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« on: July 02, 2009, 07:20:38 PM »

Jaws 3-D
Rated PG
1 Slime
Copyright Universal Pictures 1983
By: InformationGeek


THE CHARACTERS


Michael “Mike” Brody: Dennis Quaid!  The chief engineer for the park, the brother of Sean Brody, and he is Kathryn’s boyfriend.  He takes part in the hunt for the Great White and manages to take it out with a grenade that happens to be in the right place.

Kathryn Morgan: She is the head biologist for the park and is the girlfriend of Michael.  She seems to be more interested in the dolphins and capturing a live Great White, rather than the lives of other people.

Sean Brody: He is the brother of Michael and is Kelly Ann’s love interest.  He has a fear of the water and frankly, who can blame him?  The events of this movie sure don’t help him overcome those fears either.

Kelly Ann Bukowski: Lea Thompson!  She is a water skier that works in the park and is Sean’s main love interest.  The shark slashes her leg, but she manages to pull through.

Calvin Bouchard: Louis Gossett Jr.!  The owner of the new Sea World and is one for getting his park recognize.  Unlike the mayor from the first movie, he is more responsible when it comes down to closing the park and stopping people from getting hurt.

Philip FitzRoyce:  He is a world class hunter and a friend of Calvin.  He takes a personal interest in the shark and volunteers to help kill it.  His preference for killing it is with a grenade.  The shark, however, doesn’t give him the opportunity.  He is swallowed whole and crushed to death, I think, inside the mouth of the shark.

Jack Tate: He is Philip’s friend and partner in their hunting expedition.  He doesn’t provide much for the film.

Shelby Overman:  An employee of the park and is the first victim of the shark.  Strange, I thought the shark ate all of him, but he is found later with his head and most of his torso.

Shark: I don’t believe this one is related to the first two sharks of this series.  It’s probably some random Great White that managed to end up inside the park.  It has quite an appetite, since it manages to eat 3 people and a rubber raft in less than 24 hours.  After its baby is killed, it decides to go on a rampage and attacks everyone in the park.  It also seem to get bored rather quick since I swear it keeps yawning.  Just like the first shark, it goes boom, but with a grenade that is blown up inside its mouth.


LESSONS LEARNED
+ The most effective way to kill any shark is by blowing it up
+ Sea World needs to promote better material.
+ It is always a good to work on things underwater at night.
+ People will pay top dollar for coral.
+ Sharks like to leave no trace behind of one of their attacks.
+ Shark hunting is best done in the dark.
+ Sharks are good at pretending to sleep.
+ Sharks can swim backwards.
+ Metal gates are weak against the strength of a Great White’s tail.


STUFF TO WATCH FOR
1 min – The fish is… breathing?
5 min – They sound thrilled.
14 min – I’m pretty sure the arm bone isn’t like that.
16 min – Ladies and gentlemen, another thrilling scene from Jaws 3D!
18 min – The movie Frogs suddenly pops into my mind.
22 min – Ever get that feeling of déjà vu?
33 min – Questionable use of multiple green screens here.
36 min – Shark puppet?
37 min 48 sec – Freeze Frame!  Oh man, that is so awesomely bad.
46 min – Sharks always seem to head butt people.
51 min – Traumatize him?  You already did that by capturing him and I’m pretty sure he traumatized a bunch of people more.
53 min – So, this doesn’t remind of me Sea World with the dancing pig and stuff.
55 min – I smell a future lawsuit.
59 min – Alright, I’ll give it credit it for that spooky moment.
60 min – Ewww…
65 min – British guys are pretty tough.
67 min 12 sec – What?  You don’t feel that shark bumping your skis?  You should since it is so close.
67 min 29 sec – Morons!
71 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A SEA WORLD ATTRACTION!
78 min – Hey, it’s sunny under the water now.
80 min – The shark is yawning.
82 min – How did he get inside of the mouth of shark without any wounds?
87 min – Man, sharks are strong!
91 min 17 sec – That is so bad, that I love it!
91 min 40 sec – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A CONTROL ROOM!
93 min – You can’t get much more fake than that.


NOTABLE QUOTES
Little girl: Daddy, look at the big fish.
Dad: OH S**T!!!!

Kay: No, Overman was killed INSIDE the park, the baby was caught INSIDE the park, its mother is INSIDE the Park!


