Let's Talk About Some Really Bad Movies Here!!!

[RCMerchant]

Its a good thing that Walter Matthau never became a director-because GANGSTER STORY(1959) is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life.
It makes Ed Wood seem like a f**king genuis.
BAD.
Really bad.
Its insanley stupid.
And I like BAD movies-this one hurts..
Not inna fun way. Jesbus wept.
It is-without a doubt-one of the worst films I've ever seen.
The acting is BLOOD FREAK level.
But that was about a turkey head monster that drinks blood.

[bob]

Its a good thing that Walter Matthau never became a director-because GANGSTER STORY(1959) is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life.
It makes Ed Wood seem like a f**king genuis.BAD.
Really bad.
Its insanley stupid.
And I like BAD movies-this one hurts..
Not inna fun way. Jesbus wept.
It is-without a doubt-one of the worst films I've ever seen.
The acting is BLOOD FREAK level.
But that was about a turkey head monster that drinks blood.

I will not stand for this besmirching of  the good name of Ed Wood - the man was a secret genius 

[RCMerchant]

Its a good thing that Walter Matthau never became a director-because GANGSTER STORY(1959) is one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life.
It makes Ed Wood seem like a f**king genuis.BAD.
Really bad.
Its insanley stupid.
And I like BAD movies-this one hurts..
Not inna fun way. Jesbus wept.
It is-without a doubt-one of the worst films I've ever seen.
The acting is BLOOD FREAK level.
But that was about a turkey head monster that drinks blood.

I will not stand for this besmirching of  the good name of Ed Wood - the man was a secret genius  

I agree. Wood was a "genuis without talent."
I love the man.

[JaseSF]

A few I recently talked about in the "Recent Viewings" thread that struck me as particularly painfully bad were:

Nobody Knows Anything! (2003): this is sort of a faltering attempt at making an arty comedy parody of the film industry and make a statement as to the process and how in reality no one in Hollywood film making really knows anything. Lots of cameos and bit parts from famous, successful stars (Ben Stiller appears as a celebrity cast peach expert, Mike Myers appears wearing terrible eye make-up) can't save this although there might be some out there who actually enjoy this style of comedy. To me, it just feels like some film school student's first film and not a particularly engrossing one at that.

Mr. Lonely (2007): Harmony Korine's film focused on the lives of celebrity lookalikes who decide to live together at a mountain retreat that just descends further and further into depressing fare and is in fact it seems to me more concerned with having the celebrity lookalikes doing unusual things together than any deeper meaning or message although it's also supposed to be about finding oneself, one's search for identity and a sense of belonging. The visuals though here are quite startling and the scenery is beautiful. And this is a downright weird story, especially the sidestory about flying nuns.

Unidentified (2006): preachy film that's supposed to be about UFO abduction and the theory these events may in fact be more demonic otherworldly instead of involving visitors from another planet but the focus soon shifts to pushing a Christian agenda that you must be saved or you'll be doomed to damnation even suggesting other religions are invalid at times. Actually I liked the general idea at work here and there's some surprisingly validity to some of the claims here but well I'd like to actually see some UFO and aliens/demons or whatever instead of just hearing constantly theories put forth from some pushy Christian know-it-all.

These are not films for everyone clearly although I could see perhaps Lester and Rev. Powell perhaps watching the first two (personally I found them particularly hard to get through so be warned guys).

[major jay]

OCTAMAN
OMG, this was a crappy movie!
And I taped from THIS TV (with all the Sanford Brown, cancer, asbestos commercials in tact).
It was a rough go...

[Mofo Rising]

I saw Aberration during the brief period of time I was attempting to watch every horror movie at the local Blockbuster in alphabetical order. I don't recall it being terrible. In fact, I barely recall it at all.

I recently watched Brain Dead, not the Peter Jackson film or the '90s cult classic. It was pretty bad, but it did have two good points. One, it didn't shy away from gratuitous nudity (and one of the actresses was a "natural"). Two, it made great use of "head gags." That's right, most of the movie was noggins being ripped in two or being shot through with a shotgun.

Not great stuff, unless all you're looking for is nudity and gore, then it was "okay."

[Pacman000]

It's Alive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtFZru0uFcY
	Small | Large

I wish it wasn't....

[Pacman000]

The Beast With a Million Eyes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Qa5kBjmxh4
	Small | Large

I've been curious about this movie for some time; it finally came on TV.  I's not as bad as It's Alive, but only because it's shorter, and because you can laugh at the poorly executed animal attacks.

[Rev. Powell]

I watched like a1/3 of a movie called vibrations starring Christina Applegate. I've been busy and haven't had time to watch movies and I certainly wasn't giong to use that time to watch this movie about a drummer who loses his hands then discovers rave culture.

Funny you should mention this. The DOGGIEWOGGIEZ! POOCHIEOOCHIES! DVD from "Everything is Terrible" that I saw last night (see "Recent Viewings") had a bunch of 2-minute edits of bad movies included as extras, and this was one of them. It's kind of fun when compressed into 2 minutes but I don't think I'd want to watch the whole thing! (You could probably find the re-edit on YouTube).

