Confessional---Anything To Get Off Your Chest?

[ER]

For years I have mislead my mom about why I didn't go to Homecoming my senior year, but the truth is I just didn't want to be there.


The only person I cringed at knowing I was pregnant and not married in 2008 was the nice old country lady who lived next to us in the house where I grew up. I was otherwise almost completely unabashed.

Monday I played on the guilt I knew would be there when I asked my friend's father for a second donation in six months on behalf of the organization I support that battles human trafficking in Cambodia. If need be I could have brought up the Dominican Republic in casual conversation to subliminally prime him, which would've been slightly evil on my part, though I was prepared to do that.

The other day I gave my daughter a lecture about how being good is almost impossible in life and failure and wrongdoing can lead to wisdom, and now I think that was probably the sheer dumbest thing I've ever said to her, given she has her teen years ahead.

When she and her husband visited us from Ireland, I took my morbidly obese cousin to all you can eat buffets not once but twice. I figured she might as well have fun on vacation but I knew that was enabling her.

[ER]

I also once asked a teacher at a school for the blind if there was such a thing as being illegally blind.

[ER]

For a time in seventh grade I used to watch Dead Poet's Society every morning when I was getting ready for school, I'd just hit play on the VCR and watch whatever scenes came up next til I was ready to leave.

Well one night Verity, this awful girl my dad was always trying to get me to be friends with, was staying over and she asked me if I'd ever thought of the order of the boys in that film I'd make out with if I had to make out with them, and I said no, not really, and she said but you'd start with Ethan, right, and I said probably not.

Well she bugged me until I finally just named one of the boys on there as the one at the top of the hypothetical makeout list, not really caring about the subject. Then that girl went and told my parents, my friends, everyone I had a thing for that particular boy, embarrassing me very much at that age.

The confession part is when Verity came over again later that summer I think maybe I halfway tried to drown her while we were swimming, and almost succeeded.

[claws]

I've never seen Irréversible (2002) or Battle Royale (2000). Always wanted to, though.

[ER]

I miss Mr. Hooper, Jadzia Dax, Kathy Lee Gifford, and other fictional TV characters.

[Allhallowsday]

 

[ER]

I didn't notice there were two different Darrin Stephens until someone pointed it out. I also didn't know how to spell his name until I looked it up.

[Allhallowsday]

I didn't notice there were two different Darrin Stephens until someone pointed it out. I also didn't know how to spell his name until I looked it up.

That's DERWOOD to you... 

[ER]

Oddly enough, I've been to her grave, John.

[RCMerchant]

 I kissed my dead mother's forehead in her coffin at her funeral and all the people there, including her husband and his girlfriend, were laughing and having fun. I got so p**sed I cussed out everyone in the room and slammed the door on the way out.

[ER]

I like the smell of paint thinner.

[RCMerchant]

I like the smell of paint thinner.

I kinda knew that! 

[ER]

I don't trust bees because they're so single-minded they cannot think of any thought but their inborn purpose. Ants can deviate but bees don't seem to be able to, they just go into a frenzy if something comes between them and the one all-completing thought that dominates them. I think a bee would overheat inside, go insane, stroke out, if it was prevented from pursuing the one and only function it knows, the task it was born to undertake. For that reason I have decided I do not trust bees and have never been disabused of the correctness of that voluntary personal policy.

[ER]

Sometimes I have to work among people I don't like, whose outlooks I do not respect, whose bigoted values are abhorrent to decency, whose volatilely spewed opinions, however loudly expressed, have little to no validity yet get offered at the drop of a hat, asked for or otherwise, people who have failed dramatically at the game of life yet who would instantly hold themselves up as examples of free-spirited, open-mindedness, individuals whose idea of talking politics is to belittle candidates with whom they disagree rather than proving they have any awareness of the political issues at hand, let alone having anything approaching a solution to those problems people who are in the political ring are trying to fix, people whose record of substance abuse should shame them, whose poverty has often been self-authored, whose criminal records include drug and sex offenses, and whose rejection of ways of life that became the norm because they tended to work represents the worst of juvenile nihilism.

But, hey, unlike them, at least I get paid for being there.

[RCMerchant]

Sometimes I have to work among people I don't like, whose outlooks I do not respect, whose bigoted values are abhorrent to decency, whose volatilely spewed opinions, however loudly expressed, have little to no validity yet get offered at the drop of a hat, asked for or otherwise, people who have failed dramatically at the game of life yet who would instantly hold themselves up as examples of free-spirited, open-mindedness, individuals whose idea of talking politics is to belittle candidates with whom they disagree rather than proving they have any awareness of the political issues at hand, let alone having anything approaching a solution to those problems people who are in the political ring are trying to fix, people whose record of substance abuse should shame them, whose poverty has often been self-authored, whose criminal records include drug and sex offenses, and whose rejection of ways of life that became the norm because they tended to work represents the worst of juvenile nihilism.



But, hey, unlike them, at least I get paid for being there.

You just described yourself. Minus the criminal sex offenses. And we all know your as pure as the driven snow.