THE PLOT

Ah yes, a Jaws sequel.  Always a pleasant experience, but that’s not all!  It’s in 3 D!  Yeah, I didn’t watch it in that format, but I figure I bring it up.  This movie is also known as Jaws 3 and is one of most hated sequels of any movie.  After experiencing it, I can safely say that it isn’t as bad as number 4, but man, wasn’t this a ride!

The movie begins with us learning about a Sea World opening up being run by Calvin Bouchard and a large Great White sneaking into the park through an entrance gate that leads into the ocean.  The large park is gigantic lagoon with a bunch of rides and attractions on it, including a large underwater tunnel complex where people can observe the sea creatures in the lagoon.  We also find out that Michael Brody is now working for the park as the chief engineer and is living with his girlfriend, Kathryn Morgan.  His brother, Sean Brody, is coming into town and Philip FitzRoyce & Jake Tate, professional hunters, have come to the park as invited guests.

We cut away to later that day with Shelby Overman, an employee of the park, repairing the gate that shark came through.  Said shark shows up and eats him, leaving behind an arm, which is used very obviously for the 3D gimmick.  More scenes continue with us meeting Kelly Ann Bukowski, a water skier and main love interest for Sean, who is flirting with Sean at a restaurant with his brother and there two hapless criminals trying to steal coral from the lagoon.  You already guessed it, and your right, the shark gets the two guys.  Heck, it even gets there rubber boat.  No need to leave evidence behind I suppose.

The next day, it is discover that Shelby is missing and they assume he drowned somewhere in the lagoon, since he is known for getting drunk and passing out in work.  Why even have the guy around?  Michael and Kathryn decide to search the lagoon in a mini-sub.  At this point, we see some of the worse use of green screen ever as the sub moves throughout the lagoon.  Might have been a 3D gimmick, but it was sure bad.  So, the two of them decide to check out the fake sunk ship in the lagoon to see if Shelby floated this way.  They are suddenly attack by the shark, which looks more like hand puppet, and are force to swim away.  At this point, the shark now has turned into a real one, so it is much more convincing now.   Luckily, two trained dolphins manage to take them to safety.  Yah for Flipper’s cousins!

Michael and Kathryn inform Calvin about the appearance of the shark.  Philip & Jake offer to kill the beast for Calvin as some sort of publicity, but Kathryn proposes that they actually capture and contain the beast, so they can be the first ever people to have a Great White in captivity.  There’s a very good reason why Great White aren’t kept in captivity or why people shouldn’t try.   Ah yes, an idiotic moment from a supposedly smart person.  What bad movie would be complete with one?  Calvin agrees to let them capture the shark and everyone pitches in to help.

During the night, they find and capture the shark.  What I find strange about it is that the shark is surprisingly very small despite eating 3 people and a rubber raft in the span of less than a day.  They take it back to their base to study and observe it, while the next day Sea World opens up to the public.  Tons of people flood the park and are eager to explore it, but I can’t help but think the lunch bell has rung for the shark.

Everything seems to be going alright, with people checking out the Undersea Kingdom (Which is the underwater tunnel complex) and Sean and Kelly Ann are riding the bumper boats.  Calvin has the shark put on display for the public, but it dies abruptly.  Well… that was anticlimactic for a shark movie.  But back with Undersea Kingdom attraction, Overman’s body is discovered floating around and it is brought back to the base to be examined.  Kathryn and Michael make a shocking discovery while looking at the body and rush to find Calvin.  Meanwhile, we also learn that something has back up the filtration system in one of pipes.  Guess who?

Michael and Kathryn arrive at an underwater bar where Calvin, Philip, and Jake are at.  They tell them about finding Overman and telling them it was indeed a shark that killed him, but it was most likely the mother of the shark they had, which they predict is about 35 ft long.  They spot the shark in water outside the bar and immediately begin to try to shut down the park.  Calvin tries to get everyone out of the Undersea Kingdom; Jake, Philip, and Kathryn rush to get everyone out of lagoon; and Michael tries to stop the water ski show.

The shark begins its descendent on the water skiers, but they luckily pulled out of the water.  The shark then starts attacking the bumper boats and bites down on Kelly Ann’s leg.  Jake and Philip manage to pull her out of the water in time.  Calvin contacts the people in Undersea Kingdom to start leaving, but the shark appears and starts attacking it.  People are forced to take cover in one of the undersea rooms and are sealed in to prevent water from pouring in after the shark springs a large leak.

