Puked Lately?

[Ash]

Puking...
Sometimes it makes us feel better.  Other times it makes us feel worse.
Some people love to do it.  Others hate the very thought of it.



What are your thoughts on puking?
How long has it been since you last blew chunks?
Why did you puke?

[The Burgomaster]

I picked "over 1 year ago."  I'm not sure if this is accurate, but I can't remember the last time I puked, so I assume it's been at least a year. 

[Torgo]

I last puked  about 6 months up to a year ago.

I was out at a Mexican restaurant with some friends. I guess I had been coming down with a stomach bug and didn't realize it until while I was eating there. All of a sudden I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom and puked like there was no tomorrow in the toilet.

The thing I hate most about puking is it coming out of your nose. You smell it for hours afterwards. 

[Rev. Powell]

I haven't puked in years, though I have had some close calls.  Alcohol was the culprit the last time.  Since I quit drinking irresponsibly, I haven't had cause to puke.  I haven't puked from bad food or a stomach virus since I was a little kid.

[Raffine]

The last time I blew grits was in 1993, when I was living in Key West. Somebody at dinner kept giving me glasses of, well, something mixed with cheap red wine. After about fifteen minutes I went into the bathroom and projectile vomited up what seemed like gallons of dark purple liquid. I felt much better afterward and so continued with my evening, even finishing my dinner.

I haven't vomited since. I guess I blew out my vomit gasket, or something.

[Joe the Destroyer]

I don't remember why I puked the last time I did, but I'm 99.9999999999999% sure it had something to do with alcohol.

[ghouck]

I can't remember when the last time was, but I thought this thread was as good of a place as any to let everyone know that I was the kid that barfed on the schoolbus two or three times a week when I was a kid. Yep, , that was me. . .

[MilkManPictures]

Was over Thanksgiving... after dinner a bunch of friends and I went to  Devil's Point (Portland, OR)... When I got home i puked all over a collection of movies my friend had brought over... Man it sucked cleaning those the next day.

[indianasmith]

Ah, the famous puke story.

You see, I don't drink, but every now and then I get these NASTY stomach bugs . . .

and the thing is, I can't hurl quietly.  I let loose with this tremendous  HHHCCCHHHHOOORRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     sound that lets everyone within a tri-state area know that I am blowing chunks.

One time, when I was working at a downtown museum in Greenville, TX, I got hit very hard by a stomach virus right after finishing lunch (an entire medium hamburger and mushroom pizza).  I was up in the front part of the museum, and the bathroom was in the very back, and I knew that there was no way I could make it all the way to the potty.  So, in desperation,  I ran out the front door of the museum, grabbed a street sign there at the corner of Lee and Johnson, and heaved until I felt my shoes come flying out my mouth.  Traffic was pulling up to a halt, attorneys walking down the steps of the courthouse across the street ceased their legalese and pointed in wonder, and a carload of Japanese tourists began taking pictures.  A family coming up the walk towards the museum got back in their car and drove off.  Utterly miserable, I stuffed my colon back down my throat, fished my shoes out of the steaming mound and put them back on, and walked back in to work.  My boss stood there, barring my way, and said "GO HOME!! Don't touch anything, don't breathe on anything, just GO HOME!"
She was always a very understanding lady.
I got in the car to drive to my old place, about 12 minutes away.  Halfway home, I pulled over and heaved again - it hit me before I could pull all the way over and get the door open, so the floorboard got to bear the load that time. I thought to myself - I don't think I could feel any worse if I tried.  Then the diarrhea hit.  

 I got home, shed my clothes in a pile just inside the door and told my wife to burn them or turn them over to the military as a biological weapon.  Then I turned on the water, and crawled in the tub . . . where I heaved AGAIN!  I was so weak and exhausted at that point I couldn't even lean forward to hit the toilet - so I pulled the plug, turned on the shower, and let the water sluice the thoroughly blown chunks off my body.  

Then I went to bed and slept for two days, and felt better.  

[Ash]

Haha!  Japanese tourists taking pictures of you spewing.  Somewhere in Japan, in someone's photo album, there is a picture of you heaving your guts out.  

