indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 2594
Posts: 15212
A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!
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« on: February 18, 2012, 10:21:40 PM » |
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Holy Cow. AWFUL!! Perhaps the DUMBEST movie I have ever seen!!!
Apparently, Uwe Boll filmed this atrocious Holocaust comedy on the same set, with the same cast, and using the same props as BLOODRAYNE: THIRD REICH. But this one makes BLOODRAYNE look like Oscar material. My head hurts just remembering!!!!
Here is the plot: Blubberella is half human, half vampire, and all woman. She has been hunting down bad guys and the perfect cotton candy recipe down through the centuries, and how she is living in Berlin, circa 1940, in a "Jew-y" neighborhood as the story begins. (None of which prevents her from having a cell phone, a laptop, and a life membership on "HebrewHookups.Com." After killing a few Nazis, she runs into the Eastern Nazi Resistance movement, led by the handsome, heroic Nathaniel and the flaming homosexual Vadge. Vadge E. Sill. Get it?
So we have got about an hour and a half of really bad fat jokes, body part jokes, insane dialogue, characters attacking the Fourth Wall with a sledgehammer, Nazi vampires, naked hookers, and lots of shots of Blubberella either stuffing her face with food or slinging two large swords around wildly. There are homages to PRECIOUS, AMERICAN IDOL, and about a half a dozen other recent films. There is also a touching scene where Blubberella plays a game of RISK with Hitler - I mean literally touching. She can't keep her hands off of him.
I thought that DAHMER VS. GACY was bad. But this is awful, even for Uwe Boll. But, hey, if you like plump chicks in capes and black bustiers, and LOTS of really bad fat jokes, maybe you will enjoy this more than I did.
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