The most interesting of the lot looked to be REVENGE OF THE RED BARON, a "Chucky" inspired Roger Corman produced movie about the ghost of the Red Baron who possesses a remote controlled airplane and comes back to torment Mikey Rooney (!) That one might be worth watching all the way though.

[Joe]

I watched 1997's ABERRATION yesterday...New Zealand-lensed film about a woman who returns to her old family cabin, which turns out to be infested with rapidly-mutating lizards.  How rapidly-mutating? There's a scene where she tries to drown one in the fish tank and after a brief struggle, it just starts leisurely breathing water.  Then of course there's the reason she's at the cabin in the first place...she stole a bag of money from the Russian mafia and needs a place to hide out! Complete stinker, and the middle third of the film is nothing but jump scares -- the girl opens the closet and freaks out when she sees a coat hanger, opening fire into the closet, her goofy biologist friend panics and fires the shotgun eight times when a tree branch crashes through the window during a storm, etc. 

I love this movie, haha.

[indianasmith]

Last night I returned from a depressing hospital visit with my Dad ready to escape into a really atrocious movie.
EYES OF THE WOODS (2009) seemed to fit the bill.
This was an interesting movie, with potential to be brilliant, but ended disappointingly.
A small community of Puritans, living in the American wilderness in 1547 (which is odd because the Puritan
movement did not exist in 1547, and the first Puritans did not come to America till 1620) are struck by a
serious epidemic which carries away Christopher Wicker's daughter.  Enraged and maddened by his loss,
he curses God and sells his soul to the Devil, who transforms him into a hideous flesh-eating monster. In
a short time, he kills and devours every member of the Puritan community there (the scene in which he ambushes
and kills the posse searching for him is INCREDIBLY gory!  He also has the courtesy to rip open the dress of his
main female victime, so you get to see dying Puritan boobie for a minute.)
   Transfer to modern day.  A group of typical teenage monster bait in a big van are taking a short cut through
the wilderness after running into the obligatory scary gas station attendant.  Their van stops dead, they get out
and hike a mile in the dark to find a place to camp (why??).  Next morning one of their number is gone, and the
van cannot be found.  The rest of the movie, they wander through the woods and get eaten one by one until only
two are left.

OK, this movie had some positives.  The gore effects are excellent for such a poor budget, and the monster costume is very well done.  No CGI here!  But the characters are obnoxious and the plot is so full of holes and contradictions as to be very confusing.  Some things are never explained - who is the random, topless, blood-covered blonde they find wandering in the hills  Where did their van go?  How did the Puritans beat the crowd to America by nearly a full century?  All in all, this one is watchable but confusing.  Could have been so much better.

[crackers]

I just bad a double bill of crocodile and crocodile 2 : Death Roll both of these were terrible movies. I laughed all the way through them though. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen, particularly part 2. There is a guy with the worst british accent. I recommend you watch them.

[claws]

I just bad a double bill of crocodile and crocodile 2 : Death Roll both of these were terrible movies. I laughed all the way through them though. The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen, particularly part 2. There is a guy with the worst british accent. I recommend you watch them.

Compared to giant croc/shark flicks made by The Asylum or SyFy I must say Tobe Hooper's Crocodile is actually a decent little B-Movie. It's goofy, charming, fun, cheesy and bloody with a likeable cast. Hooper even throws in one of his trademark "intense moment" scenes.

Never seen Crocodile 2 though.

[indianasmith]

OK, my Sunday night double feature this week was 7 BELOW and THE INNKEEPERS.

INNKEEPERS was a very slow moving ghost story about two employees of an old hotel that was about to go out of business.  They were hoping to catch some proof that the hotel was, in fact, haunted before it shut down; the young girl character was likable and sweet, while the grizzled, cynical college drop out was a bit of a jerk.  There were three last tenants too: a woman fleeing a bad marriage with her young son, an ex-actress turned psychic healer, and a strange old man who insisted on staying in a particular room, even though it has already been stripped of all furnishings.  This movie tried hard to be thoughtful and spooky, but simply turned out to be boring and hard to follow.  Too much never was explained; you didn't understand what the ghosts wanted or why they focused on this one girl.

7 BELOW begins about 100 years ago, when a young boy murdered his adopted family in an old Southern mansion.  Now a group of folks in a minivan have a wreck and are stranded in the same mansion, with a strange old black caretaker who knows too much, during a terrible storm that keeps them from leaving.  Agan this tried hard to be a good movie but was just a bit too jumbled and hard to make sense of.

Both are worth seeing if you don't go in with high expectations.

Now, for tomorrow night, I have a real gem from The Asylum - NAZIS AT THE CENTER OF THE  EARTH!!!

[retrorussell]

Hmm..
My brother seems to like John Carpenter movies so he bought Prince Of Darkness from a used DVD store.  Terrible, terrible, terrible.  Only Ghosts Of Mars is close to this as far as Carpenter's worst.