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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Really, really depressed « previous next »
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Author Topic: Really, really depressed  (Read 11580 times)
AndyC
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« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2012, 09:19:52 PM »

All good suggestions. I'd like to add that in addition to medication and keeping busy, cognitive therapy is very helpful. When I've been depressed in the past, I used to get drawn into a downward spiral of negative thoughts that made things much worse. This largely came from giving those thoughts too much validity, to the extent of obsessing over them in an attempt to convince myself that my distorted perception of things was wrong. Fact is, reason doesn't work on depression. However, it is possible to become familiar enough with your own thoughts to recognize when a distorted one comes along, and say "no, that's the depression talking, and I'm going to ignore it and think about something else."

Might seem like sweeping the problem under the rug, but it works. In my experience, facing depressive thoughts head-on just feeds them. Ignore them, and they will often pass.
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« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2012, 10:51:42 PM »

environment is key I think. I was working way too much. It became too hard to stay on top of all my various neurosisis. It was good in the sense that it forced me to deal with them but bad in the sense that it was bad.

To offer an analogy: I was just reading about how Iceland has been doing much better than Greece and pretty much everyone post 08 crash. The reason is they told they didn't coddle the bankers, they did drastic spending cuts and raised revenues and this and that.


 point is, they did ALL SORTS OF STUFF. There wasn't a magic bullet nor is there one for the human brain.
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Allhallowsday
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« Reply #17 on: November 20, 2012, 11:05:41 AM »

I think Andrew has a good point.  Exercise. 

I urge you to walk.  Walk around.  Force yourself out of bed and walk.  Try setting a reasonable goal for yourself.  Walk to a destination, turn around, and walk back.  Try it once.  You'll fill your lungs with air, and perhaps see things you hadn't before.  Concentrate on what you see... where people live, the work they are doing, or, the work they have to do.  Think about those you see around you, the evidence of their lives, and walk. 
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Andrew
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« Reply #18 on: November 20, 2012, 12:04:51 PM »

I urge you to walk.  Walk around.  Force yourself out of bed and walk.  Try setting a reasonable goal for yourself.  Walk to a destination, turn around, and walk back.  Try it once.  You'll fill your lungs with air, and perhaps see things you hadn't before.  Concentrate on what you see... where people live, the work they are doing, or, the work they have to do.  Think about those you see around you, the evidence of their lives, and walk. 

You really put to words how running makes me feel.  I love being outdoors, feeling the wind, catching the sounds and the scents, and looking around as I run.  Do a lot of thinking while running.  It's probably why the recent knee surgery has been so aggravating:  I haven't been able to run like I do.  About two weeks ago I returned to walking (for exercise) and now adding easy bike to the routine, and I feel a lot happier.
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AndyC
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« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2012, 01:17:44 PM »

Concentrate on what you see... where people live, the work they are doing, or, the work they have to do.  Think about those you see around you, the evidence of their lives, and walk. 

An excellent point. Get out of your head and focus on fully experiencing the world around you.

Reminds me of mindfulness-based therapy, which was recommended by my doctor for ADHD, but is also used to treat depression, anxiety and even chronic pain. In simple terms, it uses Buddhist meditation techniques to cultivate a moment-to-moment awareness, both inside and out - thoughts, emotions, sensations, surroundings, etc. It was recommended to me because I tend to go through life on automatic pilot, thoughts focused inward, with a minimal awareness of where I am, what's going on or even what I'm doing. It got much worse with unemployment and self-employment. My reporting job had previously kept it in check.
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« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2012, 01:51:42 PM »

I think Andrew has a good point.  Exercise. 

I urge you to walk.  Walk around.  Force yourself out of bed and walk.  Try setting a reasonable goal for yourself.  Walk to a destination, turn around, and walk back.  Try it once.  You'll fill your lungs with air, and perhaps see things you hadn't before.  Concentrate on what you see... where people live, the work they are doing, or, the work they have to do.  Think about those you see around you, the evidence of their lives, and walk. 

     Walking (or biking) is wonderful for clearing out your head. Music helps, too. Main thing, DON'T CLOSE YOURSELF OFF!

