Ridiculous Lines and Dialogue

[InformationGeek]

It is just as it sounds.  Sometimes watching a movie and you’ll hear some of the dumbest things ever said.  It’ll either be so bad that it is it good or it’ll just leave you scratching your head in disbelief.  We all know the famous lines: “Garbage Day!”  “Oh my GOOOOODDDDD!” or even this delightful exchange between people in Shark Attack 3:

Girl: I’m tired.
Guy: Yeah, me too. But you know I'm really wired. What do you say I... take you home and eat your p***y?’

So basically, can you guys think of any other dialogue or lines from a movie that is ridiculous, stupid, bad, weird, unusual, or insane?

Here’s a personal favorite from Samurai Cop.  What kind of nurse talks like this outside of a porno?  Or was this a scene from a porno that got mixed in?  *Shivers*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6gk04xzN3U
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[El Misfit]

from Howard the Duck:" Okay, no more Mr. Nice Duck!"
from Manos:"I am Torgo, I take care of the place while the Master is away."

[retrorussell]

"There's a dead chick in my bed and the world's gone mad!"--Hell Night 

[BTM]

"You created it all so you could be immortal, why?"

"To live forever!"

-House of the Dead

I was so inspired by this piece of insipid dialogue, I made this motivational poster...

[zombie no.one]

"Signal blocked? What does that mean?"

"It means someone's blocked the signal." - STEEL TRAP



"Their minds are dead."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Their minds are dead." -  MAGNUM FORCE



"How long is your phallus?"

"My what?"

"Your cock. You can usually tell by the size
of a man's nose. Or the length and thickness of his thumbs.
I always look for a man with a prominent nose and long, thick thumbs."

"Baby, my nose may not be too prominent...
...but I've got two of the longest, thickest thumbs." - SHAFT IN AFRICA

[El Misfit]

From Pod People  -Well?
                                          (gives tho okay hand sign) it stinks!
Trumpy, you can do magic

[Flick James]

Phantasm (1979)

"There's a door down here, and I bet there's something behind it."

[Rev. Powell]

This amazingly mixed metaphor is my favorite: "I'll take you places where the hand of man has not yet set foot!" --Erik Estrada in CAGED FURY

[El Misfit]

From the Pumaman- "You are the pumaman" okay, a guy just threw you out a window and you should trust him when he saids your a superhero?

[MrMari]

Michael Moriarty in "The Stuff"

"Everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while."

HUH????

[BTM]

"You know what happens to a toad when it gets struck by lightning?  The same thing that happens to everything else!"

      -X-Men

Er... okay.

[Time_Signature]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6gk04xzN3U

Holy cow!!!! That's bad! I think what makes it porn-like is the really bad acting. This sort of dialogue could have worked to great effect with some good actors.

Here's a really bad line from Anaconda 3: The Offspring - it's so ridiculous, it's great:

Hammett (David Hasselhof): "Where there's blood, there's more blood."

[indianasmith]

I love this exchange from THE COWBOY KILLER:

"We'll teach that Cowboy not to pay his cable bill!"

"Yeah!! Let's set fire to his horse and EAT IT!!!"

[Newt]

From: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

The 'heroes' are taken prisoner and are chained by their wrists to a dungeon wall.  In a lull and out of the blue, one of them turns to a cute blonde girl chained next to him and says in a mild voice, "Where are you from?"    Upon which one of us watching invariably adds: "What's your sign? Come here often?"

Also the oft-quoted: "The answer?  SEAWEED!"..."Why do I know this? Because I am KING!!"

Good times.   

[El Misfit]

From Prince of Space- Your weapons are useless against me!; I like it very much!