SPazzo
Official Psychotic Duck and
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 165
Posts: 1303
My kinda toy...
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« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2010, 07:43:50 PM » |
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Two peanuts walk down a dark alley. One was assaulted.
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Set out runnin', but I take my time.
A friend of the devil is a friend of mine.
If I get home before daylight, just might get some sleep. Tonight.
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Sleepyskull
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 170
Posts: 1092
Well,well,well...
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« Reply #16 on: March 01, 2010, 08:07:58 PM » |
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Wanna hear a dirty joke?
Two white horses fell in the mud. They got dirty.
How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
How many dead babies does it take to make 10 pounds of rib meat?
It depends on whether you're making it "jerky" style.
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« Last Edit: March 01, 2010, 08:12:31 PM by Sleepyskull »
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Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world`s original sin. - Oscar Wilde
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 1174
Posts: 6841
A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
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« Reply #17 on: March 01, 2010, 10:48:29 PM » |
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OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!!! What's grosser than ten dead babies in one garbage can? One dead baby in ten garbage cans! How do you unload a truckful of dead babies? PITCHFORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  |
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day! "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
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Ed, Ego and Superego
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 243
Posts: 2572
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« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2010, 12:07:29 AM » |
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What is brown and sticky?
A stick
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 1174
Posts: 6841
A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
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« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2010, 12:18:12 AM » |
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These two guys walk into a bar, right?
Which is really stupid - if the first one walked into it, the second one should have seen it!
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day! "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
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Joe the Destroyer
Guest
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« Reply #20 on: March 02, 2010, 01:01:17 AM » |
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
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Why do babies have soft spots on their heads?
So the nurses can carry five out on a hand if there's a fire in the hospital.
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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What do emo kids use as birth control?
Their personalities.
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 646
Posts: 8494
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« Reply #21 on: March 02, 2010, 01:23:09 AM » |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 646
Posts: 8494
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« Reply #22 on: March 02, 2010, 01:24:11 AM » |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 646
Posts: 8494
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« Reply #23 on: March 02, 2010, 06:14:09 AM » |
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A chicken crosses the road and meets up with James Bond. Chicken: "What's your name?" JB: "Bond. James Bond. And yours?" Chicken: "Ken. Chic Ken."  |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1816
Posts: 15183
Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
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« Reply #24 on: March 02, 2010, 08:53:38 AM » |
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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Hey, why the long face..." What has four wheels and flies? A Garbage Truck And one for Trevor...Whats grosser than gross? Throwing your underwear at the wall and it sticks to the wall. Whats grosser than that? Coming back one hour later and finding the underwear two feet up the wall.  |
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1816
Posts: 15183
Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
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« Reply #25 on: March 02, 2010, 08:55:14 AM » |
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That took me longer than it should have to get. |
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 646
Posts: 8494
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« Reply #26 on: March 02, 2010, 09:04:11 AM » |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 646
Posts: 8494
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« Reply #27 on: March 02, 2010, 09:06:25 AM » |
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Q: What is the definition of high speed? A: Skid marks by the toilet door.  |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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retrorussell
Retro
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 614
Posts: 6092
GARBAGE DAY!
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« Reply #28 on: March 02, 2010, 09:45:14 AM » |
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3 sisters die and meet at the pearly gates. St. Peter greets them and tells them they must each answer a question correctly in order to pass.
The first sister approaches.
"Who was the first woman created?"
"Eve."
A bell sounds. DING! She is granted passage.
The second sister approaches.
"Who was the first man created?"
"Adam."
DING! She is granted passage.
The third sister approaches.
"What were the first words Eve said to Adam?"
"Gee.. that's a hard one..."
DING!
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HBO in space!<br />  |
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zombie #1
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 280
Posts: 2006
"I'm a psychic."
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« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2010, 11:43:35 AM » |
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A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee, no cream. A moment later, the waiter comes back and says, "We're out of cream. Can it be no milk?"
lol, I like this one. one for UK residents: what's worse than a dog eating your slipper? a killer whale eating your trainer |
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Take the stairs, take the stairs, for god's sake, take the stairs!!
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