It turns to night again and everyone has come up with a plan to save the people in the Undersea Kingdom.  Philip & Jake will lure the shark back into the filtration pipe and seal her in, Kathryn & Michael will patch up the hole in the attraction, and Calvin will monitor and give directions from the underwater control room.  Philip manages to lure the shark back into the pipe, with Jake sealing it in, but Philip is swallowed whole by the shark and crush to death inside the mouth. Though it could’ve been that he bled out, because there was a bunch of blood inside the mouth of the shark as well.

The shark then breaks out of the filtration pipe and goes after Michael and Kathryn, who have finished fixing the hole.  The two dolphins from earlier save them in the nick of time by providing a distraction for the shark.  The two of them manage to safely swim back to the control room.  Once inside, Calvin opens up the Undersea Kingdom again, allowing people to safely leave without trouble.  Then, in the most surreal and so bad, that it is awesome, scene I have ever witness, the shark slowly swims towards the control.  It is done with a model shark that is slowly moved towards the camera behind a blue screen, since you can kind of see the shadow outline around the shark.  The tail never moves and neither does the mouth until it breaks through the glass, but even then, the mouth opens at least one inch.

So the shark smashes through the control room window (I think Calvin should’ve sprung for better Plexiglas if it breaks so easily) and it bites down on one of the workers in the room. Calvin grabs the other worker and swims to safety with her, while Michael and Kathryn are left to face down the shark.  However, they notice inside the mouth of the shark is Philip’s body, which I’m surprise the shark didn’t swallow already.  They notice in the dead man’s hand is a grenade (he always carries one of those in case you are wondering) and decide to use it to their advantage.  They manage to pull the pin on grenade and swim away enough for the shark to explode into a bunch of bones and organs.  With the shark dead, they swim to the top to celebrate.  Once there, they discover that the dolphins are still alive and Kathryn rejoices happily.  Yah, many people were brutally killed by the shark, but at least the dolphins are alright.

I don’t know about this one.  The movie was indeed very bad, but it wasn’t extremely terrible.  The good stuff from the movie was the soundtrack, which always seems to me to be one of best things of any Jaws film.  The acting was good, but Gossett’s acting seemed a bit stiff.  The overall idea of the plot was pretty neat, with a shark sneaking into a water park and causing terror among the workers and customers.  Though it wasn’t very suspenseful and it was often very boring sadly.

As for the bad, I think it can be broken down into three very large factors with the first one being the 3D gimmick for the movie.  I truly believe this movie was only made in 3D because no one would have seen it, despite being a Jaws film.  The effects for the 3D were downright awful and unbelievably fake.  The second and what I think is the most damaging for the film is the overall setting.  The movie takes place inside of Sea World and I help but notice a lot of it seems like an overall promotion to come to parks with them showing off a lot of things that go on it.  It’s like one big wet dream for a park executive.  The third and the most obvious of them all would be the shark scenes themselves.  The shark’s appearance goes all over with it looking like toy, to a real shark, and then to a model.  The attack scenes are stiff and not shot well, with the biggest one being when the shark attacked Philip.  It is just disjointed and badly edited.

Overall though, it wasn’t a gigantic train wreck of a movie, unlike number 4 was.  Heck, I somewhat enjoyed it and I probably sit through it a couple more times without growing enraged.  However, this movie is certainly a stinker and should not be watched by anyone other than a diehard Jaws fan or a b-movie fan.
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« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2009, 01:05:39 PM »

Good review IG!  Thumbup

I must say that I really love this film and think that the 3-D angle was interesting, even though this film was only made to make more money. Plus it was 1983, an back then, those effacts probably came across a whole lot better in the cinema. I love anything with huge sharks, but this film is the daddy. The shark is 35+ feet in length and is not CGI, so it's always been win-win with me. I don't care that it's not totally realistic, again, it was 1983 and they did a hell of a job IMO. I mean, nobody these days attempts to make big-budget shark films, it's just all these Z-grade snooze-fests filled with "actors" made of plywood.

I always remembered the scene where the dude was fixing the fence and gets chomped, then later bits of his body pop up at a glass window. Scared me to death a small kid. I also love the part in the pipe, where they try to trap the shark.


Two points though from "Lessons I Learned";

+ Shark hunting is best done in the dark. - Actually true, as sharks (in particular, Great Whites) are more active at night.

+ Metal gates are weak against the strength of a Great White’s tail. - Considering it's a great white that is 35ft in length, I'd say that's highly possible, also depending on the metal.

 TeddyR

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