I think I'm ready....

[RCMerchant]

I think I'm ready to die. Really.  I'm ready.....I ain't scared.

[Allhallowsday]

Stop that sh!t.  Look in your messages, you can call me.  Or post some of those way cool youtube videos you're an expert at finding, not to mention BELA avatars!!!       Lighten up!  You know you want to!!  F*ck drinking.  ROCK is still great without a drink.  Check out this clip!!  Recognize that you are beloved on this board for expressing your opinions and yourself.  You ROCK. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7R5OkWVNfM
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[RCMerchant]

Ain't got nothing to do with anything....I'm just curiious...who is afarid to diE? Who isn;'t? 

[Allhallowsday]

Ain't got nothing to do with anything....I'm just curiious...who is afarid to diE? Who isn;'t? 

"...And let me kick out the jams..., yes!  Kick out the jams!  I wanna kick 'em out...!!"    
I don't want to die, but feel lucky to be as old as I am and ready to embrace my fate.  The mosquito in your ear is preferable to the worm in your tomb.  Live and find what interests you; you do have complete control of your fate.  Fear is what enslaves us.  Have faith in yourself. 

[indianasmith]

Personally, my preference would be to live to 137  and die wrestling a giant anaconda (or Anne Hathaway).  But I am at peace with myself and my God, so whenever my time comes, I hope to meet my end with my eyes wide open and my heart grateful for all the coolness I have experienced.  But in the meantime . . . I've got a lot of living to do!

[Menard]

...I'm not.


I could not have said that a few years ago. That was not complacency, though, rather being in a dark place and wanting out of it.

Having no fear of the inevitable (whether that be tomorrow or 50 years from now) is not a bad thing, so long as it is not a case of simply not caring.


Several years ago (maybe 5?) someone at a bank branch was looking at the computer screen and noticed a message distributed to all branches that read (paraphrased) "Branch 302 will be closed today...our prayers go out to them".

It was the day before Halloween when I pulled up outside of branch 301. The mood was as gloomy as the sky that day. It wasn't a case of where nobody wanted to talk; actually several did as it gave them something to do to occupy their minds that morning in what was going to be a long, unpleasant day.

Roy had left from home early that morning, looked in on his wife and kids just a little longer this morning before he left. He went to the gym and did his morning workout. He then went to the bank where he was the manager, branch 302, pulled into his parking space, reclined his seat, placed his gym towel over his face, and shot himself in the head.

I guess Roy was ready.


I was doing portraits at a church in Indiana. Most of my work was centralized out of Evansville at that time.

One of the people waiting for portraits was this elderly woman. I had filled out her sitting card for her to find out that she was 90. Just out of conversation I had commented on how well she looked for her age and said something along the lines that I may take her portrait when she is 100.

She had commented that she hoped not. She had lived long enough, was tired, and was ready.

I guess she was ready.


Those are two sides of a coin; one being in a bad place, one being in a good place, but both were ready.

I'm not in either place. I have been in a very dark place and certainly came close. I have not reached that good place and plan on taking my time getting there.

Maybe it's fear on my part, as I certainly have not cared before.

Maybe it's greediness on my part. There are things I want to do, accomplishments I want to reach. In the scope of things eternal these are but fleeting moments of mundane ashes, but at least it might mean something to me. If I don't reach those goals, well, I don't; but I want the opportunity.


There's nothing wrong with being ready, and perhaps it is admirable; just make certain which side of that coin you are looking at.



P.S. If it involves lesbians, soap, oil, and heart failure, I'll consider that retirement.

[Trevor]

Hey, Ronnie, chin up my friend and warm greetings from Pretoria! 

I also think I'm ready: I would just need advance warning of my impending last breath so that I could make arrangements for my family, specifically my mom who has had to go through so much in the last few months. I would take care of anything owing and ensure that I do not leave a cent owing behind and would also pay for my funeral and any other costs in advance. My Dad left my Mom OK, so I would too.

[Sister Grace]

I don't wish my time to come soon; but if it does, so be it.

