Who Saw Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest

[calicrow]

It's actually #3 on a google search of just "scarlet fry" . I was the other half of the directing team on scarlet fry and I think this post is the funniest s**t I have ever read. I actually want to see the movie you guys have created...except that it would probably be like 14 hours long.

[Rev. Powell]

I was the other half of the directing team on scarlet fry...

Your other half was quite the jackass with his spammy ways, thus turning your movie into an object of ridicule on this board.  On the other hand, they say no publicity is bad publicity, as long as they spell the name right, so good luck with SCARLETT FRIES FASTFOOD TERRORFEST.

[ghouck]

Was this particular Wookie K.D. Lang?

No, but this person was K.D. Lang's stunt double in that OTHER really crappy movie, so with those being the only two movies he's been in (Yea, weird that K.D. had a MALE stunt double), he's 2 for 2 in crappy, boring, unintelligible films. Between the two, those films have the personality of a pubic louse.

[AndyC]

I had heard that Brent Spiner doubled for K.D. Lang on this movie, although I'm still not entirely convinced they're different people.

[RCMerchant]

I had heard that Brent Spiner doubled for K.D. Lang on this movie, although I'm still not entirely convinced they're different people.

They're two different people NOW...was a time they were one....but they split into two...

   

( By the way....this is an ACTUAL photo of Brent-big head,and KD-small head-pre split...and the girl is Miss Cooper! )

[ghouck]

I saw a documentary on that surgical procedure. It seems they only used 18th century hand tools and drugs produced SOUTH of Mexico. The operation was performed in an old sawmill that had since been used as a stable for manically depressed horses, then turned into a Cracker Barrel restaurant. It was in Iowa, and  since the Cracker Barrel failed its health inspection, it was converted into a hospital (In Iowa, apparently it is harder for a RESTAURANT to pass health inspections that a HOSPITAL). The operation was a success, but has since been commonly referred to as "The Fiat Job", since, like any Fiat dealership, after the work was done, there were several parts left over, and nobody knew where they went, , but the subject worked, so WFT. . .
The same group of surgeons, only a year later, performed a double emergency procedure on Madonna and Courtney Love to surgically remove their sluttieness. It was a complete failure in all aspects.

[Mr. DS]

Speaking of surgical procedures, I have to admit that Dr. Phil did play a great quack physician in the movie.  When he did that evil breast enhancment and butt lift on Janet Reno's character...well...words could not describe my reaction to the scene. 

[AndyC]

I loved that part, and the way they digitally recreated the late Sam Jaffe as his assistant/conscience.

"But why, Phil? What good can it possibly do to enhance Janet Reno in this way? You're mad."

And it was especially effective because they foreshadowed the whole thing, and provided a glimpse into Dr. Phil's madness, by showing that tractor with hubcaps on the way into his house.

Still not sure if I buy the hidden basement door to his rec room/operating theatre, though. Just seemed a little too easy for the newly-enhanced Reno to slip out and start devouring livestock on the surrounding farms.

[CheezeFlixz]

It's actually #3 on a google search of just "scarlet fry" . I was the other half of the directing team on scarlet fry and I think this post is the funniest s**t I have ever read. I actually want to see the movie you guys have created...except that it would probably be like 14 hours long.

If the other director came in here and was honest about who he was then we might have tried to see and support the film, but his/she came in here and tried to create a buzz and wasn't every clever enough not to use a email address that didn't have his name in it.
Most of use can smell BS a mile away ... he's not the first to try to create a buzz about a movie he won't be the last. Just be honest is that so hard?

[Dennis]

I may be the only one here who found this film to be mostly boring and pretentious, due I believe to the ridiculous camera angles and the boring, predictable dialogue. There are some parts of this film, particularly the scenes with the wookies and later on with Janet Reno that have very obviously been improvised on the spot by the actors themselves. However there is one brightly shining moment in this film which transcends the boring stupidity of the rest of the movie and makes the 3 hour wait till its arrival worth every second of painful viewing, you must watch the 3 hours or so leading up to this scene to understand it. I'm referring to the scene in the basement operating room where the digital Sam Jaffe  pauses while handing a scalpel to Dr. Phil. During the close up of his face, while he considers the incredibly low depths to which his life as assistant/conscience has sunk you can see reflected in his eyes the classic scene from "Gunga Din" in which Jaffe as Gunga Din stands on the temple spire sounding his bugle, then is shot by the Thuggee army and falls to his death. This scene is a masterpiece of cinema, symbolising man's endless striving to reach above himself only to be brought low by the actions of a cruel and unfeeling universe. This one scene makes up for the rest of this awful film and makes it worth watching.

[ghouck]

Speaking of surgical procedures, I have to admit that Dr. Phil did play a great quack physician in the movie.  When he did that evil breat enhancment and butt lift on Janet Reno's character...well...words could not describe my reaction to the scene. 

Same here, fortunately (of, if you are my dry cleaners, then UNfortunately), by body had several other functions besides speech in which to react with.

I may be the only one here who found this film to be mostly boring and pretentious, due I believe to the ridiculous camera angles and the boring, predictable dialogue.

Predictable dialog? Are you telling me that in the scene with the Hobos and the Mexican sailor, you "Predicted" the old woman was going to mumble "4691 irradiated haggis" over a hundred and seventy times unanswered? Are you telling me that when Janet Reno took her clothes off and grabbed her mommy-bags, you "Predicted" she was going to sing and dance the "My Milkshake" song?

Also, when Dr. Phil came into the room to perform the breast enhancement, did anyone else notice that:
1) While emerging from another operating room into the one Janet was in, he took off a name tag that said "Dr Phil, Proctologist", and put one on that said "Dr Phil, Plastic Surgeon".
2) He didn't wash his hands.
3) At no time did he wear latex gloves.

[Raffine]

Also, when Dr. Phil came into the room to perform the breast enhancement, did anyone else notice that:
1) While emerging from another operating room into the one Janet was in, he took off a name tag that said "Dr Phil, Proctologist", and put one on that said "Dr Phil, Plastic Surgeon".
2) He didn't wash his hands.
3) At no time did he wear latex gloves.

This just supports the theory that this film is in reality a documentary.

[ghouck]

This just supports the theory that this film is in reality a documentary.

I would agree, , except documentaries usually have a few things that this film doesn't: namely direction, information, facts, a point of view, continuity, consistency, intelligence, acting, narration, mood music, someone to spell-check the credits (or "CRIDITS" as they would have it), lighting, an introduction and a conclusion with substance in between, intelligence, the support of expert opinion, and style. Did you notice the "Credits" were merely a list of people denying responsibility for, and accusing others of various parts of the film. Pretty bad when Lloyd Kaufman and Ewe Boll have BOTH said "Now THAT film is a real pile of crap". I actually lost a couple of pounds while watching it, but only because a little part of me DIED inside. I hope it wasn't anything vital, , unless some idiot decides to make a sequel, in which case I hope it WAS vital, because I don't want to live in a world so cruel as to let that happen.

[Mr. DS]

Did you notice the "Credits" were merely a list of people denying responsibility for, and accusing others of various parts of the film.

Ghouck, please don't tell me you failed to watch the few seconds after the credits rolled for the exclusive surprise.  I have to wonder about the connection between Leif Garrett and the Hydra.  Although if you look in the distance you can see something falling into the water.  I think it may be a satellite. 

[ghouck]

I must have missed it. I missed a bit around then because I was trying to wipe the barf out of my eyes.