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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 398476 times)
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
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Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #45 on: February 08, 2010, 02:59:50 AM »

Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm (short):

Narrator (as kids are standing in front of a tall row of corn): Everything seems to be growing.  When George arrived at the farm the corn was knee-high.  Now it's taller than he is.
Servo: George is clearly shrinking.

[a boy is shown eating a sandwich]
Tom Servo: Mmm, good, white, hearty white bread for white, white people!

Pumaman:

Kobras: [who's played by Donald Pleasance] Comb the area! Find him!
Crow: Donald's only use for the word "comb".. right there.

Kobras: Because you are made of earth...
Crow: [as Kobras] Corn grows in you.
Kobras: ...and to earth you shall return!
Mike Nelson: Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.

[Watching Puma Man "fly"]
Mike Nelson: He has the power to rear-project major cities.

Villain: Everybody who goes there doesn't talk!
Crow: So nobody who DOESN'T go there doesn't NOT talk?
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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Zapranoth
Eye of Sauron and
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« Reply #46 on: February 15, 2010, 11:05:20 AM »

Trevor, I thought about that eyyyyyyyye on the sammich line too.  ("Mitchell")   hot

Mine,

1.   This Island Earth:  "I suddenly seem to have acquired a minty green flavor."
2.   Cave Dwellers:  (the main character is flying a hang glider) "You're gonna be my regular Saturday night thing."  (of course a line cadged from Road House)
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retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #47 on: February 17, 2010, 05:03:51 AM »

Bloodlust:

(Kid motions fellow boat crew over, pointing at land offscreen):
Crow: Look!  Water!  Lots of it!

(Crew playfully looks for treasure on island)
Nerdy guy: My intuition tells me that Captain Kidd buried his treasure over there! (points directly to his left, where a girl is standing next to him)
Mike: In her bra?!

Girl: I'm scared!
Nerdy guy: Nothing to be scared about, I'll be right here with ya!
Mike: (as girl) My point exactly.

(Nerdy guy and girl investigate island mansion)
Crow: Indiana Nerd and the Temple of Dork!

Dean Gerrard: Someone will have to try to swim out to the mainland and get help.
Nerdy guy: I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'll try.
Mike: You ain't much of ANYTHING.
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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #48 on: February 17, 2010, 08:22:06 AM »

One word: ROWSDOWER!!!  Buggedout Buggedout


Pipper: McGregor! Troy McGregor? Thomas' son?
Troy: Yeah! Did you know him?
Tom Servo: Know him? He was delicious!

Crow: [the villian is praying] God bless mommy, and daddy, and grandpa, and all of my evil henchmen.

Rowsdower: Their people ruled this land once.
Mike Nelson: They ruled this one acre for about a week. Nobody knew.

[Rowsdower pours booze over his tattooed arm]
Tom Servo: Have a drink on me, tattoo.

Tom Servo: [as Satoris] Ow! You shot my butt! What the hell, you SHOT me in the BUTT!
[Satoris starts burning]
Crow: So Mike, most humans, when you shoot 'em in the butt, they burst into flames?
Mike Nelson: Uh, I dunno.
Crow: Can we try it? Turn around.

Crow T. Robot: [seeing the company name Greidanus] He comes from a long line of great anuses.

 Buggedout BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

« Last Edit: February 17, 2010, 08:36:44 AM by Trevor » Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #49 on: February 17, 2010, 10:40:38 PM »

I just saw "The Final Sacrifice" for the first time!  Wow, what a boring film.. thank God it was the MST3K version I saw.  The first and last film to have somebody named Zap Rowsdower! TeddyR
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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Posts: 12884


Hi there!


« Reply #50 on: February 17, 2010, 11:11:55 PM »

I just saw "The Final Sacrifice" for the first time!  Wow, what a boring film.. thank God it was the MST3K version I saw.  The first and last film to have somebody named Zap Rowsdower! TeddyR

but it's only the last name  TeddyR
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yeah no.
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #51 on: February 18, 2010, 12:25:37 AM »

Troy's man-crush dreams involve being named Mr. Troy Rowsdower someday.

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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #52 on: February 18, 2010, 03:39:58 AM »

Troy's man-crush dreams involve being named Mr. Troy Rowsdower someday.




 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle


"Rowsdower? Could you put my head out? Thanks."  Wink TeddyR
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12884


Hi there!


« Reply #53 on: February 19, 2010, 06:40:39 PM »

from Pod People
little brat (forgot the name): Trumpy, you can do magic
Tom: It's called evil, kid
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yeah no.
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #54 on: February 19, 2010, 10:45:36 PM »

from Pod People
little brat (forgot the name): Trumpy, you can do magic
Tom: It's called evil, kid
The kid was named Tommy.

(Hunter starts smashing alien eggs by beating them with stick)
Crow: Aw, what is he, an L.A. cop?

(Tommy, running outside, stumbles)
Crow: Ew, Trumpy, gross..
Tom Servo: Tommy stepped in some Trumpy dumpy!

Servo: Even the movie "The Fog" didn't have this much fog!

Joel: Pod People got no reason to live.

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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #55 on: February 20, 2010, 01:07:42 PM »

THE WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN:

CROW: They just placed a bunch of movies together in a blender and pushed the mix button.

[camera focuses on wiggling posteriors of go-go-dancing batgirls]

MIKE: Wow, that's 40 pounds of butt in 30 pound butt-capacity pants!
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #56 on: March 04, 2010, 03:28:19 AM »

More Final Sacrifice:

(Troy leans into Rowsdower's driver window as he tries to start the truck)
Rowsdower: C'mon baby, don't let me down.
Servo (as Troy): I won't, Rowsdower!

Rowsdower: You stay here while I go get us some water.
Troy: I'll go.
Crow (as Troy): Can you carry me?

Rowsdower: (panting, after escaping bad guys): They were calling me!
Mike (as Troy): Wow.. nobody ever calls ME.

(Pipper draws map)
Mike: (as Pipper): Here's the plan: my army of trained rats will lead the charge and my scabies will protect our flank.

Mike (as Pipper, to Rowsdower): Made ya some trail mix out of rat droppings and hair!

(Film title appears during opening credits)
Servo: Aw.. can I have just one more sacrifice before we go?
Mike: Okay, okay, but this is the FINAL sacrifice.
Servo: Goody goody!

Troy (asking about his dad, to his mom): Am I like him?
Mike (as mom): No, he was masculine and likable.

Rowsdower: (talking to Troy about the men that have been chasing them): It's a cult.
Servo: They worship blue oysters.
Logged

"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #57 on: March 08, 2010, 02:39:10 PM »

"Trumpy! You can do stupid things!"

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retrorussell
In the town of Valentine Bluffs, there are many ways to die. Take your pick.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1189
Posts: 9579


Hanniger! I'll be waiting in HELL for you!


« Reply #58 on: March 08, 2010, 10:35:45 PM »

More Batwoman:

Mike: I have a feeling Satan would regret making this movie.

Mike: (as Ratfink lurks outside ) There's a peeping Zorro outside.

Mike: It's like a Warhol movie, except it's kinda weird.

(seeing a buxom dancer)
Crow: Hey, turn down the highbeams!
Tom: Think she rafts much? Wow!
Logged

"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #59 on: March 11, 2010, 08:19:55 PM »

Roses are blue
Violets are red
I like to shoot heroin
right into my head
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