The Stupid Questions/Comments topic

[Joe the Destroyer]

We all get stupid questions at work, or hell, we even ask stupid questions.  It's a part of human living; sad but true.  Post any stupid questions you've heard, said, or even new ones that come up. 

1. A guy once walked up to me with a tank top in my department and asked, "Will this fit an 11-year-old?"  I asked him, "What size is he?"  He responded, "I don't know.  He's 11." 

2. While checking out at a hotel with my parents, a guy walked in and asked, "How much is your complimentary breakfast?"

3. Someone once called our store and asked what the phone number was.  They weren't joking.

4. My girlfriend works at a Subway, and she says she gets a fair number of people who ask for "a Veggie Delight with turkey on it." 

5. One of my niece's friends once said that white people came from America.

6. I'm guilty of this one... I once tried to order a vanilla shake with chocolate syrup in it.  The waitress said, "Okay... so a chocolate shake?"  I felt pretty stupid, but we all had a good laugh.

7. The final one, a person once stated on GameFAQs that Chrono Trigger was a "Pokemon ripoff." 

[Psycho Circus]

The only thing I can think of off-hand, is when my mom's boyfriend wanted to make cheese on toast. He was stood next to me, put the toast in the toaster then said; "Err, when do I put the cheese in?" 

[ghouck]

When asked who Paul Revere was, My niece answered with "He was the guy that said 'The Jewish are coming'". My wife promptly corrected her with "It was 'The Russians are Coming' that he said". .

My wife actually said "It's about 60 miles, so if you go 60 miles an hour, it will take you about 20 minutes to get there". I guess she sucks at history AND math.

I had a worker tell me he shouldn't be in prison for MURDER, it should be MANSLAUGHTER, , he said "The gun accidentally went off when I was beating my wife with it"

I was at a gas station when a customer that was trying to use the ATM went up to the counter and asked what the PIN was for the card she had in her hand. The clerk said "It's your card, don't you know", to which she replied "It's not my card, I just found it on the ground"

When I was at the NCO academy during a formal dinner, one of the Cadre told the students that if they drank MORE they wouldn't have to pee as often. Some of them believed it, , one ended up peeing himself.

I had a squad member SWEAR that if a white girl got pregnant by a black man, , that EVERY baby she has after that, no matter who the father is, would be black. I dug and dug for an explanation and couldn't get anything remotely intelligent.

I once ordered a vegetarian calzone at a restaurant. I also ordered an appetizer plate of calamari. They told me they couldn't serve me Calamari because I was a vegetarian. I told them I wasn't a vegetarian, I just like vegetable calzone, to which they replied that they couldn't serve me a vegetarian calzone unless I was a vegetarian. I have since come to the conclusion they just didn't want my money.

[Psycho Circus]

ooh another! Once my mom wanted her boyfriend to be nice to the cat and stroke it, as she brought the cat to him he said; "Eeee, no, he's got his fingers out dead loud!"

A girl my mom works with, once said that she doesn't like going to the bathroom because; "When I go to wash my hands, a shark might come out of the tap" 

[AndyC]

4. My girlfriend works at a Subway, and she says she gets a fair number of people who ask for "a Veggie Delight with turkey on it." 

It does sound healthier than just ordering a turkey sub, even if it's the same thing. Myself, I used to order the Garden Patty sub years ago, and ask for bacon on it. I admit I was being a smartass the first time, but it actually tasted really good.

[Patient7]

I was once at Six Flags waiting in a short line for a ride right before it closed so no one else was allowed in line.  One kid kept on trying to sneak in (unsuccessfully) when I shouted, "YOU ARE PERSISTENT!!"  The dumbass girl standing next to me, we were both in the eighth grade by the way*, and asked me, "What does persistent mean?"

*That's just a field trip that every kid in the eighth grade in  the school district I was in got to go on.

[CheezeFlixz]

Every time I go into the "Everything is $1" store, I hear someone ask how much something is.

I suggested to the clerk to tell them it's "A buck, two, ninty-eight". Let them figure it out.

[Trevor]

The amount of times a client has asked me to "just put that film onto DVD for me" boggles my mind. FYI: we can't: there is a thing called copyright.

I get a little  if someone asks me "You can't perhaps help me" or "You don't have their number?" My usual reply is "If you already know I can't help you, why do you ask me?"

[Mr. DS]

I worked for a well known pharmacy retail chain back in college and had a barrage of idiotic questions. 

1.) A woman wanted to know what cough medicine she should give a 12 year old, I said ask the pharmacist.  She said, "Oh you have a pharmacy here".

