My Niece's Wedding

[meQal]

Been gone most of the day for my niece's wedding. What a mess that was. My youngest daughter was the flower girl so we had to be there early for pictures. The church should of been called Our Lady of Cat p**s cause the whole place smelled of just that. Well except the fellowship hall which smelled of rotten melons. Then there was the music. They had a pipe organ in the place and the organist either didn't know how to play it or that thing sounded horrible. Sure they sound cool in movies but in real life they suck. Now growing up Baptist I have never been to a Presbyterian wedding before. Apparently it involves everyone to stand up for the entire ceremony. Well either that or my brother-in-law forgot to sit down to let everyone know it was alright to sit. Thankfully it was a short ceremony. Then on to the reception which featured a host of some of the worst homemade foods I have ever tasted. To top it off the wedding cake was red velvet. It looked more like the cake was having an autopsy preformed on it than anything else. What really was fun was the fact that the groom's family all were drinking wine while my niece's family were all a bit upset about alcohol being served in a church. So the two families were not getting along that well. And this is not even getting to her maid of honor. This girl is a skank on the level of Paris Hilton. The night of the rehearsal, I thought my brother-in-law and this girl were going to fight cause she wanted to be the center of attention instead of letting my niece have her moment. So in closing I learned a few new things today:
1. Before any of my daughters get married in a church, I am going to check it out in advance. If it stinks of cat p**s or something else, will tell them I can't attend.
2. While it might not be a Presbyterian thing, I am never going to another wedding in a Presbyterian church because I hate to stand up for long periods of time.
3. My daughters are not allowed to get married in a Presbyterian church for the same reason as mentioned in 2.
4. I need to start saving now for a decent caterer or at least make sure not to let anyone who made food for today's disaster cook.
5. I don't need television to see skank, I can just ask my niece to call her maid of honor if I need to see it.
6. Seeing my brother-in-law have to give his daughter away makes me not want that day to come for me which I am sure one day eventually will.
7. Pipe organs sound cool in movies but rather suck hearing in real life.

[Raffine]

I feel your pain.

My sister and I got fleas on us from my sister-in-law's nasty-ass "Best Friend" from Birmingham at my niece's huge Episcopalian wedding.

Epilogue: My niece left her brand new new husband during their Hawaiian honeymoon because he didn't want to 'party'.

The marriage was annulled. 

[Hammock Rider]

Confirmed bachelorhood: It isn't just for closeted gays and Dungeons and Dragons fanatics anymore

[schmendrik]

7. Pipe organs sound cool in movies but rather suck hearing in real life.

Since I'm married to an organist, I'm going to defend the King of Instruments. There are good organs and bad organs, there are good players and bad players. Same as any other instrument. Based on your description of the church, you probably had both a bad organ and a bad player.

A good organist sounds pretty cool on even a half-decent instrument.

You should come here to Philly and join the crowds for the free concerts on the Wanamaker's organ (in Macy's near City Hall, originally Wanamaker's Department Store).

Oh, and about standing the whole time... I think somebody missed a cue. I've never heard of that, Presby or anyone else. It's the pastor's job to look out and say "please sit" if he/she realizes everybody is standing up.

[Pilgermann]

I must also defend organs!  I was in a good friend's wedding party and the organ at the church sounded great and mystical.  For the exit music or whatever they used the toccata from Widor's 5th symphony and it made me happy.

[meQal]

Since I'm married to an organist, I'm going to defend the King of Instruments. There are good organs and bad organs, there are good players and bad players. Same as any other instrument. Based on your description of the church, you probably had both a bad organ and a bad player.

A good organist sounds pretty cool on even a half-decent instrument.

You should come here to Philly and join the crowds for the free concerts on the Wanamaker's organ (in Macy's near City Hall, originally Wanamaker's Department Store).

Oh, and about standing the whole time... I think somebody missed a cue. I've never heard of that, Presby or anyone else. It's the pastor's job to look out and say "please sit" if he/she realizes everybody is standing up.

It may of been the organist. Granted that may of been where they were hiding the cats that p**sed in the place as well. Either way the music from the pipe organ at the wedding was horrible.
As far as the minister looking out and seeing everyone standing. He couldn't of missed all the people still standing up. There was a lot of people there and he could see us all from his vantage point. Granted there was no exit strategy for after the wedding. As soon as the wedding party left, everyone was sort of on their own. Never been to a wedding like that before either. Usually the minister tells everyone about the reception and gives the wedding party time to exit out of the sanctuary. This minister left with them leaving everyone to figure out how to get out on their own and find the reception on their own. I guess he was hungry or needed to go to the bathroom.

[Rev. Powell]

Regarding pipe organs: I think the acoustics of the room also play a large part in how the organ sounds.  Listen to an organ played in a big cathedral with lots of resonance and it will sound a fuller and more powerful than if it's played in a small room without sufficient room for the sound waves to bounce around. 

I think at my wedding I'll ask the organist to play Gene Moore's score from CARNIVAL OF SOULS. 

[The Burgomaster]

Maybe there should be a new "Skank of Honor" designation.

[ghouck]

I think at my wedding I'll ask the organist to play Gene Moore's score from CARNIVAL OF SOULS. 

I'm never getting married again, but if I did, I'd get them to play the song Dr. Phibes played in the beginning of the first movie. They'd have to play it all crazy looking also.

[meQal]

Well, before the wedding began I did mention to my wife that we should switch the sheet music to "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida".

[Hammock Rider]

I think at my wedding I'll ask the organist to play Gene Moore's score from CARNIVAL OF SOULS. 

I'm never getting married again, but if I did, I'd get them to play the song Dr. Phibes played in the beginning of the first movie. They'd have to play it all crazy looking also.

Great idea. You could get his Clockwork band to play as well.