     No matter how hard it might be to deal with people, deal with them....people you trust, and are comfortable around. If you shut yourself off, you start listening to the wrong voices.
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« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2012, 11:36:05 PM »

I do not think I've even been depressed in terms of "depression". I'm sure I've had moment that passed but I get very stressed in this economy, business has suffered hugely, cost are way up, margins are way down and jobs is hard to find - tis life being self employed. you work as hard finding work as you do working and it gets tiring.

However, I find staying busy and keeping your mind occupied relieves the day in day out stress as I don't have time to dwell on it - I always find something to do because setting around wringing my hands does nothing.

I would think that would apply to depression to some degree - I've known a number of depressed people and they seem to feed their depression by dwelling on their depression and become even more and more depressed. But I'm not one to judge as I'm no expert on the subject.
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Jim H
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« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2012, 11:01:38 PM »

I urge you to walk.  Walk around.  Force yourself out of bed and walk.  Try setting a reasonable goal for yourself.  Walk to a destination, turn around, and walk back.  Try it once.  You'll fill your lungs with air, and perhaps see things you hadn't before.  Concentrate on what you see... where people live, the work they are doing, or, the work they have to do.  Think about those you see around you, the evidence of their lives, and walk. 

You really put to words how running makes me feel.  I love being outdoors, feeling the wind, catching the sounds and the scents, and looking around as I run.  Do a lot of thinking while running.  It's probably why the recent knee surgery has been so aggravating:  I haven't been able to run like I do.  About two weeks ago I returned to walking (for exercise) and now adding easy bike to the routine, and I feel a lot happier.

Yeah, running really helped my serious depression.  I went through a very rough period about a year ago, and one of the things that really helped was starting an exercise regimen which was mostly running.  Putting that on a routine, just running around outside for about 40 minutes three times a week really helped.  Concentrating on that and spending as much time as I could with people I cared about eventually did it, though I do still have my dark times. 

Also, I have some kind of knee issue (right knee has very bad crepitus, and now it is starting to hurt it going up and down stairs, but they took an X-ray and said it was fine - think I need a new doctor), and now I can't run or do some other cardio exercises much - EXTREMELY frustrating, like punch the wall til my hand shatters frustrating.  Ugh.  I can still do an elliptical without pain at least.
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Trevor
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« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2012, 01:41:19 AM »

I walk several kilometers a day, every day and it seems to help: no meds for me. The first course of mind drugs I was put on in 2009 nearly drove me to suicide ~ no more drugs, thank you.
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« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2012, 03:18:44 PM »

Exercise is good.  Walking around, even if it's a short walk, sometimes even just a few deep stretches, will help to clear your mind, if nothing else.  There's no one thing that works for everybody but keeping occupied goes a long way.
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fulci420
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« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2012, 10:46:20 PM »

My father killed himself 5 years ago at this time of year. I share his genes so I am well aware of the feeling. I don't think my dad's problem would have been rectified with a jog or medication it was far beyond that. I share his genes and basically have the same difficulties he had during his lifetime. There is no easy solution when you really have it. I have gone out with friends on days when I'm down and completely regretted it. I exercise every day and still the depression comes and goes. You need to learn to live with it or learn to avoid it (through medication or whatever). I would prefer to live with it because as someone in possession of a psychology degree I know the people that prescribe medication and administer therapy know not a thing more about being happy than the general person. Notice most anti depressant medication have as a side effect an increase of suicidal thoughts (look it up if you don't believe me). The reality is that nobody knows the answer and to look on a message board is futile in the least. I have been happiest at my poorest and most miserable at my richest. I have been happy alone and miserable in a relationship. There is no formula, there is no answer. I would not be so arrogant as to claim how to make your life better, only you can do that. That is the reality for us all.
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Allhallowsday
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« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2012, 11:10:50 PM »

