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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 403610 times)
Allhallowsday
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2280
Posts: 20724


Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #360 on: May 07, 2012, 09:01:32 PM »

How did MOSES make his tea? 

Hebrews it. 


That joke was bad, but jokes about German sausage are the wurst!
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If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #361 on: May 07, 2012, 09:45:48 PM »

I went to my doctor the other day.  I told him, "Doc, every single morning after I wake up I go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and then i vomit into the sink.  What's wrong with me?"

He said, "I don't know, but it's definitely not your eye sight." 
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2590
Posts: 15177


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #362 on: May 07, 2012, 10:04:41 PM »

This guy goes to the doctor with food hanging from his nose, his ears, his forehead, and says "Doc, you gotta help me.  I'm hungry all the time!"

Docs sez: "No wonder, you're not eating right!"
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Texdar
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 62
Posts: 305



« Reply #363 on: May 10, 2012, 08:33:01 AM »

Boobs without nipples are pointless.
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I bent my wookie!
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1103
Posts: 12884


Hi there!


« Reply #364 on: May 17, 2012, 05:14:15 PM »

So a hooker offered to do anything for $20.00- guess who got his room cleaned! TongueOut

So when someone at my house if we have a bathroom, I say 'No, we just Sh!t in the yard!'

They say I would miss my family, but I never miss at close range.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2012, 05:33:15 PM by El Misfito » Logged

yeah no.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2590
Posts: 15177


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #365 on: May 17, 2012, 06:03:08 PM »

Dear algebra,

Please quit asking us to "find your x."  It's obvious she's not coming back.  Time to move on!
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12884


Hi there!


« Reply #366 on: May 17, 2012, 07:21:08 PM »

Dear algebra,

Please quit asking us to "find your x."  It's obvious she's not coming back.  Time to move on!


no, I did find X:
Logged

yeah no.
Chainsawmidget
Guest
« Reply #367 on: May 18, 2012, 10:00:17 AM »

So a hooker offered to do anything for $20.00
I met one of those too!  Really though, it wasn't worth it.  Next year I'm going to have to go with a reliable accountant to do my taxes for me. 
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El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12884


Hi there!


« Reply #368 on: May 20, 2012, 05:43:22 PM »

Can February March?
No, but April May!

Where do you drown a Hipster?
In the mainstream.

Mexican Jokes and Black Jokes are the same;
Once you heard Juan, you heard Jamal

What do you call a person without a body but with a nose?
Nobody knows!

When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was Shocked!

What does a mermaid bring to her math class?
Her algae-bra!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
an investigator!

What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
Bison.

A friend showed me a rage comic on the internet, but I already Reddit.

I gave away my dead batteries, free of charge!

I'm so bright, my mum calls me son!!

Change is hard, have you ever tried to bend a coin?!
« Last Edit: May 20, 2012, 06:05:17 PM by El Misfito » Logged

yeah no.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2590
Posts: 15177


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #369 on: May 23, 2012, 06:39:12 AM »

I'm thinking maybe Rihanna should start dating LaBron James.  Everyone knows he can't beat anybody.
(Of course, he wouldn't have any rings to give her!)
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
Psycho Circus
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1531
Posts: 12049


Shake The Faith


WWW
« Reply #370 on: May 23, 2012, 07:18:01 AM »

I'm thinking maybe Rihanna should start dating LaBron James.  Everyone knows he can't beat anybody.
(Of course, he wouldn't have any rings to give her!)

Oooh tasteful....tsk, tsk.
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El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1103
Posts: 12884


Hi there!


« Reply #371 on: May 25, 2012, 07:44:43 PM »

I'm thinking maybe Rihanna should start dating LaBron James.  Everyone knows he can't beat anybody.
(Of course, he wouldn't have any rings to give her!)
that reminds me: Rihanna has an IQ of 117. Can you beat her?
Chris Brown: I already did.


20+ years ago, there was sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.
now there's only AIDs, crack, and techno.
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yeah no.
Raffine
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 812
Posts: 4466



« Reply #372 on: May 25, 2012, 08:00:41 PM »

20+ years ago, there was sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.
now there's only AIDs, crack, and techno.

Sadly but truthfully - it's more like 40 years ago...
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If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2590
Posts: 15177


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #373 on: May 25, 2012, 10:30:19 PM »

When Ronald Reagan was President, we had Johnny Cash and Bob Hope.
Now that Obama is President, we have no cash and no hope.
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
JaseSF
Super Space Age Freaky Geek
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 719
Posts: 13871


Soon, your brain will turn to jelly.


« Reply #374 on: May 26, 2012, 12:51:49 AM »

I've seen the same thing but here in Canada, they change the names from Ronald Reagan to Pierre Trudeau and Obama to Stephen Harper.
Logged

"This above all: To thine own self be true!"
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