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Author Topic: b-movies/ten must have things  (Read 4170 times)
macabre
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« on: May 05, 2010, 02:41:14 PM »
hi
i am curious/ what is your ten must have things that b-movies require?
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El Misfit
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« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2010, 03:04:33 PM »
Plan 9 From Outer-Space
The Brain From Planet Arous
Godzilla, King of the Monsters
The Pumaman
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yeah no.
LilCerberus
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« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2010, 03:24:53 PM »
Do you mean Ten essential Bad Movies for the avid viewer, or do you mean ten elemental cliche's that make a great B-Movie?
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Raffine
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« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2010, 03:35:40 PM »
Quote from: LilCerberus on May 05, 2010, 03:24:53 PM
Do you mean Ten essential Bad Movies for the avid viewer, or do you mean ten elemental cliche's that make a great B-Movie?


If it's the latter, I vote for 'A GOOFY-LOOKIN' MONSTER' as #1!
« Last Edit: May 05, 2010, 03:39:17 PM by Raffine » Logged
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LilCerberus
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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2010, 03:54:49 PM »
I'd start with the proverbial "Three Bs" - Blood, Breasts & Beasts.

There's always the obligatory "Don't go in there" & "Don't touch that" scene

The protagonist typically doesn't get along with anybody, either because they blame them self for a past tragedy, or their associates heard some rumor. In addition, there's always the unbending authority figure, as well as having to work with a rude former lover.
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Starsky
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« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2010, 03:58:18 PM »
I've got the answer no mater WHAT the question actually was.

Boobs. We such as everyone need Boobs. You don't have to show them (of course you should) but at least give us a pair of nice boobs to look at, tight blouse or something doesn't have to be much just throw a couple of them in there.

Yup, that's about it. Oh and often people say they need a storyline or characters they can connect to.

WRONG.

It's the Boobs baby! Why the hell do you think people still listen to Britney spears music on MTV or visit her concerts. Take a look at the picture, yes she has a microphone attached to her head because she "makes" music but if you look just a biiiiiittt down you can see the actual reason why her career does still exist.
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Chainsawmidget
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« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2010, 05:34:21 PM »
You need action of some kind.  Martial art fights that break out for the slightest reasons, maniacs with butcher knives, explosions, machine guns, monsters, whatever.  You just can't have a decent B-movie romance or B-movie comedy.  They just don't work.

You next need a tiny budget. 

Crew and/or actors that don't have the talent to match their vision is another good one. 
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Flick James
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« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2010, 06:33:30 PM »
Quote from: Starsky on May 05, 2010, 03:58:18 PM
I've got the answer no mater WHAT the question actually was.

Boobs. We such as everyone need Boobs. You don't have to show them (of course you should) but at least give us a pair of nice boobs to look at, tight blouse or something doesn't have to be much just throw a couple of them in there.

Yup, that's about it. Oh and often people say they need a storyline or characters they can connect to.

WRONG.

It's the Boobs baby! Why the hell do you think people still listen to Britney spears music on MTV or visit her concerts. Take a look at the picture, yes she has a microphone attached to her head because she "makes" music but if you look just a biiiiiittt down you can see the actual reason why her career does still exist.




Boobs are like one of the ten commandments of B. Like you said, they don't necessarily have to be shown. Even looking back at the classics of the 50's and 60's, women in tight blouses with cone-shaped boobies is a staple. Anything that anyone else brings up is sure to be dependent on genre. Boobies transcend genre. I'm lucky enough to have a wife who recongnizes that.
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joejoeherron
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« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2010, 04:52:00 AM »
how about terrible music?
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Doggett
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« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2010, 11:41:17 AM »
Quote from: joejoeherron on May 06, 2010, 04:52:00 AM
how about terrible music?


and Linnea Quigley...
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Vik
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« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2010, 02:09:31 PM »
I'm with Starsky, boobs !  Drink
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macabre
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« Reply #11 on: May 06, 2010, 02:53:39 PM »
hi
 i mean the 10 cliches what you have to have to create the b=movie syndrome. boobs. yeh you got to have  those. crap dialogue yeh that as well. the omg a 50p mask. plus the obligatary it,s behind you scenes. well thanks for the input. and thanks for the advice ...
 macabre man.
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« Reply #12 on: May 06, 2010, 03:05:48 PM »
Quote from: vik on May 06, 2010, 02:09:31 PM
I'm with Starsky, boobs !  Drink

I'm pretty sure Linnea Quigley has those...  TeddyR
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Vik
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« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2010, 03:20:20 PM »
Quote from: Doggett on May 06, 2010, 03:05:48 PM
Quote from: vik on May 06, 2010, 02:09:31 PM
I'm with Starsky, boobs !  Drink

I'm pretty sure Linnea Quigley has those...  TeddyR

Yeah, Return of the living dead  Lookingup
Still, we need boob variety
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The Burgomaster
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« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2010, 07:18:24 PM »
1. Visible microphones and/or microphone shadows
2. Bad dubbing
3. At least one old, washed-up, actor or actress
4. At least 2 alternate titles (and it helps if they are related to a fad, such as using the word "Exorcist" or "Exorcism" in a movie's alternate title regardless of whether the movie has anything to do with exorcisms)
5. Rear projection special effects
6. Blood coming out of someone's mouth regardless of where their wound is
7. Cars exploding whenever they crash - - even if the crash isn't very severe
8. A poster or cover art that shows a big, muscular guy wearing a torn shirt (even though the actor who plays this character is about 5' 9" tall and weighs about 150 pounds)
9. Advertisements that say, "From the people who brought you [insert popular movie title here]" - - when in reality the only person who worked on the popular movie was the key grip
10. A laboratory full of beakers and test tubes containing brightly colored liquids that always seem to be boiling
« Last Edit: May 06, 2010, 07:19:59 PM by The Burgomaster » Logged
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