1) Once a fellow was gardening and could not get his tulips to grow. He asked his friend how he grew his. His freind said "Just get some small mammals, puree them in the blender with sugar and use it as fertilizer". The man was shocked. "Really?" "Yes" Said his friend "Tulips always grow in Hamster Jam."
2) A guy was out jogging and saw a man walking his dog. At the corner they both stopped and the dog started to lick his parts. The jogger sn****red and said "Some days I wish I could do that." The dog owner replied "You probably could, but you might want to pet him first."
#2 is my favorite joke ever.
lol, both of those are great.
What does a buck-toothed cow say?
What'd the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where the f--- is my tractor?!"