POOLBOY - DROWNING OUT THE FURY (2011)

Poor Kevin Sorbo. Danny Trejo too. You'd think, at this point in their careers, they could afford to pass up a
movie this awful. Or perhaps the director had some blackmail material on them?
Or maybe - this movie was actually a GOOD movie satirizing BAD movies? In that case, it was brilliant, because
it seemed REALLY bad!

OK, here is the scenario. This movie opens with a guy in a smoking patch and an eye jacket - no, wait, it was the other way around! And he had a gorgeous female martini bringing him an attendant. He introduces himself as "Saint James Street James." It's actually spelled SAINT JAMES ST. JAMES, but that's how he pronounces it. He introduces himself as a world famous film maker, writer, explorer, director, producer, and diplomat, and explains how the movie we are about to see was actually written and directed by him back in 1990, but it was deemed to offensive to go to the theaters. But now that he is rich and famous and can do anything he wants, he is releasing it on DVD. So we have this marvelous special addition with comments from the cast, producer, and director interspersed throughout.

The story is simple: an American in Vietnam makes plans with his black buddy to open a pool cleaning business when they go back home. But then his black buddy gets blown up, even as they are doing a power handshake. He is left holding a severed arm, which he carries around for the rest of the movie. Then he comes home (after his obligatory 12 year grief cycle for his slain buddy is complete), to find that the Mexican Pool Cleaning Mafia has taken over the pool cleaning business - and that one of their reps is schtupping his wife as well!

So Poolboy (Sorbo) declares war on the Mexican Pool Mafia and their evil chief Caesar (Trejo). There is blood, explosions, random gratuitous nudity, backyard cocaine parties, topless girls dueling with rubber lobsters, and a deadly pool skimmer net with blades installed on the end. There is bad dubbing, stock footage, loads of pretentions commentary from Saint James St. James, random substitution of cast members, and a shocking finale!

This movie was deliberately, abysmally bad! So much so that I found it absolutely hilarious. Seriously, I laughed my butt off and had to go and retrieve it at the lost and found of the local public library this morning (it was behind the counter along with the body of Jimmy Hoffa, half of my daughter's math homework of the year, and the real reason Obama got a Nobel prize. All those items remain unclaimed, of course!). This is a wonderful parody of late 1930's grindhouse style action flicks, with every cliche imaginable thrown in. I was surprised just how much I enjoyed it!