:-( What's the point of that?

[SynapticBoomstick]

Recently got news from a friend of mine. His girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer and they had to remover her stomach. The cancer came back... she has 18 months... I refuse to accept that! She's the same age as me, you're not supposed to get this kind of thing at the start of your life, you're not! I'm not taking the news very well; I mean, I've never even met his girlfriend before but I've known this friend for a helluva long time. It feels like i'm going through it right now, you know?

People are telling me that there's nothing can be done, I can't accept that! Something can always be done, they have a year and a half, treatments have advanced, there are more options! I'll give them my freaking stomach, you know?! You live a short time and go out before you can make any kind of contribution or impact on life? What's the point of that?! I know life isn't fair but that's really unfair...

I'm sorry, I'm a bit troubled right now.

[frank]

That sucks. Sorry to hear this.

The sister of my sister's husband had a surgery two weeks ago because of cancer in her spinal cord. She is married and has two little daughters. The uncertainty of the future cracks us all up quite a lot. She didn't die directly after surgery (20 % chance), but at this time they do not know if the cancer is gone (30 % chance) or not (50 % chance). If not, no one knows what will happen.

I always took life as sort of a big game, where you can get taken out anytime. But as soon as "anytime" doesn't relate to the next couple of decades but the next couple of months, things get out of perspective for me.

Life is not like it should be, sometimes...

[ulthar]

Recently got news from a friend of mine. His girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer and they had to remover her stomach. The cancer came back... she has 18 months... I refuse to accept that! She's the same age as me, you're not supposed to get this kind of thing at the start of your life, you're not! I'm not taking the news very well; I mean, I've never even met his girlfriend before but I've known this friend for a helluva long time. It feels like i'm going through it right now, you know?

People are telling me that there's nothing can be done, I can't accept that! Something can always be done, they have a year and a half, treatments have advanced, there are more options! I'll give them my freaking stomach, you know?! You live a short time and go out before you can make any kind of contribution or impact on life? What's the point of that?! I know life isn't fair but that's really unfair...

I'm sorry, I'm a bit troubled right now.

A lot of what you are saying here makes a lot of sense.  Anger and a nonacceptance phase is part of the process.  Even though you don't know her, having something like this hit close to home brings the realities, er, close to home.

Empathy is good....it binds us.  It SHOULD make it harder for us to treat each other like crap.  Every day, the people that we see likely have something like this going on in their lives.  Often, sadly, we stay too wrapped up in our own selfish wants to care, and get impatient, or worse.

These kinds of realities of life teach us that WE, humans, are NOT the center of the universe.  There are forces that are beyond our control, things bigger than us.  If this is the first time you are dealing with something like this, I think it will be life-altering when that all-important acceptance phase arrives.

In any case, I think the best I can offer is to be a friend, be caring.  Ask him (your friend) and HER if there is anything you can do to for her.  Maybe she does not want to be babied, treated like someone who is sick, so don't assume she wants that.  Realize that her life means something to YOU (even if you have not met her directly...this is BIG stuff...we are ALL connected, not just to our friends and acquaintances), and show her that.

One thing, and not the only thing, that gives her life meaning, is that it has increased yours, and our, awareness of this horrible disease.  We can all use the opportunity to volunteer with Hospice (or some other similar group), donate time, money or other resources to a cancer research organization, etc.  Through her pain, she might help ALL of us push a little harder to help others in the future.

I will say a prayer for you and for her.  I will pray that you both find peace, and though some may find that a hollow ending, true peace is to me the greatest gift in such circumstances.

God Bless You Both.

--John

[SynapticBoomstick]

A lot of what you are saying here makes a lot of sense.  Anger and a nonacceptance phase is part of the process.  Even though you don't know her, having something like this hit close to home brings the realities, er, close to home.

Empathy is good....it binds us.  It SHOULD make it harder for us to treat each other like crap.  Every day, the people that we see likely have something like this going on in their lives.  Often, sadly, we stay too wrapped up in our own selfish wants to care, and get impatient, or worse.

These kinds of realities of life teach us that WE, humans, are NOT the center of the universe.  There are forces that are beyond our control, things bigger than us.  If this is the first time you are dealing with something like this, I think it will be life-altering when that all-important acceptance phase arrives.

In any case, I think the best I can offer is to be a friend, be caring.  Ask him (your friend) and HER if there is anything you can do to for her.  Maybe she does not want to be babied, treated like someone who is sick, so don't assume she wants that.  Realize that her life means something to YOU (even if you have not met her directly...this is BIG stuff...we are ALL connected, not just to our friends and acquaintances), and show her that.

One thing, and not the only thing, that gives her life meaning, is that it has increased yours, and our, awareness of this horrible disease.  We can all use the opportunity to volunteer with Hospice (or some other similar group), donate time, money or other resources to a cancer research organization, etc.  Through her pain, she might help ALL of us push a little harder to help others in the future.

I will say a prayer for you and for her.  I will pray that you both find peace, and though some may find that a hollow ending, true peace is to me the greatest gift in such circumstances.

God Bless You Both.

--John

Sadly, this isn't the first cancer-related incident I've been party to  but I thank you for the kind council.

[Patient7]

That sucks, it's even worse that it happened at a young age because as you said she hasn't really had the opprotunity to make an impact in life yet.

[odinn7]

God damn....I'm sorry to hear this...I understand what you're experiencing as I have a friend that is right around my age that will be dead shortly from Stage 3 Colon Cancer. This guy was the picture of health...and suddenly, It's all over. A real great guy too....volunteered his time with little kids, always willing to help people out...and life just f**ked him.

All I can offer for you is to stay strong...for you and them.

Take care

[SynapticBoomstick]

God damn....I'm sorry to hear this...I understand what you're experiencing as I have a friend that is right around my age that will be dead shortly from Stage 3 Colon Cancer. This guy was the picture of health...and suddenly, It's all over. A real great guy too....volunteered his time with little kids, always willing to help people out...and life just f**ked him.

All I can offer for you is to stay strong...for you and them.

Take care

Thank you. Life isn't fair but sometimes it's tough to accept that :-|