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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 154642 times)
retrorussell
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« Reply #45 on: February 08, 2010, 02:59:50 AM »

Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm (short):

Narrator (as kids are standing in front of a tall row of corn): Everything seems to be growing.  When George arrived at the farm the corn was knee-high.  Now it's taller than he is.
Servo: George is clearly shrinking.

[a boy is shown eating a sandwich]
Tom Servo: Mmm, good, white, hearty white bread for white, white people!

Pumaman:

Kobras: [who's played by Donald Pleasance] Comb the area! Find him!
Crow: Donald's only use for the word "comb".. right there.

Kobras: Because you are made of earth...
Crow: [as Kobras] Corn grows in you.
Kobras: ...and to earth you shall return!
Mike Nelson: Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.

[Watching Puma Man "fly"]
Mike Nelson: He has the power to rear-project major cities.

Villain: Everybody who goes there doesn't talk!
Crow: So nobody who DOESN'T go there doesn't NOT talk?
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Zapranoth
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« Reply #46 on: February 15, 2010, 11:05:20 AM »

Trevor, I thought about that eyyyyyyyye on the sammich line too.  ("Mitchell")   hot

Mine,

1.   This Island Earth:  "I suddenly seem to have acquired a minty green flavor."
2.   Cave Dwellers:  (the main character is flying a hang glider) "You're gonna be my regular Saturday night thing."  (of course a line cadged from Road House)
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retrorussell
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« Reply #47 on: February 17, 2010, 05:03:51 AM »

Bloodlust:

(Kid motions fellow boat crew over, pointing at land offscreen):
Crow: Look!  Water!  Lots of it!

(Crew playfully looks for treasure on island)
Nerdy guy: My intuition tells me that Captain Kidd buried his treasure over there! (points directly to his left, where a girl is standing next to him)
Mike: In her bra?!

Girl: I'm scared!
Nerdy guy: Nothing to be scared about, I'll be right here with ya!
Mike: (as girl) My point exactly.

(Nerdy guy and girl investigate island mansion)
Crow: Indiana Nerd and the Temple of Dork!

Dean Gerrard: Someone will have to try to swim out to the mainland and get help.
Nerdy guy: I'm not much of a swimmer, but I'll try.
Mike: You ain't much of ANYTHING.
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Trevor
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« Reply #48 on: February 17, 2010, 08:22:06 AM »

One word: ROWSDOWER!!!  Buggedout Buggedout


Pipper: McGregor! Troy McGregor? Thomas' son?
Troy: Yeah! Did you know him?
Tom Servo: Know him? He was delicious!

Crow: [the villian is praying] God bless mommy, and daddy, and grandpa, and all of my evil henchmen.

Rowsdower: Their people ruled this land once.
Mike Nelson: They ruled this one acre for about a week. Nobody knew.

[Rowsdower pours booze over his tattooed arm]
Tom Servo: Have a drink on me, tattoo.

Tom Servo: [as Satoris] Ow! You shot my butt! What the hell, you SHOT me in the BUTT!
[Satoris starts burning]
Crow: So Mike, most humans, when you shoot 'em in the butt, they burst into flames?
Mike Nelson: Uh, I dunno.
Crow: Can we try it? Turn around.

Crow T. Robot: [seeing the company name Greidanus] He comes from a long line of great anuses.

 Buggedout BounceGiggle BounceGiggle

« Last Edit: February 17, 2010, 08:36:44 AM by Trevor » Logged

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
retrorussell
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« Reply #49 on: February 17, 2010, 10:40:38 PM »

I just saw "The Final Sacrifice" for the first time!  Wow, what a boring film.. thank God it was the MST3K version I saw.  The first and last film to have somebody named Zap Rowsdower! TeddyR
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El Misfit
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« Reply #50 on: February 17, 2010, 11:11:55 PM »

I just saw "The Final Sacrifice" for the first time!  Wow, what a boring film.. thank God it was the MST3K version I saw.  The first and last film to have somebody named Zap Rowsdower! TeddyR

but it's only the last name  TeddyR
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yeah no.
retrorussell
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« Reply #51 on: February 18, 2010, 12:25:37 AM »

Troy's man-crush dreams involve being named Mr. Troy Rowsdower someday.