I've done a lot in my life, from live on the streets of memphis, to making my way to Mexico with just fifty dollars to my name. I've experienced full bliss (the birth of my daughter) and full rage ( i won't go there). I've had the priviledge of learning beyond highschool, which has been great, but i'm glad its almost wrapping up. I've had the opportunity to know a lot of great people, some are still around but some have passed over as we all do eventually; some went naturally, some went violently, and some by thier own hand. Some of life is hard, some of it is fruitful. Some of it I understand but parts of it I never will.

I've known the sun on my face.
The joy of growing a garden.
And the look in the eyes of a child that feels safe and loved.

Of course, there are still things I'd like to do. I'd like to go visit where the Wall fell. I've had two great love affairs, but alas I've never found love. Most importantly I'd like to stick around till my daughter is old enough to know who she is and to appreciate it.

[Trevor]

I've known the sun on my face.
The joy of growing a garden.
And the look in the eyes of a child that feels safe and loved.

That is truly beautiful, Sister: karma for that. 

[AnubisVonMojo]

If I had a choice I'd rather not die, but if I was suddenly struck by some incurable disease I could go out with a smile. Insane as it might make me sound, I've discovered a "detached", sociopath state-of-mind where I care about nothing. As goofy as it sounds, it almost feels like I'm no longer myself, but a separate person controlling myself like a character being controlled in a video game. I have no fear and I could easily throw myself from a tall building anytime I want to. I'm not depressed and this isn't something I consider doing, it's just a comforting thought to know that if I had to die I could do it without pain or fear... morbid as that probably sounds.

[asimpson2006]

I feel I am ready myself.  I'm not suicidal though the though has crossed my mind once or twice.  I found out Tuesday that I have another cyst forming so I may have to get another surgery in the near future.  I wouldn't be sad if I did die now, I would just be upset that I didn't have any children or get married.   

[RCMerchant]

I feel I am ready myself.  I'm not suicidal though the though has crossed my mind once or twice.  I found out Tuesday that I have another cyst forming so I may have to get another surgery in the near future.  I wouldn't be sad if I did die now, I would just be upset that I didn't have any children or get married.   

I truly wish you well. Tara Sue (me wifey) is in the hospital now. She has been going through chemo for almost a year now.....but now she's in the hospital.  I guess I'm way too emotional of a person. I dunno...

 I hope you get better. Death saddens me.....my own doesn't scare me....but the death of my family terrifies me. 

[asimpson2006]

 
I truly wish you well. Tara Sue (me wifey) is in the hospital now. She has been going through chemo for almost a year now.....but now she's in the hospital.  I guess I'm way too emotional of a person. I dunno...

 I hope you get better. Death saddens me.....my own doesn't scare me....but the death of my family terrifies me. 

Thanks RC.  My family doctor gave me some antibiotics to help with it, but as I've seen with my other cysts that I have had (2 in the past 2 years) surgery will probably be down the road for me.  If it does happen it will my 3rd surgery in two years for this.  My last surgery was a reconstructive surgery for problems relating to this, so hopefully I can get lucky and just get it lanced and it will go away.

I am sorry to hear about your wife being in the hospital.  Death saddens to me to a degree.  A few months ago someone I went to High School with died suddenly and I was shocked by it.  I was more shocked by the fact that she's was a year younger than me (I'm 23 and she was 22 when she died).  My grandmothers death almost 2 years ago really saddened me and my family for a while.  It still makes me sad when I do something that me and her used to do together like doing laundry and making a bed.   

[AnubisVonMojo]

I hope you get better. Death saddens me.....my own doesn't scare me....but the death of my family terrifies me. 

That's the major reason why I'd rather not die. I don't want anybody who cares about me to have to deal with the loss. Granted, I wouldn't be around to feel the guilt afterwards, but I'd feel really guilty before and I hate feeling guilty.

[Mr. DS]

To paraphrase one of George Carlin's great words, the point of living is to avoid dying.