OK, I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO THE REST OF THE BAD MOVIE UNIVERSE . . .

[indianasmith]

In the last week I watched MACHETE and PIRHANA (just finished the latter).

MACHETE was pure B-movie fun.  Blood, boobs, decapitations, and more firearms and bladed weapons than you can shake a stick at.  Of course, being from Hollywood, its politics were so far left as to be a charicature, and every conservative character was either a bigot or a hypocrite.  But, like AVATAR, in this case the entertainment value trumped the preachiness.  Still . . . "We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us??"  What kind of crap is that?  The U.S./Mexico border has not moved since 1853.  It's physically incapable of crossing ANYONE.  One other way you can tell this is a Hollywood fantasy:  no way in the real world would Danny Trejo, who has a face like a catfish with acne, ride off into the sunset with Jessica Alba.

NOW, on to PIRHANA (aka PIRHANA 3D).  I don't know when I have ever seen any film that had that much gore and that many boobs.  I mean, wow. The prehistoric fish were wild and evil looking, and all the celebrity roles were well done.  Elizabeth Shue has aged very well, and the "Girls Gone Wild" type director character was such a perfect jerk that he deserved to have his nether member chomped off by prehistoric fish.  This one pretty much worked on all levels; can't help but wonder what the sequel is going to look like!

[RCMerchant]

I havent seen either one yet. Would like to.

[indianasmith]

you'll enjoy them, Ronnie!

[JayJayM12]

Loved them both!

[akiratubo]

Machete was disappointing, imho.  I expected Danny Trejo kicking ass.  He did kick some ass but most of the movie was taken up by bad actresses showing off their bodies instead of Trejo's ass-kicking.

[jimmybob]

most of the movie was taken up by bad actresses showing off their bodies

a bad thing?

-Jimmybob

[akiratubo]

most of the movie was taken up by bad actresses showing off their bodies

a bad thing?

-Jimmybob

Well, if I want to see that, I can just watch porn.

[Used Meathook]

I enjoyed both films quite a bit.

I was actually surprised that Piranha 3D got overall positive reviews @ Rotten Tomatoes. I suppose that critics finally wised up and realized that sometimes movies are made to be pure exploitation, and therefore should be reviewed like such. I mean come on, do you think people going to see Piranha 3D are actually going to complain that the characters are too "cardboard"? lol

[Jim H]

most of the movie was taken up by bad actresses showing off their bodies

a bad thing?

-Jimmybob

Not really, but there was too much time spent on random side characters.  Wanted more like what we got in the opening - Machete chopping the hell out of people because he's badass.  I still liked the film, but it didn't fully live up to the awesomeness that is the trailer.

[akiratubo]

I mean come on, do you think people going to see Piranha 3D are actually going to complain that the characters are too "cardboard"? lol

They all seemed pretty "meaty" to me.  DOHOHOHOHOHO!

[Used Meathook]

I mean come on, do you think people going to see Piranha 3D are actually going to complain that the characters are too "cardboard"? lol

They all seemed pretty "meaty" to me.  DOHOHOHOHOHO!

HEY-OOOOOO!

[claws]

most of the movie was taken up by bad actresses showing off their bodies

a bad thing?

-Jimmybob

Well, if I want to see that, I can just watch porn.

Correct me if I'm wrong but had Machete not shown bad actresses showing off their bodies then the movie would have pretty much failed as the nod to B-Movies and Exploitation Cinema it wanted to be. So in that regard Machete only did what most of those Grindhouse movies in the 70s did all the time.