


*Rubs Lamp*

I wish for something to be at least a good 12. TeddyR

You decide what it is, and ruin it for me.
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Allhallowsday
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2008, 09:12:46 PM »

Okay, wiseass, let's just say that mine involves Pam Grier, and she's dressed as Coffy.


Now ruin that for me. Twirling

She's 86 years old.
PAM GRIER will be 59 years old on May 26...  TeddyR
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LilCerberus
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« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2008, 09:20:40 PM »

For me, it would probably be like that episode of The Weird Al Show in which I'd wanna know everything their is to know about everything, only to end up feeling a lot stupider for it.
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Menard
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« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2008, 09:26:26 PM »

For me, it would probably be like that episode of The Weird Al Show in which I'd wanna know everything their is to know about everything...

And the genie turns you into a 17 year old...











...girl.

 TeddyR
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Andrew
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« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2008, 09:28:03 PM »

She's 86 years old.
PAM GRIER will be 59 years old on May 26...  TeddyR

Yes.  A bit of a "Sextette" joke in my reference.  I still imagine that Pam Grier at 86 might not be too attractive to me at my present age.  Pretty woman for sure, but "Sextette" actually damaged part of my brain.
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Andrew Borntreger
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Menard
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« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2008, 09:35:31 PM »

...but "Sextette" actually damaged part of my brain.

Sure, blame it on "Sextette". Lookingup
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LilCerberus
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ORANGE


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« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2008, 09:36:17 PM »

For me, it would probably be like that episode of The Weird Al Show in which I'd wanna know everything their is to know about everything...

And the genie turns you into a 17 year old...











...girl.

 TeddyR

Y'know, that just might work.
I've alway wanted to try the whole huffing & screeching thing as a form of getting in the final word.
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Killer Bees
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« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2008, 11:51:45 PM »

I wish for a purse full of $50 bills that never runs out. 

Failing that, I'll have my 23 yo figure back, thank you.

Or a romantic date with either Robert Beltran or Vincent D'Onofrio.

But I'll settle for a year's worth of daily piano lessons with Tori Amos.

Please don't ruin my fantasies, they're all I've got left!  Bluesad
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