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October 19, 2014, 11:35:48 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today « previous next »
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Author Topic: Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today  (Read 4860 times)
Mr. DS
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« on: December 10, 2009, 12:51:31 PM »

What is the funniest thing you've said today to another person.  My entry for today...

"The Hoff can't die, he's immortal..."

In reaction to a coworker's claim the Hoff is near death. 
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« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2009, 01:06:23 PM »

I was out in the main office today looking for a glue stick and went over to a corner of the room where three othere guys sit. I asked them if they had any spare and one guy said: "I bet you like to lick things, don't you?"

He then bent over to look in his draw infront of the other two dudes, with his butt crack showing, to which I announced: "yeah, but I'm not licking that!"
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Saucerman
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« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2009, 01:26:50 PM »

I actually haven't spoken since I woke up today, four and a half hours ago.  Pretty funny, huh?
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El Misfit
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« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2009, 07:54:47 PM »

 bah
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yeah no.
indianasmith
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« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2009, 11:52:23 PM »

I dropped my pen in front of my seventh graders today and said:

"Oh, Monkey Nostrils!"
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« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2009, 08:42:37 AM »

My wife never closes ziploc bags.  She says it's because they're not made for left handed people.  Yeah, she's a little comedian.  I told her that next time she's in the supermarket, she should ask one of the people there if they have any ziploc bags made for left handed people.
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Trevor
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« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2009, 09:05:16 AM »

I have two films that I had to check the credits for as they are coming out on DVD soon and I have a habit of checking the actual films for credit info, etc.

I was checking Hans en Die Rooinek [Sidney and The Boer] about an hour ago and after winding it carefully through the viewing table, I saw something was wrong. My entire comment was "Oh ******! Why is it ****** backwards?"

Answer: because Trevor forgot to re-wind it first.  Lookingup
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Trevor
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« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2009, 09:06:08 AM »

I dropped my pen in front of my seventh graders today and said:

"Oh, Monkey Nostrils!"

 BounceGiggle TeddyR
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ER
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« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2009, 05:33:01 PM »

To my mom: "Since you keep losing your car keys, wouldn't it easier on you if you just started leaving them inside your car?"


To a ditzy sales clerk: "That's like looking for a virgin in Las Vegas."


To my friend: "If those four leaf clovers are so lucky, why are they dead and pressed inside your wallet?"
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« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2009, 02:19:14 AM »

(in response to a coworker claiming to be a sex addict, and going into therapy for it) "Well...couldn't you just wear mittens?"
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hellbilly
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« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2009, 04:11:33 AM »

"KGB destroyed Lennon's remains"

I said that after reading out the "Official: KGB destroyed Hitler's remains" CNN story and a silly CNN quiz-blurb regarding Lennon's death.

Tasteless and dumb, maybe. But everybody laughed so it was kind of funny.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2009, 04:16:04 AM by hellbilly » Logged
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« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2009, 02:47:52 AM »

I had this conversation with a coworker:

Me: Hey, what's the word?
Her: Hyperbole.
Me: Hyperbole?
Her: Yeah, hyperbole. That seems like a good word. Hyperbole.
Me: Eh. It's not all it's built up to be.

Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week!
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ER
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« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2009, 01:58:21 PM »

"For crying out loud, no, you are NOT buying him marijuana for Christmas. He's in college, so try to think of some sort of 'green' present. Oh. Well, yeah, but still, you know what I meant."
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« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2009, 02:13:12 PM »

"He looks like a sex offender with the skull of a goat"
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Andrew
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« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2009, 02:14:37 PM »

Garrett, stop trying to write on the cat with the chalk.
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