indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 2594
Posts: 15212
A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
|
 |
« on: July 21, 2008, 10:12:25 AM » |
|
This is a fairly new release from Dimension Extreme productions, and Lordy! It is awful.
It bills itself as the next generation zombie film, with the fastest, deadliest zombies ever - but this movie makes HOUSE OF THE DEAD look like a Romero classic. My brain is still hurting!
OK, as best I can sort it out the morning after, these kids are gearing up for a big party at a deserted country house - which I think is supposed to be an old hospital, even though it doesn't resemble one. Meanwhile, at the morgue, the local coroner has finished working on a corpse and slides it into a vault, telling his lab assistant to mop up some blood on the floor and take the rest of the day off. While the assistant is cleaning up, he hears a noise in the body vault, slides the drawer out, and gets chomped by a re-animated corpse. Then a kid at school goes nuts and bites his professor's throat. (This place has lockers and bells like a high school, but the kids all refer to their teachers as Professor, and look to be about 30. High school? College? Who knows?)
Then the stoner with the hot cheerleader girlfriend (whose fellow cheerleader pals can't stand him) decides to drive to the city with a couple of buds to see a band play at a grunge bar. There are no cars on the highway and the city seems deserted, but when they get out of the car they are mobbed by zombies and hide inside the bar. Then they make a run for it when the zombies disperse, because he wants to get back home and see if his dad and girlfriend are OK. His dad (the coroner from the movie's first scene) has become a flesh muncher, but his girl and one of her friends have survived the carnage at the party, where zombies ran amok and ate nearly everyone. They flee to the school, losing members of their little posse along the way. There the camo-clad janitor finds them and takes them to the basement, explaining that their town and the one near it were being used by the military to test a zombie vaccine. He tells the stoner kid that his dad, the town's mortician, was the project's director and had developed a vaccine that would keep anyone bitten from becoming a zombie. The kid and his girl grab a jeep and flee to the morgue, zombies in pursuit, and when they get there, they find a bunch of people in camouflage hazmat suits prowling the morgue. The Hazmat Rangers start chasing the poor couple, shouting that they are probably infected, and the two lovebirds run outside, to find a mob of zombies awaiting them. They try to go back in, but the doors are locked, and just when all seems lost . . . .
'TO BE CONTINUED' flashes up on the screen.
AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! What kind of a way is that to end a movie! What a disjointed heap of cinematic excrement this is! Must . . .. find . . . and . . . kill . . . director!!
OK, I'm calm now. Seriously, this movie REALLY stunk. There were a couple of decent gore effects - one girl got her lower jaw pulled off by a zombie, and there was a serious "chainsaw thru the face" moment - but the zombie action is so fast and so "shaky cam" it is very annoying. The plot is non-existent, and the poor filming takes the fright out of the chase sequences. The characters are so one-dimensional they might as well be made of cardboard, and the clumsy attempts at foreshadowing do nothing but give away the lame kill scenes that follow later in the movie. Even the new DAY OF THE DEAD was better than this mess. Unless you're a hard-core zombie fan, leave this one alone. If you are a hard-core zombie fan, watch DIARY OF THE DEAD and you'll be happier.
|
