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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  The truly terrible joke thread « previous next »
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Author Topic: The truly terrible joke thread  (Read 409415 times)
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!
« Reply #825 on: November 14, 2018, 07:54:06 PM »
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yeah no.
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!
« Reply #826 on: November 16, 2018, 03:12:58 PM »
Glass coffins, will they be popular? Remains to be seen.
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yeah no.
Alex
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« Reply #827 on: November 16, 2018, 05:57:37 PM »
Paddy is visiting a nudist beach and decides to get a sun tan, so he lies down and to stop his man parts getting sun burnt puts his hat over them.

A passing woman says to him "If you were a gentleman you'd lift that hat when a lady passes."

To which Paddy replies "If you weren't so feckin' ugly, you'd have lifted it yourself!"
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #828 on: November 18, 2018, 11:21:29 AM »
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #829 on: November 18, 2018, 11:22:23 AM »
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 12666
« Reply #830 on: November 18, 2018, 11:22:56 AM »
A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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« Reply #831 on: November 18, 2018, 11:24:04 AM »
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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« Reply #832 on: November 18, 2018, 11:25:21 AM »
A man asks a woman, "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" The woman responds, "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #833 on: November 18, 2018, 11:25:48 AM »
Bob: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Joe: "To get to the idiot's house."
Bob: "Knock knock."
Joe: "Who's there?"
Bob: "The chicken."
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
AoTFan
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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« Reply #834 on: November 23, 2018, 04:09:31 PM »
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FatFreddysCat
Movies, Metal, Beer!
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WWW
« Reply #835 on: November 23, 2018, 05:30:37 PM »
Q: Hey, did you hear about the guy who likes to dip his balls in glitter?
A: Yeah, he's Pretty Nuts.
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Hey, HEY, kids! Check out my way-cool Music and Movie Review blog on HubPages!
http://hubpages.com/@fatfreddyscat
Alex
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« Reply #836 on: November 23, 2018, 05:34:13 PM »
A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
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Alex
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« Reply #837 on: November 23, 2018, 05:35:10 PM »
I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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« Reply #838 on: November 23, 2018, 05:36:23 PM »
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Posts: 12666
« Reply #839 on: November 23, 2018, 05:37:36 PM »
I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
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