Smelling Your Own Farts

[meQal]

Oh I've learned to fear the female fart.  Its enough to peel pain off walls.

I live with 3 females and they are the gassiest beings on the planet. I tell them that if they keep it up the UN is going to send inspectors seeking to enforce a ban of airborne biological weapons on them.

[Mr. DS]

Taking off on Java's public restroom comment, there was only one time I couldn't hack the smell of a public restroom.  I walked in and the lingering scent was like a wall.  You could almost feel it in the air and it attacked all senses.  I stayed for one second thinking I could do my business and leave but no way.  I give kudos to that person if they are still in fact alive after laying that deuce. 

[RCMerchant]

Yer a sick,sick man.

 

[Dennis]

When I first saw this topic I was afraid that Ash would be a speaking about something with a much deeper philosophical/metaphysical meaning than one would think from reading the title, I was relieved to discover that "Smelling Your Own Farts" is exactly what it says it is, so much for philosophy.
I don't purposely set out to experience the aroma of my own flatulence, on the occasions that I have I found them to be fairly innocuous, however other people have told me "Leave the room if you're going to do that". My wife does something she refers to as  "SBD", silent but deadly.  Whenever she mentions this I equate her SBD with the Douglas Aircraft Company's SBD Dauntless divebomber of WWII, both can kill you, one's just faster than the other. The most potent gaseous emissions that I have experienced lately have been from our Beagles, while they seemingly revel in the scent of their own noxious miasma my wife and I turn green and gag. Our two cats have actually been driven from the house to the far corner of the yard by the stench, fortunately it only happens occasionally.

[3mnkids]

I cant smell mine because i never fart   

[Mr. DS]

I cant smell mine because i never fart   

May we speak to someone who lives with you?

[AndyC]

Just out of curiosity are there certain foods that do it for all of you? 

Other than the usual baked beans, chili, etc., Nabisco Shreddies give me huge farts which thankfully have little odour.

Some of the worst farts I've had were on the day after a long night of drinking. Go to a stag party, toss back a bunch of beer and rye, throw in a sandwich of summer sausage, onions and cheese - the resulting gas doesn't even smell like it should be coming out of a person. I can think of one occasion when I was 18, polishing off a 26oz. bottle of grain alcohol and a pile of junkfood over the course of an afternoon and evening at a friend's house. Woke up the next day with farts that could best be described as a junkfood horrorfest.

But under normal circumstances, I find my own farts kind of pleasant. My wife, however, would disagree.

[ChuckSplatt]

This relates to an old George Carlin skit. <fart> "My God, that's fairly decent."
although sometime he said "It's not the smell, it's the burning of my eyes."

Anytime I enjoy a shrimp garlic pizza I get to enjoy the smell the next day, if you know what I mean.

One time I unleashed a horrendous huge fart in an elevator (with nobody else in it) and when I got off the elevator the 3 people I dislike the most in my former office got into the elevator. Revenge is a dish best served cold. MUUUWHOOHAHAAAHAAAA

[Ash]

Along these lines, am I the only one who takes pride in stinking up a public bathroom so bad that when other guys walk in, they either groan or make a disgusted sound?  I feel like I have given them something to tell their buddies at their next beerfest: 

I get totally paranoid when I have to take a dump in a public restroom.  It isn't the fear of germs, it's having other people smell my crap and hear the noises.
I've even tried to time it so that no one is in the restroom when I go.  But, sure enough, someone always walks in.

I'm a big supporter of the courtesy flush and do it everytime I'm in a public place.    

[Jack]

One time when I was in school, and used to party pretty heavily, the next morning a couple of us drove to a gas station and when we were walking around outside, well, that's probably my record for stinkiest fart ever.  Like sticking your nose right in the end of a sewer pipe.  It filled an area about 20' X 20', outside. 

[3mnkids]

I cant smell mine because i never fart   

May we speak to someone who lives with you?

   They're busy smelling each others farts and laughing their asses off right now. Sometimes i think they must have been switched at birth.

[Mr. DS]

A night of beer drinking will rip apart my intestines so that the next morning I find myself quaranteend by the family.  Other than that for me its certain fruits (berries in general) and things with heavy sauce on it (certain Subway sandwiches) that kill my innards.  

[Javakoala]

Along these lines, am I the only one who takes pride in stinking up a public bathroom so bad that when other guys walk in, they either groan or make a disgusted sound?  I feel like I have given them something to tell their buddies at their next beerfest: 

I get totally paranoid when I have to take a dump in a public restroom.  It isn't the fear of germs, it's having other people smell my crap and hear the noises.
I've even tried to time it so that no one is in the restroom when I go.  But, sure enough, someone always walks in.

I'm a big supporter of the courtesy flush and do it everytime I'm in a public place.    

I am very much like you most of the time, but there are days I just plain feel like a mean, little, sneaky s**t.

[Trevor]

When I rip a good one, I lean back and take a good whiff.
If I'm laying down on the couch and blow a giant fart, I use my hand to wave it towards me to get a nice sniff.

My farts smell awesome!   

How about you?
Do you like the smell of your own farts?

 

I'm going to give you +1 karma every day from Tuesday until Friday for cheering me up, Ash. 

And no, I don't like smelling my own farts. You all know the state of my underpants, how could you want something worse? 

[Trevor]

When I was screening films in Bloemfontein in July, our venue ~ very smart and neat ~ had public access toilets on either side of it. Late in the evening and early in the morning you did not dare to go in there and strike a match to light a smoke. Trust me, you did not want to do that. 

I didn't go to the ladies' side but the gents...... yikes. What the hell were those guys eating? The smell was enough to make my skin melt.