2.) People who would call up on Christmas morning and say, "Oh hi you're open?"  Even when I answered the phone "Hi we're open 9-5 today how can I help you". 

Theres more I can't think of now.  After I graduated, I swore I'd never work retail again.  Too much exposure to the idiocy of the common public. 

[Jack]

2.) People who would call up on Christmas morning and say, "Oh hi you're open?"  Even when I answered the phone "Hi we're open 9-5 today how can I help you". 

LOL, I'm guilty of that.  You call up the place to find out if they're open, and somebody answers the phone so obviously they are.  So, um, whaddya do then? 

My wife works at this little boutique in the mall.  Her boss bought a new computer for the place, and was proudly explaining how it had all the latest security software:  anti-virus, anti-trojan horse, anti-spam, etc.  My wife had a hard time keeping a straight face, considering that computer isn't hooked up to the internet.

I used to work with this woman who was always asking me what time it was.  There was a clock right there on the wall.  She also would refer to the small sized floppy disks as a "hard disk" because they were, well, hard.  As you can imagine, this led to some confusion.

We had a Management Information Systems coordinator working there.  She asked me "If you want to loosen a screw, do you turn it left or right?"  I think I told her that all of her screws were already loose.

Some employee called me up to ask where the "Q" was on the keyboard.  Apparently he had been searching for it for quite some time.

I was in Quick Trip and there was this old lady in there.  She wanted to pay for her gas.  The clerk explained to her that her husband was still pumping the gas, so she couldn't tell her how much it would be until he was done.  This was apparently beyond the little old lady's ability to comprehend, so she stood there, literally in a rage, until her husband came in and got the whole thing straightened out.

I was in a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and some woman was demanding to know why the Extra Crispy cost a few cents more than the Original Recipe.  Of course the employee didn't know.  This went on for some time, as the rest of us customers stood there in line waiting. 

[Psycho Circus]

Some employee called me up to ask where the "Q" was on the keyboard.  Apparently he had been searching for it for quite some time.

  HAHAH, Oh that is priceless!

[Trevor]

Some employee called me up to ask where the "Q" was on the keyboard.  Apparently he had been searching for it for quite some time.

  HAHAH, Oh that is priceless!

I agree. 

[Trevor]

I have this special lady in my life (I've known her for almost two decades now) and I always buy her roses, lingerie and shoes at least twice a month. No funny business: she likes these things and I like buying them for her. She's my best female friend and like a sister to me. 

When I buy her gifts like this, the shop assistants will always ask "Is this for you?" like (a) I wear stuff like that and (b) in such a size. If I get asked that about lingerie, I always look at the bra (or whatever it is) push out my chest, grab my manboobs and say "Nahh, not my size."

[frank]

...
I once ordered a vegetarian calzone at a restaurant. I also ordered an appetizer plate of calamari. They told me they couldn't serve me Calamari because I was a vegetarian. I told them I wasn't a vegetarian, I just like vegetable calzone, to which they replied that they couldn't serve me a vegetarian calzone unless I was a vegetarian. I have since come to the conclusion they just didn't want my money.
....

Good one!

My girlfriend is a vegetarian. A usual conversation in a restaurant, at a buffet, etc is like this:

Girlfriend: Is there meat in this?
Service: No.
Girlfirend: What are these tiny specks in it?
Service: Bacon.

or

Girlfriend: I want something without meat, I'm vegetarian.
Service: Oh (to be said solicitously, like to someone with a mortal disease)! Hmm. How about sausage, can you eat that?

To most people over here, at least in somewhat rural areas, a vegetarian won't eat big chunks of blood-dripping meat, but everything where you can't actually see it's from a once live animal is OK. (Although I've been at student parties where people would say: Eeew, steaks, I couldn't eat those, it looks like dead animal. I like bologna.)

[AndyC]

Eeew, steaks, I couldn't eat those, it looks like dead animal. I like bologna.

I can see where they're coming from. When I was little, I used to be much the same way. Hamburgers, for example, might have been made from lesser meat, more fat, more gristle, etc. than steak, but it was all ground up and blended into a nice, homogenous mixture that looked good, tasted good and was easy to chew. It wasn't so much that I didn't want it to look like an animal as that I couldn't stand to have any visible fat, gristle, connective tissue, etc.

Mind you, I grew out of that and I enjoy a good steak now and then. I also discovered that part of the reason I didn't like roasts growing up was that my parents bought cheap cuts and my mother cooked them more efficiently than well. I got served a fair bit of tough, bland meat as a kid. These days, I pride myself on being able to cook a good roast - like mother didn't make.