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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  RULES GOVERNING MONSTERS IN BAD FILMS « previous next »
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Author Topic: RULES GOVERNING MONSTERS IN BAD FILMS  (Read 2595 times)
BoyScoutKevin
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« Reply #30 on: August 09, 2012, 05:16:53 PM »

Many monsters will have an inexplicable, non-food,  attraction to a single human female.

Especially, if said single human female is a virgin. (See various versions of "Countess Dracula," "Creature from the Black Lagoon," "King Kong," etc.) Of course, said single human need not be female (See "Lair of the White Worm," etc.) But said monster will go on a killing rampage, if denied said single human, male or female. (See films already mentioned and others.)
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Ed, Ego and Superego
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« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2012, 05:20:33 PM »

16.) Persons making monster rules tend to be extremely long-winded.  And fail to number their entries. 
pedant  Smile
I coudn;t get my shoes off to find out where I was in the list
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
Allhallowsday
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!


« Reply #32 on: August 09, 2012, 09:24:38 PM »

16.) Persons making monster rules tend to be extremely long-winded.  And fail to number their entries.  
pedant  Smile
I coudn;t get my shoes off to find out where I was in the list
Pedant, again?  You're not funny and I wasn't referring to you.  Who else would know what you're referring to?  Only me.  Don't make me pop yer cherry.  Kitten. 
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indianasmith
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« Reply #33 on: August 09, 2012, 10:21:48 PM »

Rowr!!!! BounceGiggle
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Ted C
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« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2012, 11:02:57 AM »

29) Many monsters are much stealthier than it looks like they should be. A monster the size of an elephant can creep silently through a forest and devour dozens of victims without leaving a trace. Once a witness has survived an attack by the monster, however, it usually abandons all attempts at stealth.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 01:52:17 PM by Ted C » Logged

"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits
alandhopewell
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Hey....white women were in season.


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« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2012, 11:34:20 AM »

     30- Fifties monsters rarely attack children; indeed, they will stand there, roaring impotently, while an adult snatches the child to safety.
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Ed, Ego and Superego
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« Reply #36 on: August 10, 2012, 12:43:40 PM »

31) monsters never go AROUND things.
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

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AndyC
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« Reply #37 on: August 10, 2012, 01:21:26 PM »

32. On encountering a lone, intoxicated human, a monster will react in one of three ways.

a) Pass by close enough for the guy to get a good look, but ignore him completely, allowing the drunk to either tell a story nobody believes or comically swear off booze on the spot.

b) Devour the unsuspecting drunk with perfect comic timing.

c) Pause long enough for the drunk to comically attempt to interact with it, then either leave or devour him.
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Ted C
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« Reply #38 on: August 13, 2012, 01:58:27 PM »

33) If a monster has two heads, they will inevitably fight over food.
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"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits
Ed, Ego and Superego
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« Reply #39 on: August 13, 2012, 05:05:52 PM »

34) BIG monsters can fit in SMALL places
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
Ted C
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« Reply #40 on: August 14, 2012, 10:01:06 AM »

35) Monsters are often subject to involuntary teleportation, causing them to suddenly and inexplicably lose ground on humans they are chasing, especially if those humans are main characters.
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"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits
SynapticBoomstick
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One monster with extra cheese, hold the plot.


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« Reply #41 on: August 22, 2012, 12:04:48 AM »

36. The cell structure of a monster is unaffected by deep freezing and they will awaken from suspended animation almost as soon as they are released without need for a recovery period.

This biological fortitude can also be applied to the crushing effects of millions of tons of rock, deep water, scalding lava, and exposure due to explosions or meteor impacts.
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Kleel's rule is harsh :-B
Ted C
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Turn Up the Evil!


« Reply #42 on: August 22, 2012, 02:48:25 PM »

37) Monsters are prone to display behavior such as mating displays, territorial displays, or other displays that generally require them to roar loudly and pose ominously while their prey either scream incoherently (typical victims) or make good their escape (typical protagonists).
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"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits
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