I remember one time at a local nightclub when I was drinking heavily and puked.
It was closing time and they were kicking everyone out.
All of a sudden my mouth was completely filled with puke.  So full that my cheeks were blown out like a squirrell's and I had to hold my hand over my mouth. 
I couldn't go to the bathroom because it was all the way on the other side of the club.
So, I frantically searched around for something to barf into but couldn't find anything.
After about 10-20 seconds with a mouthful of puke, I passed a table with a half-eaten bowl of popcorn, grabbed it and spit all of that barf into it.
To this day, I always think of the poor waitress who found it and had to dispose of it.
Nasty!  

[ER]

A puke story by proxy.

When I was home on summer break from college in 2000, my dad and I went out to dinner with my my aunt, my cousin and my cousin's two children, her daughter, then four, and her son, who was under a year. We were all done eating and I was looking out of the corner of my eye at my watch because I was supposed to split and meet some people, and long story short, I ended up being passed my cousin's little son, Tyler, and just as I was taking him, right as he was in my hands, facing me, he "spat up" as they say, ALL over my hair. Miserable mess. I went into the restroom and rinsed the hurl out and even had a little bottle of shampoo I used, then went ahead and met up with the people I was supposed to but all night I kept worrying they could somehow smell baby yak in my hair.

I ended up watching Tyler a lot for Dana a couple years on down the road and he was always getting me to tell him the tale of him barfing in my hair at a restaurant. Thought it was hilarious, he did...

[AndyC]

Last time I puked was a couple of months ago. Stomach bug. Followed by a couple of days of the s**ts. Lovely. The part I hate most is the dry heaving after everything is up. Had the same bug last year, but had the misfortune of eating a huge plate of Chinese food before that one hit.

Going back a few years, I can think of a few good drunken puking stories. In particular, there was a buddy of mine who would inevitably puke at the end of any party, often in some extraordinary place.

I remember sitting across the table from him at a stag when he was more or less face-down on the table. Suddenly, everybody at the table jumps up as a pool of puke radiates out from him. That one had the added bonus of a couple of us taking him home and putting him to bed as he rambled on about what good friends we were.

On another occasion, several of us were sharing a motel room on a winter snowmobile trip. Naturally, the booze was flowing and we were showing off. My friend, in particular, thought it was funny to eat peanuts without removing the shells, and had quite a few that way, along with a fair bit of rye and coke. In the middle of the night, he rolls over and pukes on the radiator. Lovely. Actually, we all made a real mess of that room, and felt pretty guilty as the cleaning lady went in while we were out starting up our sleds. We apologized to her later, but she said she'd seen worse.

Probably the best story was from a camping trip we took on a long weekend around 1990 or thereabouts. It was at a campground with a restaurant in the main building, and we all went up for some bacon and eggs in the morning, along with plenty of juice and coffee for our hangovers. My buddy, who was celebrating a birthday the night before, and thus had every kind of alcohol poured into him, was in particularly rough shape. He was feeling sick when he went to sleep, and another friend told him that food would soak up the booze and settle his stomach, then proceeded to feed him a bunch of peanut butter cereal squares.   Since the only tent was flooded by heavy rain early in the evening, we slept in cars. Now, on the way to breakfast, my friend is sure that he puked in the back seat of his car, but he couldn't find anything when he woke up. We sit down and start eating, and there is a definite smell of puke. My friend checks himself over and can't find any, and we continue eating breakfast. Eventually, one of the other guys tracks down the smell. My friend was wearing a hoodie at the time. During the night, he somehow puked into his hood and was walking around with it still in there!

[The Burgomaster]

When I was a baby, I spat up on a clown who was marching in a parade.  He came over to where my parents were standing with me and tried to "cootchy-coo" me or something.  My mother still has the 8mm home movie reel that shows part of this incident.  The camera quickly went off when I started spewing on the clown.

[Jack]

It was just this last Friday - was having a few beers, then ate a bunch of Cheeto's before bed.  In the middle of the night my stomach decided it wasn't very fond of that combination.  Wasn't much of a puke though, on a scale of 1-10 I'd only give it a 3. 

I've decided I must have taste buds in my nose.

[meQal]

It's been in the past month. Ate something that didn't agree with me. Namely a McDonald's hamburger cause my wife likes to refuse to believe that the reason I never buy that clown food is cause it makes me sick like that. I think I proved my point by barfing it up but I seriously doubt it. I figure she will block that out and buy it again in the near future.