RED ZONE CUBA:
CROW: You know, Coleman Francis would make a very lumpy mattress.
The Crawling Hand:
[Paul and Marta are engaged in a passionate embrace on the beach.]
Crow: Hey! Is this From Here to Eternity?
Servo: No, it just seems like an eternity.
Radar Men From The Moon Part 6:
[Joel and the Bots watch exactly the same opening credits they've seen five times before.]
Servo: It is sort of hypnotic, isn't it?
Crow: Hip? Not. Ick!
Bob Steele: That's the worst part about it — she… she dies in a strange place without friends or anybody, and nobody even knows her name.
Crow: She shoulda died at Cheers — then everyone woulda known her name.
[Bob and Greta the White Goddess are in a tough spot.]
Bob: [sarcastic] White goddess having trouble?
Crow: White fascist getting smart?
Gamera vs. Guiron:
[The movie credits show: © MCMLXIX DAIEI CO. LTD.]
Servo: [singing to the Nestlé's jingle] M-C-M-L-X-I-X / Daiei makes the very best
Joel: [singing] Movies — NOT!
[Teacher Miss Martin demonstates good posture by walking slowly and stately.]
Narrator: ...eyes are straight, the abdomen is in, the back is straight. Arms swing easily at the sides.
Servo [as Narrator]: Here, she re-enacts her first DUI.
Master Ninja I:
[Max and the Master set off for adventure in Max's custom-painted van.]
Max: Now for the fun part...riding with a ninja.
Servo: We'll be the judge of that.
Crow [as TV announcer]: Chevy Van: A Quinn Martin production.
Max: We're being followed!
Servo [as the Master]: Of course we are! We're in an action-packed, made-for-tv movie!
[The van makes a sharp left.]
Crow [as the Master]: Quick! Take a turn here on Steven J. Cannell Boulevard!
Max: Don't tell me why they're following us. I like surprises.
Crow: Well, here's a surprise...you're already cancelled!