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September 22, 2014, 11:30:59 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 48750 times)
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #345 on: February 17, 2012, 05:18:36 PM »

Two muffins are in an oven.  The first muffin says to the second muffin: "Whew!  It's hot in here!" 
The second muffin exclaims: "Ohmigod!  A talking muffin!!" 
must be a good joke to pass around, eh?
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yeah no.
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
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Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #346 on: February 20, 2012, 12:25:20 AM »

why were the travelers annoyed at the donkey?
he was a pain in the ass.

what do you call a man with no arms, no legs, inside a box?
you call him Jack. and you find him in the box
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yeah no.
Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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« Reply #347 on: March 21, 2012, 03:53:02 PM »

A little girl down the road went missing this morning. Her parents asked everyone in the neighborhood to help search for her

They didn't seem too impressed when I came out of my house wearing my scuba gear.
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"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #348 on: March 21, 2012, 05:27:16 PM »

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with STAR WARS.  I told her "May Divorce be with you."
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Flick James
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Honorary Bastard of Arts


« Reply #349 on: March 29, 2012, 09:31:40 PM »

Here's an moldy oldie.

Q: What did the hippy say to the invisible man?

A: "You're outta sight, man."
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I don't always talk about bad movies, but when I do, I prefer badmovies.org
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 734
Posts: 10593


Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #350 on: April 22, 2012, 09:57:14 PM »

here's one I found on 9gag:

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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yeah no.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1394
Posts: 8169


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #351 on: April 22, 2012, 09:59:57 PM »

Jokes guaranteed to get you in trouble with your spouse/girlfriend:

What's the only thing worse than a male chauvenist pig?

A woman who won't do as she's told.

If a man hits his wife with his car, whose fault is it?

The man's, he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen!

And, in the interest of gender balance, here is one for the ladies:

What's the difference between a man and a savings bond?

A savings bond matures!

 BounceGiggle
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Chainsaw midget
Just Another Guy
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Posts: 1872



« Reply #352 on: April 22, 2012, 11:00:37 PM »

Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many cheetahs!

What game would you play with a wombat?
wom

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer here, and one for the road."

There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says
‘You man the guns, I’ll drive’

What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt." 

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
Wipes his butt

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Mofo Rising
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


WWW
« Reply #353 on: April 23, 2012, 02:06:35 AM »

Courtesy of a Jeffrey Ross show I recently went to:

We all agree that Steve Jobs' death marks the passing of a true American icon. In fact, the only thing that didn't want to work for Steve Jobs was his pancreas.

Too soon?
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Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
RobFilm
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« Reply #354 on: April 23, 2012, 10:29:15 AM »

I saw this online today,

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long for fat people.
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Mofo Rising
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My cat can eat a whole watermelon!


WWW
« Reply #355 on: May 05, 2012, 03:44:34 AM »

This was the last joke I told that I couldn't get through without giggling like a schoolgirl, and I pride myself on my straight face.

I'm not a fan of sweets. I just don't like them, they have no appeal to me. So when I'm at the store, I don't even bother with junk food like Twinkies or cookies. Instead, I head towards things like peanuts. Yes, I buy the unsalted peanuts, because that's what I enjoy eating.

So here's the phrase I have about myself:

"Rob Steele: Bypasses the junk, goes straight for the nuts!"

I'll never find that not funny, and the double entendre of "nuts" will always make me laugh.

Stupid? You betcha! I'm still giggling about it.
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Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills, get up and kill.
Saucerman
Opinionated Blowhard Par Excellence
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Hypnotic, ain't it?


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« Reply #356 on: May 05, 2012, 07:03:07 AM »

I got in trouble at school as a first grader for repeating this joke my uncle told me.

What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea?

He drowned in his tea-pee. 
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1394
Posts: 8169


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #357 on: May 05, 2012, 11:53:42 PM »

My friend Ray is FOREVER telling that stupid joke . . . . and I always laugh! TeddyR
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Silverlady
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 137
Posts: 981



« Reply #358 on: May 07, 2012, 07:49:19 AM »



If vegetarians eat vegetables,  what do humanitarians eat?
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Hold onto your dreams ....
El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 734
Posts: 10593


Listen here you little s**t.


« Reply #359 on: May 07, 2012, 07:50:31 AM »

Do you want to play the rape game? No? That's the Spirit!!
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yeah no.
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