DISCLAIMER: This is not a sob story. I'm not writing this for sympathy; just for background and dramatic effect. I mean, it's not like I'm quitting cocaine or anything.
I've had a long going love affair with caffeine. Started when my brother put Coke in my bottle at age 3 and told me it was called "p**s." Later that day, I had a conversation with my dad:
Dad: What you drinking there?
Me: p**s!
It got my brother in trouble, but it also got me hooked on a sweet stimulant that I never was able to, or even wanted to, kick.
I first learned I was caffeine addicted when I had my first surgery to take out my cyst in 1997. I thought that my headaches and fatigue were coming from the failed spinal block injection. I went to the hospital, the hooked me up on an IV, and gave me two choices:
1) Either they've botched the spinal block from the surgery, and will have to drawn blood and painfully inject it onto my spine for it to coagulate,
or
2) I'm having caffeine withdrawals, and they're going to have my father run down stairs and pick me up a double shot latte.
It wasn't a hard decision.
After drinking the latte, I felt better. Any time I had withdrawals I fought them off with a Mountain Dew or a Pepsi or anything else that can be called a caffeine fist-f**k. Where some people might drink maybe a can of soda a day, I drink somewhere from 4-6 cans a day, not to mention bottles that I purchase at work. Saving money would be one perk of this venture.
Two years ago, I began to have severe lightheadedness and chest pains, both on separate occasions. Nothing severe, but I wanted to make sure that they weren't anything like cancer or one of the many heart disorders. I was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks. Doctor said it was from drinking so much caffeine.
I brought it on myself. I told myself to stop drinking it, but how it feels like I'm developing ADHD-like symptoms. I lack focus, I slur my speech now more than ever, I feel lethargic, my brain feels like it's full of constant static, I feel like I get agitated more easily, and I went from being a tiger in the bed to a three-toed sloth.
After doing some research and being tired of the above symptoms, I've decided to end my affair with caffeine. I realize that there's a chance that some of the above may not be related to caffeine, but I still feel like it's the right thing to do.
I'm not going cold turkey. I've felt the effects of that before. I think I'm going to go for a nice weaning method. I did almost quit that way once, and I felt great afterward.
I guess there's nothing else to say except the cliche
wish me luck.