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Trevor
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« Reply #52 on: February 18, 2010, 03:39:58 AM »

Troy's man-crush dreams involve being named Mr. Troy Rowsdower someday.




 BounceGiggle BounceGiggle


"Rowsdower? Could you put my head out? Thanks."  Wink TeddyR
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As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
El Misfit
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Hi there!


« Reply #53 on: February 19, 2010, 06:40:39 PM »

from Pod People
little brat (forgot the name): Trumpy, you can do magic
Tom: It's called evil, kid
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retrorussell
I am APOCALYPSE, mutant! And.. um.. well hello there!
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« Reply #54 on: February 19, 2010, 10:45:36 PM »

from Pod People
little brat (forgot the name): Trumpy, you can do magic
Tom: It's called evil, kid
The kid was named Tommy.

(Hunter starts smashing alien eggs by beating them with stick)
Crow: Aw, what is he, an L.A. cop?

(Tommy, running outside, stumbles)
Crow: Ew, Trumpy, gross..
Tom Servo: Tommy stepped in some Trumpy dumpy!

Servo: Even the movie "The Fog" didn't have this much fog!

Joel: Pod People got no reason to live.

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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #55 on: February 20, 2010, 01:07:42 PM »

THE WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN:

CROW: They just placed a bunch of movies together in a blender and pushed the mix button.

[camera focuses on wiggling posteriors of go-go-dancing batgirls]

MIKE: Wow, that's 40 pounds of butt in 30 pound butt-capacity pants!
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
retrorussell
I am APOCALYPSE, mutant! And.. um.. well hello there!
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Howdy sugah!


« Reply #56 on: March 04, 2010, 03:28:19 AM »

More Final Sacrifice:

(Troy leans into Rowsdower's driver window as he tries to start the truck)
Rowsdower: C'mon baby, don't let me down.
Servo (as Troy): I won't, Rowsdower!

Rowsdower: You stay here while I go get us some water.
Troy: I'll go.
Crow (as Troy): Can you carry me?

Rowsdower: (panting, after escaping bad guys): They were calling me!
Mike (as Troy): Wow.. nobody ever calls ME.

(Pipper draws map)
Mike: (as Pipper): Here's the plan: my army of trained rats will lead the charge and my scabies will protect our flank.

Mike (as Pipper, to Rowsdower): Made ya some trail mix out of rat droppings and hair!

(Film title appears during opening credits)
Servo: Aw.. can I have just one more sacrifice before we go?
Mike: Okay, okay, but this is the FINAL sacrifice.
Servo: Goody goody!

Troy (asking about his dad, to his mom): Am I like him?
Mike (as mom): No, he was masculine and likable.

Rowsdower: (talking to Troy about the men that have been chasing them): It's a cult.
Servo: They worship blue oysters.
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Chainsaw midget
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« Reply #57 on: March 08, 2010, 02:39:10 PM »

"Trumpy! You can do stupid things!"

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retrorussell
I am APOCALYPSE, mutant! And.. um.. well hello there!
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Posts: 8400


Howdy sugah!


« Reply #58 on: March 08, 2010, 10:35:45 PM »

More Batwoman:

Mike: I have a feeling Satan would regret making this movie.

Mike: (as Ratfink lurks outside ) There's a peeping Zorro outside.

Mike: It's like a Warhol movie, except it's kinda weird.

(seeing a buxom dancer)
Crow: Hey, turn down the highbeams!
Tom: Think she rafts much? Wow!
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Chainsaw midget
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« Reply #59 on: March 11, 2010, 08:19:55 PM »

Roses are blue
Violets are red
I like to shoot heroin
right into my head
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