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October 21, 2017, 11:05:48 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today « previous next »
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Author Topic: Whats The Funniest Thing You've Said Today  (Read 6962 times)
Trevor
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« Reply #45 on: January 27, 2010, 06:38:13 AM »

And one from Dan: "I shall now fart non-stop."

 Buggedout Buggedout Buggedout BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
The Burgomaster
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« Reply #46 on: January 27, 2010, 06:50:50 AM »

While I was having my cardiac catheterization last week, the cardiologist asked me how I was doing.  I responded, "Great!  They should make this a ride at Disney World."
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Trevor
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« Reply #47 on: January 27, 2010, 07:12:38 AM »

While I was having my cardiac catheterization last week, the cardiologist asked me how I was doing.  I responded, "Great!  They should make this a ride at Disney World."

I don't know if I should laugh at that because it's a serious matter but  TeddyR TeddyR

Isn't it amazing how doctors always seem to ask you how you are? My usual reply to mine is if I knew how I was, I wouldn't be here.  Lookingup
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
The Burgomaster
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« Reply #48 on: January 28, 2010, 09:10:08 AM »

This morning I went to cardiac rehab for the first time.  The nurse said, "Remember, no sex for about a month."  I said, "Thank you.  That's more frequently than I usually get it."

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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
Trevor
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« Reply #49 on: January 28, 2010, 09:14:47 AM »

This morning I went to cardiac rehab for the first time.  The nurse said, "Remember, no sex for about a month."  I said, "Thank you.  That's more frequently than I usually get it."

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #50 on: January 28, 2010, 11:51:11 AM »

This morning I went to cardiac rehab for the first time.  The nurse said, "Remember, no sex for about a month."  I said, "Thank you.  That's more frequently than I usually get it."


Do you think she was coming on to you?  Wink
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
AndyC
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« Reply #51 on: January 28, 2010, 02:19:08 PM »

Daughter: "That's a little bit funny."

Wife: "What's a little bit funny?"

Me: "This feeling inside."
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Psycho Circus
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« Reply #52 on: January 28, 2010, 02:20:33 PM »

"He punched me in the ass, because I changed his head".
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El Misfit
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Hi there!


« Reply #53 on: January 28, 2010, 06:27:30 PM »

WAFFLES!
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yeah no.
Psycho Circus
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« Reply #54 on: January 29, 2010, 07:32:38 AM »

WAFFLES!

Waffles, Mardi Gras, Voodoo, stale stuff...

Yeah, yeah, we get it. "FunnyLookingup
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Trevor
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« Reply #55 on: January 29, 2010, 07:52:46 AM »

"He punched me in the ass, because I changed his head".

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Psycho Circus
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Karma: 1531
Posts: 12049


Shake The Faith


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« Reply #56 on: January 29, 2010, 07:56:27 AM »

"He punched me in the ass, because I changed his head".

 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

There's a guy I work with and he has pictures up of him and his son in our office. So, I kept cutting all these different people's heads out of magazines and sticking them over his head.
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Trevor
South African Film Activist & Troublemaker at Badmovies.org
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Posts: 14345



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« Reply #57 on: January 29, 2010, 07:57:24 AM »

"I've got to go take a crap."

the sensation of gas building in my guts goes away.

"Then again, maybe not. I guess I'll just go sit on the toilet and see what happens."

 Buggedout BuggedoutTeddyR TeddyR TeddyR
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Vane
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narnia is like compton


« Reply #58 on: January 29, 2010, 01:17:56 PM »

I was walking through the woods the other day (so its not today... sue me) it was a really beautiful area and my friend dubbed these woods - Narnia -  Promptly after he made his declaration i was slapped in the face by a thorn bush. My response was
" Narnia is like Compton "
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i am the walrus
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« Reply #59 on: January 29, 2010, 11:38:43 PM »

"I am so far out to sea on this all I see is plankton"
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
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