Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1816
Posts: 15183
Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
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« Reply #60 on: March 04, 2010, 09:49:52 PM » |
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How many people from Brooklyn does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
NONE OF YOUR F*CKING BUSINESS
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JJ80
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 454
Posts: 6256
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« Reply #61 on: March 04, 2010, 10:02:59 PM » |
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Two antennas got married. The ceremony was run of the mill but the reception was tremendous.
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There are few things more beautiful than a sporting montage with a soft-rock soundtrack
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Silverlady
Bad Movie Lover
Karma: 135
Posts: 968
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« Reply #62 on: March 05, 2010, 08:24:55 AM » |
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A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me a chapstick and put it on my bill."
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Hold onto your dreams ....
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 647
Posts: 8495
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« Reply #63 on: March 05, 2010, 08:54:02 AM » |
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How many people from Brooklyn does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
NONE OF YOUR F*CKING BUSINESS
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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zombie #1
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 280
Posts: 2006
"I'm a psychic."
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« Reply #64 on: March 05, 2010, 10:27:00 AM » |
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how many microphone technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
one...two
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Take the stairs, take the stairs, for god's sake, take the stairs!!
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Joe the Destroyer
Guest
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« Reply #65 on: March 06, 2010, 03:06:57 AM » |
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Why is six afraid of seven? Because... Eh, to hell with it. This video answers it better than I do: --- What do you call a chicken in the North Pole? Lost |
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 1174
Posts: 6842
A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
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« Reply #66 on: March 06, 2010, 09:09:47 AM » |
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Who was the greatest investor in the Bible?
Noah, he floated his stock when everyone else was liquidating!
Who was the best female investor in the Bible?
Pharaoh's daughter - she went down to the river and drew out a little prophet!
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day! "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
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El Misfit
The bullsh*t meter is up high ಠ__ಠ
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 605
Posts: 9492
I come in pieces
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« Reply #67 on: March 06, 2010, 09:16:28 AM » |
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why is left jealous of right? because right would always be right.
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yeah no.   |
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Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 884
Posts: 8114
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« Reply #68 on: March 06, 2010, 10:09:04 AM » |
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What do you call a dead guy in a ditch? Phil.
What do you call a dead guy in the ocean? Bob.
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? At least 10. One to screw it in and 9 to say "I could have done it better."
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We must have a psychopathic deviant in the hospital.
Maybe we should report it to the police?
No that's out of the question. A police investigation would give us a bad name.
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1816
Posts: 15183
Get this thread cleaned up or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
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« Reply #69 on: March 06, 2010, 02:29:46 PM » |
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What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs?
Cunselo (sound it out)
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 647
Posts: 8495
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« Reply #70 on: March 08, 2010, 07:27:44 AM » |
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Why didn't the director of Avatar win an Oscar? He didn't have his Camer on.   |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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Silverlady
Bad Movie Lover
Karma: 135
Posts: 968
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« Reply #71 on: March 08, 2010, 10:11:11 AM » |
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What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Rabbitt farts
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Hold onto your dreams ....
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Pilgermann
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 197
Posts: 1711
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« Reply #72 on: March 08, 2010, 11:52:05 AM » |
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1) Once a fellow was gardening and could not get his tulips to grow. He asked his friend how he grew his. His freind said "Just get some small mammals, puree them in the blender with sugar and use it as fertilizer". The man was shocked. "Really?" "Yes" Said his friend "Tulips always grow in Hamster Jam."
2) A guy was out jogging and saw a man walking his dog. At the corner they both stopped and the dog started to lick his parts. The jogger sn****red and said "Some days I wish I could do that." The dog owner replied "You probably could, but you might want to pet him first."
#2 is my favorite joke ever.
lol, both of those are great. What does a buck-toothed cow say? "MOOF!" What'd the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where the f--- is my tractor?!" |
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Cthulhu
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 252
Posts: 2135
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« Reply #73 on: March 08, 2010, 03:27:48 PM » |
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What is green, and is hard to s**t out?
A tank.
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Trevor
Proud South African Cinema Activist / Geek
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 647
Posts: 8495
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« Reply #74 on: March 09, 2010, 01:59:29 AM » |
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Stole this one from Colin Farrell in The Recruit: "Seven o'clock this morning, sound asleep, I hear this cracking sound, ripping wood. I think it's part of this logging dream I'm having, but no. The bed's falling through the floor."   |
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I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.
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