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Author Topic: Recent theatrical viewings  (Read 69570 times)
BUREINPARESU
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« Reply #60 on: June 24, 2009, 06:21:37 PM »

Transformers 2, said in another thread I hated it.

I honestly want to re-appraise this, but seriously, I wish I had brought my phone to the theatre, just so I could text my friend while I was there, I was hardly enjoying myself. I found myself staring at the exit sign at the side of the screen, that's just bad! I thought the original was a passable summer action flick, this just felt unforgivable though! The focus on the human characters is so uninspired and unfunny it's painful to watch, I was relieved whenever a transformer got some screen time (with the exception of those two damn Autobot twins, I was really hoping one of them was going to die), as everyone else is just either an annoying stereotype or someone who just makes you hate them. Being a fan of mecha, I've really come to hate these re-designs, they didn't bother me so much in the original movie, but here, they're just a horrific mess of random polygonal shapes and some tiresome lens flares; the technical aspect is impressive, but these things look f*cking hideous, I really wish they went with some other way of re-designing the originals, I'm certain they definitely could have done something. The dialogue felt like it was filtered badly through someone who only had 90s lingo on their mind while still trying to keep it modern, it's embarrassing to hear, that and the score and the soundtrack are both obnoxious and add absolutely no feeling to the film. Silence during an important scene is usually much more effective than a generic score that has just been thrown together by an orchestra so they can get a paycheck.

I can't believe this mess had three writers working on it, its plot is terrible and it has one of the most uncalled for moments of deus ex machina ever, all the while it runs at two and a half hours. This is not a movie that deserves that length, it's nothing great, it's just Bay and a bunch of corporate associations having one big, long circle jerk. The action scenes are this thing's only saving grace, and that's only if you can make sense of what you're seeing amid the spastic designs and Bay's poorly erratic mode of directing.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2009, 06:23:09 PM by BUREINPARESU » Logged
Jim H
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« Reply #61 on: June 25, 2009, 12:43:09 AM »

Quote
I honestly want to re-appraise this, but seriously, I wish I had brought my phone to the theatre, just so I could text my friend while I was there,

Do you actually do this?  If you do, you're being incredibly rude and obnoxious.  It's the equivalent of turning on a flashlight and pointing it at everyone behind you.  Just so you know.
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BUREINPARESU
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« Reply #62 on: June 25, 2009, 01:27:35 AM »

No I don't do it, I just hated that film enough to wish I was doing it.
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Jim H
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« Reply #63 on: June 25, 2009, 01:42:43 AM »

No I don't do it, I just hated that film enough to wish I was doing it.

Ah, OK.  That bad though, huh?  I feel pretty bad that I'm probably going to see this, in IMAX no less.  $12.  Damn.

One thing I'm wondering...  Does this focus far too much on the human characters, like the first one did?  I really didn't get that - why are are there all these scenes in the original movie where we're seeing humans run about and the Transformers are in the background?  Optimus even uses the "One shall stand, one shall fall" line, and when it happens, the camera is focused ONLY on Shia?!  WTF?!

They should have kept it like the series did it - one or two human characters for the right angle to view the transformers with, but otherwise revolve the film around the transformers.  

Also, I have to agree about the redesigns.  I believe a few minor redesigns of SOME characters were all that was needed (Megatron probably needed an update, maybe change the faces of a few others).  Optimus Prime's original look is ageless, for example.  I read a Marvel VS Transformers comic (as ridiculous as it sounds) where you see Optimus up against completely modern superheroes and he still looks great.  Why do we need seventy billion illogical flashy bits that do nothing but add CG processing costs to the films budget?  Hell, this is Michael Bay, you'd think he could use that extra money to stick 50 billion more fiery explosions in there.
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BUREINPARESU
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« Reply #64 on: June 25, 2009, 02:05:47 AM »

Heh, I thought I was gonna seem really ignorant for wanting to do that, but yeah, when I see a movie, I usually like to talk it over with a friend of mine who is quite movie-savvy.

There's a lot of focus on the human characters, but you'll wish it was focusing on something else, because everyone was just so painfully annoying to watch, it's American Pie with some sci-fi elements sprinkled.

I don't want to seem like a self-righteous cock for moaning about a summer movie, but I've seen many before and I've had a lot more fun with them. The action scenes aren't too bad though, there's a few real "F*CK YEAH!" moments, when you can make them out of course, but Bay's explosion fetish is ridiculous.
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« Reply #65 on: June 25, 2009, 12:18:55 PM »

LAND OF THE LOST:  I didn't have any expectation that this would be a good movie, but I was hoping it would be a great big enjoyable flop.  Instead it was tolerable but extremely forgettable.  Jokes were lame, mostly about dinosaur pee and grabbing boobies, and seemed squarely aimed at middle school boys.  The script was lazy: it frequently didn't make any sense, and it was content to wander from set piece to set piece without creating any momentum or tension out of the the main characters desire to escape the Land of the Lost.  The worst problem was that Will Ferrell's character was consistently unlikeable and uninteresting: he's dim, arrogant, weak-willed, and vindictive and he never undergoes any real character development, he's just a jerk from start to finish.  Still, it wasn't terrible, in that insidious way Hollywood has of taking mediocre ingredients and making them palatable with fast pacing, nice looking sets, and including a pretty face and body.  Dinosaurs and action sequences were acceptable.  2/5.
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
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« Reply #66 on: June 30, 2009, 06:25:48 PM »

