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September 25, 2018, 04:17:19 PM
606409 Posts in 46787 Topics by 6222 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 114623 times)
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 376
Posts: 2703



« Reply #750 on: March 21, 2018, 12:03:00 PM »

Patient "Doctor, I have a problem with my joints."
Doctor "Do they hurt?"
Patient "No, I suck at rolling them!"
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 376
Posts: 2703



« Reply #751 on: March 21, 2018, 04:56:54 PM »

I have a plan to cool myself down to -273 Celsius, my friends think it's suicide but i think i'll be 0k
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 94
Posts: 1809



« Reply #752 on: March 21, 2018, 09:18:18 PM »

Question: what happens if you put odor eaters in an arab's sandals?

Answer:

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Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 376
Posts: 2703



« Reply #753 on: March 22, 2018, 11:30:01 AM »

I never knew much about people, until the day I took one apart just to see how they worked.
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
BoyScoutKevin
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 234
Posts: 4432


« Reply #754 on: March 22, 2018, 02:05:56 PM »

Why did Trevor cross the road?
a. To get to the other side for the underwear clearance sale. No fool he.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
b. It was lunchtime at Trevor's house, and all the birds and the bees would be there.
c. Trevor was on vacation.
d. It wanted to see where Trevor went, for it was sure to follow.
e. Trevor was on strike.
f. It was Trevor's day off from crossing the road.
g. Trevor's alarm failed to go off, and he was late.
h. Since it was paid in chickenfeed, it was cheaper to use a chicken.

Anymore?
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1923
Posts: 11879


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #755 on: March 22, 2018, 05:12:19 PM »

Q: What's the difference between a toaster oven and an electric razor?
A:  I don't know - what?
R:  Gee, you must burn your face a lot!!!!

(pulled that one on a student today)
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1923
Posts: 11879


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #756 on: March 29, 2018, 10:00:07 PM »

So, William Shatner of STAR TREK fame is apparently launching his own line of lingerie.
However, the release date has been delayed so they can change the product's name.  Apparently "Shatner Panties" didn't test well with focus groups! BounceGiggle
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 786
Posts: 5098


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #757 on: July 16, 2018, 08:14:26 PM »

My home-ec teacher said onions are the only food that can make a person cry, so I threw a coconut at her face.
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"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1923
Posts: 11879


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #758 on: July 16, 2018, 08:52:28 PM »

A pharmacy was robbed today and five crates of Viagra were stolen.

Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals!
Logged

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 94
Posts: 1809



« Reply #759 on: July 17, 2018, 12:49:30 AM »

What does a trump supporter do when his laptop freezes?

Puts it in the microwave for 3 minutes.
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ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 786
Posts: 5098


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #760 on: July 23, 2018, 08:33:37 AM »

A kindergarten teacher was introducing the basics of subtraction when she saw one little girl from a rural part of the county was staring out the window instead of paying attention, so she asked her, "Maebelle, if there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and a hunter shoots one, how many are left?"

Maebelle answered, "None."

The teacher asks her why and Maebelle answered, "Well, duh, because the shot scared the rest away."
Logged

"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
AoTFan
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 199
Posts: 1247



« Reply #761 on: August 02, 2018, 05:39:05 PM »

For some reason this doesn't work when I try to post it as a gif, so I'll just post the link.

https://imgur.com/gallery/4iQPfV3
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ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 786
Posts: 5098


The world becomes a dream....


« Reply #762 on: September 05, 2018, 02:20:56 PM »

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Logged

"If I should meet thee after long years,

How shall I greet thee? With silence, and tears."

--Lord Byron
Dark Alex
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 376
Posts: 2703



« Reply #763 on: September 05, 2018, 02:26:59 PM »

Yay, you found this thread!
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There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.
Svengoolie 3
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 94
Posts: 1809



« Reply #764 on: September 05, 2018, 04:16:33 PM »

I was a people person once.. But people xxxxed it up.
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