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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  TV Family Wars « previous next »
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Author Topic: TV Family Wars  (Read 1421 times)
The Burgomaster
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« on: December 07, 2009, 04:51:32 PM »

Re-run Rumble: Part I

Bradfords vs. Bradys


The bell rings, and Greg Brady wastes no time streaking into action with a flying drop-kick into Tommy Bradford's chest.  Everyone is stunned for a moment at this unexpectedly aggressive opening move, giving Bobby Brady a great opportunity to lift Nicholas Bradford straight over his head and then slam young Bradford's spine down over Bobby's knee.  Nicholas rolls over into a ditch and appears to be out of commission.

Marcia, Jan, and Cindy join hands "Red Rover" style and run full force into the middle of the Bradford girls, knocking Joanie, Susan, and Elizabeth Bradford to the ground.  Mary Bradford counters by smashing Jan on the back of her skull with a Kendo stick, knocking her eyeglasses off.

Meanwhile Greg has Tommy in a headlock, allowing Peter to kick Tommy repeatedly in the face.  Like greased lightning, David Bradford dives into the fray, grabs Greg by his permed curls, and smashes his head repeatedly against a brick wall.  Greg crumbles to the ground and David turns his attention to Peter, who is running away like a coward.  David chases Peter, but Bobby steps out of the shadows and tacckles David's legs.  David's jaw hits the pavement and he's out like a light.

At the same time, the girls are pounding the hell out of each other, with the Bradfords (especially Nancy) proving that the weaker Brady girls are no match for them.  Cindy gets tossed aside like a rag-doll, Jan is body-slammed to the pavement, and Marcia is hit in the nose with a football, ruining her chances to get a date for the prom.

The Bradfords stumble toward their corner and embrace each other lovingly.  Cousin Jeremy joins them and they all "high five" each other as the "Eight is Enough" theme song plays over the P.A. system.

So, the Bradfords take Round 1 of this double elimination tournament. 

 
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retrorussell
I am APOCALYPSE, mutant! And.. um.. well hello there!
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Howdy sugah!


« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2009, 04:06:56 AM »

Does the Partridge Family get an invite to the tournament?  Or the Waltons?
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The Burgomaster
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« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2009, 07:11:44 AM »

Does the Partridge Family get an invite to the tournament?  Or the Waltons?

Sure . . . I was hoping someone else would jump in and write the next battle!

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The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2009, 11:24:23 AM »

Re-run Rumble: Part II

Partridge Family vs. Waltons


The bell rings and Keith Partridge takes a bold step toward the Walton family.  Jim Bob, swinging a huge plank that his father produced at the Walton's saw-mill, says, "Good night, John Boy," and wallops Keith across the forehead.  Keith tumbles backward, knocking his brothers and sisters into their band equipment (causing a loud crash of cymbals).  The family, and the equipment, cascade over the edge of a cliff and plummet 500 feet to their doom.  Jeremy Gelbwaks, the original Chris Partridge, emerges from the audience and says, "Looks like I got out of that series while the gettin' was good."

« Last Edit: December 14, 2009, 10:52:22 AM by The Burgomaster » Logged

"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
retrorussell
I am APOCALYPSE, mutant! And.. um.. well hello there!
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 972
Posts: 8535


Howdy sugah!


« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2009, 04:08:37 PM »

Nice, Burgo!
Sorry I can't really write these stories too well.. the family comedies I tended to tune out a bit.. couldn't remember all the cast members and didn't watch many episodes.. but it is enjoyable to read about them beating the snot out of each other.   TeddyR
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