Movies So Bad You Couldn't Watch The Whole Thing

[C. Hill]

Have any of you actually witnessed a stinker that was so bad that it made you walk out of the theatre or turn off the vcr?  I can pretty much sit through any movie no matter how bad it is with one exception.  That exception is Scary Movie.
 I rented Scary Movie once and it was so frigging terrible and thoroughly unfunny that I had to turn it off before it was even half way over.  Seriously, that was the first time I've ever found a movie so goddamn bad that I couldn't even watch the whole thing.  Do you all remember that one dirty kid when you were in third grade who picked his nose, knew all the naughty words, brought Playboys to school, and constantly made dick and fart jokes?  Well it looked like the Wayans brothers went to every school playground in America, rounded up every one of these kids and made them write a screenplay.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy lowbrow humor as much as the next guy, but this was beyond juvenile and what's worse, painfully unfunny.  You see the funny part is that there are spoofs of other movies in it, except the characters fall down and hit their heads a lot and stuff!  Brilliant right?  RIGHT????  Anyway, I never did finish watching this movie, and what's more I have absolutely no desire to.
So lemme hear your stories.  I wanna know if any of you have actually walked out of a theatre or stopped watching a movie completely never to view the rest of it because it was so bad.

[John Morgan]

I love MST3K and watch it every Saturday.  But when they showed the movie "Girl in the Golden boots," I couldn't sit through it.  Even all the jokes didn't help that one out.

(However, I did sit throught it when it was shown as a re-run.  Boy it was a bad movie.)

[systemcr4sh]

Ghoulies 2, Trucks, I know we've turned off more..I can't seem to think of them.... hmmmm.... oh, the comedy "18 again" with george burns..

-Damn.....oops I hit the M when I went to go hit the N, funny how one more letter and my name is a explictive

-Dan

[Cullen]

C. Hill - I might have enjoyed "Scary Movie" a bit more than you did.  I laughed at several spots and actually finished the movie.

I still hated the f***er.  That hatred is STILL growing.  It preys on me, you know?  No other movie has done that to me (though the "Carnosaurs" trilogy does come close.)
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As for movies so bad I couldn't sit through them, I will admit a certain weakness here.  Once, I was able to watch any movie, from start to stop, without quitting.  No matter how bad, I'd sit through it.  Just so I could say I saw it, so that I knew how it ended, so that I would NEVER HAVE A CAUSE TO WATCH THAT CRAP AGAIN! Perhaps it was machismo, perhaps masochism.  Who knows.  Who cares.

At some point, however, my will snapped, and now, if it's bad enough, I simply can't sit through it.  It started with "The Terror Within 2."  I can even tell you the exact moment I quit watching the film:  After sex with Our Hero, this blonde girl casually tells him she can feel their baby growing inside her.

Check please.

It's been growing worse since then.  I managed only five minutes with the slasher movie "Jack Frost."  The puppet head cracking jokes was what done me in.  Save me from Muppet Horror and Bats on Wires.

To alleviate some of the torture (especially when I've rented the bastards - the wasted money always burns me), I have taken up the nasty habit of fast forwarding through the "bad parts."  Thus I’ve “seenâ€� “New Year’s Evilâ€� and “Scars of Dracula.â€�

This is no way to view bad movies.  A Real Man sits through it, takes the Pain, the Anguish...Grows stronger…

Oh, my fellows, how far I have fallen...

[Chadzilla]

I literally squirmed through the Anthony Perkins starrer Edge of Sanity in the theater.  It was so bad the friend I was with asked me "Where you in that much pain?"

But I FINISHED it!

Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam (a Jim Varney hunk-a-junk before he hit it big with his Ernest schtick) - got through the opening segment, hit the credits and shut it off.

Couldn't finish the USA telemovie Trucks, and I sat through all of Strays.

[Cullen]

I'm proud to say I've only seen the end of "Trucks."  The heroes (I guess) are on the run, see a helicopter landing in front of them, and pile right in.  Surprise!  NO ONE'S AT THE CONTROLS!   Away they go!

Darwinism in action.

I have a little fondness for "Trucks."  Anything that makes "Maximum Overdrive" look well thought out is okay in my book.

[Chris K.]

The remake of PSYCHO: Now, we all know that remakes are probably the worst things ever to come out of Hollywood. Well, without even reading any of the reviews I decided to go see the new and improved PSYCHO. Well, needless to say it was neither NEW or IMPROVED because it was all done the same way Hitchcock made it in 1960. And you know what's funny, I swear I saw some people actually walk out and say "Jesus, what a bad movie". I walked out saying "Jesus, how Hollywood can stoop so low".

SCARY MOVIE: I did not see this in the theatre, but my dad rented it and after watching up to the last part I just left. I mean, it was BAD!

DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?: Dude, where's my refund? Tired teen comedy that made me snicker, but that was at the first 5 minutes of the film. The rest of it just failed miserably. I sulked my way out with nobody ever knowing that I left (probably becuase the whole theatre was empty in that section).

THE HAUNTING: Another remake with cartoon effect, laughable acting, and a poor script. And this is mainstream I am talking about! This is one I really wish I had not paid to see, but alas there goes my $7.50.

THE GRINCH: Oh God, a Jim Carrey film by Ron Howard. So it's basically Ace Ventura and little Opie Taylor trying to make a fashionable children's flick out of the old Dr. Suess book. Well it's fashionable, but tiresome, dull, slow, long running time of 104 minutes, etc. Or, to put it simply, as the saying goes: Stink, stank, stunk. Walked out in disgrace. And I still can't put it down to this very day.

The other films I WISH I COULD HAVE WALKED OUT ON were PEARL HARBOR, THE PATRIOT, and FREDDY GOT FINGERED. All my hard earned money spent on these crappy mainstream features. Now, who says all mainstream films are  good?

[Cullen]

"Now, we all know that remakes are probably the worst things ever to come out of Hollywood."

Small bit of nit picking here, hope you can forgive me.

I just like to point out that "The Maltese Falcon" and Gregory Peck's "Moby Dick" are both remakes and are both better than the original films  ("Falcon" comes damn clase to capturing the spirit of the original.)  Technically, Lugosi's "Dracula" and Karloff's "Frankenstien" are also remakes.  All four are all right pictures.

Now, as a rule, remakes are unimaginative works clinging to the legs of their better parents, hoping to be mistaken for them.  But Hollywood's been pumping out trash from the begining, and probably will keep on pumping trash out till the end of time.

[Scott]

Howard the Duck
Battlefield Earth

[Chadzilla]

Personally I think Phil Kaufman's redo of Invasion of the Body Snatchers is pretty good (in fact it's just about as good as Siegel's version).  Body Snatchers (Abel Ferrera's version) wasn't half bad either.

I also liked John Carpenter's The Thing (it's so much closer to the original story than Hawks's version).  Cronenberg's The Fly.  Hooper's Invaders from Mars (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures - I think IfM is cute and fun) and I love love loved Chuck Russell's high octane version of The Blob.  I'm also fond of the remake of Night of the Living Dead (it ain't no classic, but it's solid, respectful, and intelligent - something a lot of horror sequels and cash ins are not.  I do know that Tom Savini hated it and it almost became an Alan Smithee movie!)

[The Honn]

I walked out towards the end of Pearl Harbour, I just couldnt take it any more it was so AWFUL. I mean 4 guys took out a whole Japanese platoon. How? Because they're American gosh-darn it! Urgh.

[yaddo42]

Almost everything I've seen from Full Moon after the early 90s, got the fast forward treatment from me. The Killer Eye especially, I expected low-grade crap, but not pain from watching it. The last one of their films that I actually sat through was Blood Dolls.

The most painful thing I saw lately was the Dwight Yoakam Western epic "South of Heaven, West of Hell." After 40 minutes I didn't care about anything that was going on (not much was) and wanted the characters to all die, now. Lots of good actors in it, but everyone was apparently improving their dialog. So most of the scene last way too long while everyone in the scene showed off. I'd fast forward until it looked like something interesting was happening, wrong everytime.

BTW, my cousin  walked out of Army of Darkness, I've always though a little less of him ever since....

[Stefan Robak]

I can understand Invaders from Mars but I was bothered by it's inconsistency.  The first half was really cool and it was kind of creepy how everything was "just not quite right",  Then it gets really goofy.  I have no problem with either except it didn't mix very well.

[AndyC]

I still have The Killer Eye sitting on my shelf, half watched. No desire to finish it either.

The one that really comes to mind is Silence of the Hams. In another thread, someone mentioned how bad Airplane! style humour can be when it misses the mark. This one is a fine example. We watched about ten or fifteen minutes, then I got up, ejected the tape, and put in something else. Nobody complained.

Movies like Airplane! and The Naked Gun are silly, but there is some thought put into the humour. To a complete idiot, however, I'm sure it appears that it's just a bunch of silliness that can easily be duplicated. Silence of the Hams looked like it was written by a bunch of fifth-graders as a class project. The jokes were just stupid beyond belief.

In the same vein, I left a drive-in that was showing the Leslie Nielson Fugitive spoof. I think it was called Wrongfully Accused or something. In that case, it was the fourth movie of a long-weekend all-nigter. The desire for sleep won out. Still, nobody in the car had any second thoughts about leaving.

[Future Blob]

  Megaforce..uuurgh much pain

   Manos: The Hands Of Fate....an eye-pluckingly bad film

    Dark Universe: a totally silly and ridiculous movie. So bad if Full Moon made it it would be better


  On the other hand, Full Moon has made one recent good movie: The Dead Hate the Living