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July 30, 2015, 01:14:15 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Warrior Queen (1987) « previous next »
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Author Topic: Warrior Queen (1987)  (Read 357 times)
Derf
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Lagomorphs: menace or underutilized resource?


« on: June 04, 2015, 03:42:19 PM »

I just watched this Sybill Danning messterpiece on hulu. I would give a brief plot summary, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what the plot is. It doesn't seem that there is one. Danning arrives in Pompeii, kills a few people in an overly imperious manner, meets a couple of slave girls, and then acts bored while Donald Pleasance chews scenery in such a way as to make Shatner seem downright subtle. Then Vesuvius erupts, all the bad guys die, and Danning, the two slave girls, and the super nice chariot champion (played by Rick "Deathstalker" Hill) leave. The end.

It's an 80s movie, so every excuse for naked women is utilized to the fullest, but that really seems to be the only thing that actually happens. There is some action, but no central story to tie anything together. Danning is completely superfluous, as is Pleasance. It's like they shot a bunch of scenes without a script and then tried to edit them together into some bizarre "slice of life in ancient Rome" non epic.  Characters make no sense, and relationships between characters just happen with no setup, rhyme or reason. I probably saw this back in the 80s, but it is so empty of substance that I honestly can't say for sure.

Was it entertaining? Mildly. Would I recommend it? Only to you guys on this site. If you have hulu, you've got nothing to lose but an hour and a half of your life. Choose wisely.
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Jack
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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2015, 03:48:37 PM »

I can't remember if I've seen that or not, but it's on YouTube in glorious 360p so maybe I'll check it out one of these nights  TeddyR
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« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2015, 07:45:45 PM »



Warrior Queen is one of the few flicks I wish were half as good as the VHS cover...

Sadly I cannot remember much but I believe there are boobs in the story. I don't think there was a lot of boobs or enough to make me watch the story a second time... or maybe I was dreaming about boobs in the story because it was so boring and boobs seemed to be the answer. I do think it's almost 20 years since I'd seen the flick... OMG... how time moves fast...

I do recall being disappointed (like I said I wished the story was half as good as the cover looked) or maybe it's because I saw
The Warrior and the Sorceress (1984) and the girl did have 4 boobs!




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Derf
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Lagomorphs: menace or underutilized resource?


« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2015, 09:21:49 PM »

As I said above, Danning is completely superfluous to the movie, so yes, the cover art hints at a far better movie than what we get. There is no warrior queen. Danning is a higher up from Rome, and while they go to great lengths to make her appear to be an amazing warrior, that aspect never really goes anywhere in the film. Yes, there is plenty of nudity, but the goings on around it make it seem stupidly mundane somehow. It is an utterly forgettable movie, one that makes Barbarian Queen seem like a classic. It is watchable mainly to see Donald Pleasance ham it up beyond all reason.
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akiratubo
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« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2015, 10:28:56 PM »

Is this the one where the black woman is roasted alive, not even for cannibalistic purposes, but simply for the amusement of a bunch of rich a***oles?

I also remember a rape scene where the guy is shown grinding away as if his life depended upon it, then it cuts to another angle and you can see both he and the girl are still wearing their pants.
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Derf
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Lagomorphs: menace or underutilized resource?


« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2015, 06:59:26 AM »

Nobody gets roasted for amusement in this one, though an evil black woman does get roasted when she opts to stay as Vesuvius erupts. As for the fully clothed sex, there are a couple instances of that, both involving a big, ugly, super mean gladiator who likes to rape someone just before he fights. The super nice chariot champion beats him up to save each of the two slave girls who end up surviving the whole movie (althoughtheir careers didn't).
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WingedSerpent
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« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2015, 08:54:58 PM »

I'm looking to see if Borris Vallejo did those posters.  If not, they found a pretty good substitute.

Edit:  Looks like he might have did the first one-but it looks like some else did the second.
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Derf
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Lagomorphs: menace or underutilized resource?


« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2015, 07:13:13 AM »

You can just see "Bor" on the lower right edge of the Warrior Queen poster, so yes, Vallejo most likely did that one. The other is signed Joann, and to my eye anyway, is not of the same quality as Vallejo's work. Far better than I could ever do, but not quite in the same league as Vallejo.
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