THE HANGOVER: Three men awaken the night after a Las Vegas bachelor party up a tiger and a baby, and down a tooth and a bridegroom, and must reconstruct the previous night to find their missing friend. An outrageous comedy that unnecessarily goes WAY over the line of good taste at times--technically this should be an NC-17 film, it even has an explicit blow job shown in a still--but is still consistently funny with an involving mystery plot that keeps the viewer hanging on each new revelation.  This is the first movie I can think of that's actually an adaptation of an advertising slogan: "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."  4/5.
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
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« Reply #67 on: July 08, 2009, 11:43:46 AM »

SUMMER HOURS: Don't trust the good reviews.  This French film about three siblings amicably dividing up an artist's estate is every bit as dull as the plot summary makes it sound.  Well acted and thoughtful, but why not throw some dramatic conflict in just to keep us awake? 2/5.
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
El Misfit
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« Reply #68 on: July 08, 2009, 03:24:14 PM »

taking of Phelam 123 (remake) really intense.  TeddyR
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yeah no.
Hammock Rider
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« Reply #69 on: July 13, 2009, 01:51:30 PM »

Bruno was about as gross and disgusting a movie as I've ever seen, worse than Borat, and I'm not sure if I would see it again, but on the other hand I laughed like hell.  I don't understand that.
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Jumping Kings and Making Haste Ain't my Cup of Meat
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« Reply #70 on: July 13, 2009, 01:54:43 PM »

THE HANGOVER: Three men awaken the night after a Las Vegas bachelor party up a tiger and a baby, and down a tooth and a bridegroom, and must reconstruct the previous night to find their missing friend. An outrageous comedy that unnecessarily goes WAY over the line of good taste at times--technically this should be an NC-17 film, it even has an explicit blow job shown in a still--but is still consistently funny with an involving mystery plot that keeps the viewer hanging on each new revelation.  This is the first movie I can think of that's actually an adaptation of an advertising slogan: "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."  4/5.


What about that Ron Jeremy film...."Where's the Beef?"
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #71 on: July 18, 2009, 05:00:41 PM »

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE: As Harry the apprentice wizard enters his sixth year at the Hogwarts school, he searches for clues to the past of the Dark Lord while there is a plot afoot to assassinate the powerful Professor Dumbledore. Good adventure with the expected knockout visuals and magical gewgaws; the script is quite jerky, stuffing in many minor incidents to please fans of the book, while the main storyline is often missing connective tissue from one plot point to the next.  I have not read any of the books or seen any of the previous movies, but even though I didn't know who all the characters were I never got too lost since it's a basic good-versus-evil plot with archetype characters.  I know it's cool to hate on Harry Potter in some quarters, but I was mildly impressed: it was a pretty good adventure fantasy with eye-pleasing special effects and more characterization and plot than you usually see.  There's lots of entertainment that's much less imaginative and much more sloppily made clogging up the big screens nowadays.  3.5/5
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
The Burgomaster
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« Reply #72 on: July 20, 2009, 12:33:31 PM »

Bruno was about as gross and disgusting a movie as I've ever seen, worse than Borat, and I'm not sure if I would see it again, but on the other hand I laughed like hell.  I don't understand that.

Same here.  I thought it was funny, but I really didn't need to see the fairly explicit gay sex and bondage, nor did I need to see full frontal male nudity.  I'm sort of surprised this didn't get an NC-17 rating.
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« Reply #73 on: July 25, 2009, 02:18:52 PM »

MOON: Sam, two weeks away from finishing a lonely three year contract on a one man lunar mining base, finds a secret on the moon that will change everything he thinks he knows about the mission.  In an era when science’s role in science fiction is increasingly relegated to the production of rayguns and killer robots, MOON’s serious speculation about the world of the rapidly approaching future is a breath of fresh oxygen.  If you like real science fiction, please support this movie so Hollywood will catch on and produce more serious speculative fiction. 4/5.
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
indianasmith
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« Reply #74 on: July 25, 2009, 09:17:31 PM »

GROWING OUT - a guy gets a job as a caretaker in an old house where a strange old lady lives upstairs, unseen.  He discovers a human hand growing out of the basement floor, and it matures into a guy who loves the protagonist's music, which no one else can stand.  And there's a love triangle between the caretaker, the guy who lives in the trailer out back, and a cute female musician.  Then the caretaker gets mad at the guy who is growing out of the basement floor and cuts him up with an axe.  To be honest, this sounds bizarre and interesting, but the movie was slow moving and boring and after the initial novelty wore off, I found myself falling asleep. Don't waste your time.
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