My father killed himself 5 years ago at this time of year. I share his genes so I am well aware of the feeling. I don't think my dad's problem would have been rectified with a jog or medication it was far beyond that. I share his genes and basically have the same difficulties he had during his lifetime. There is no easy solution when you really have it. I have gone out with friends on days when I'm down and completely regretted it. I exercise every day and still the depression comes and goes. You need to learn to live with it or learn to avoid it (through medication or whatever). I would prefer to live with it because as someone in possession of a psychology degree I know the people that prescribe medication and administer therapy know not a thing more about being happy than the general person. Notice most anti depressant medication have as a side effect an increase of suicidal thoughts (look it up if you don't believe me). The reality is that nobody knows the answer and to look on a message board is futile in the least. I have been happiest at my poorest and most miserable at my richest. I have been happy alone and miserable in a relationship. There is no formula, there is no answer. I would not be so arrogant as to claim how to make your life better, only you can do that. That is the reality for us all.
Those of us who suggest "a jog" might help are not "arrogant".  I do believe that all of us suffer a form of depression, for some it's transitory.  For others, it's compelling.  My brother "killed himself" by neglecting his health, drinking, and succumbing to a physical ailment.  Your points are not lost on me, for one.  Don't lose the point I tried to make.  Look around.  Walk.  See.  Being in the world, witnessing it, recognizing all its aspects, can be restorative, but I understand not a cure.  One must want to live.  My brother did not. 
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The Gravekeeper
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« Reply #27 on: December 07, 2012, 12:17:40 AM »

My father killed himself 5 years ago at this time of year. I share his genes so I am well aware of the feeling. I don't think my dad's problem would have been rectified with a jog or medication it was far beyond that. I share his genes and basically have the same difficulties he had during his lifetime. There is no easy solution when you really have it. I have gone out with friends on days when I'm down and completely regretted it. I exercise every day and still the depression comes and goes. You need to learn to live with it or learn to avoid it (through medication or whatever). I would prefer to live with it because as someone in possession of a psychology degree I know the people that prescribe medication and administer therapy know not a thing more about being happy than the general person. Notice most anti depressant medication have as a side effect an increase of suicidal thoughts (look it up if you don't believe me). The reality is that nobody knows the answer and to look on a message board is futile in the least. I have been happiest at my poorest and most miserable at my richest. I have been happy alone and miserable in a relationship. There is no formula, there is no answer. I would not be so arrogant as to claim how to make your life better, only you can do that. That is the reality for us all.

I don't think any of us posted with the assumption that exercise will just magically fix depression. The point of most non-medicinal treatment is to help reduce stress and interrupt the vicious thought processes that go with depression. For many people, exercise does help to a degree. Maybe not for everyone, but if there's even a chance that it will help, why wouldn't we suggest it? We want to help a member of our online family get through an incredibly difficult time in their life

I don't like to admit it due to the stigma still attached to it, but at one point I was suicidal. I absolutely hated myself, thought I was completely worthless and a burden to the people around me, and that the situation I was in was never going to get any better (anyone who thinks that grade school bullying isn't that big a deal can **** right off. It'd gone well beyond "just teasing" and I wasn't the only victim who'd been driving to that point thanks to just a handful of boys). I did go on medication for a while, but depression being what it is, it has come back time and time again. However, doing these little things, exercise, meditation, keeping myself busy, monitoring my thoughts so I can spot when it's just the mental illness talking...all those things have gone a long way toward keeping my episodes from being anywhere near that bad. It hasn't been cured, and it may never be cured, but it's become manageable. That's all I'm hoping for Fausto: that he finds some way to make his depression manageable enough to get through.
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AndyC
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« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2012, 12:23:25 AM »

My father killed himself 5 years ago at this time of year. I share his genes so I am well aware of the feeling. I don't think my dad's problem would have been rectified with a jog or medication it was far beyond that. I share his genes and basically have the same difficulties he had during his lifetime. There is no easy solution when you really have it. I have gone out with friends on days when I'm down and completely regretted it. I exercise every day and still the depression comes and goes. You need to learn to live with it or learn to avoid it (through medication or whatever). I would prefer to live with it because as someone in possession of a psychology degree I know the people that prescribe medication and administer therapy know not a thing more about being happy than the general person. Notice most anti depressant medication have as a side effect an increase of suicidal thoughts (look it up if you don't believe me). The reality is that nobody knows the answer and to look on a message board is futile in the least. I have been happiest at my poorest and most miserable at my richest. I have been happy alone and miserable in a relationship. There is no formula, there is no answer. I would not be so arrogant as to claim how to make your life better, only you can do that. That is the reality for us all.

The same solution might not work for everyone, but that's no reason not to consider what works for other people. You might not find an answer, but you can get some ideas. Looking back at Fausto's original post, he's not asking what he should do. He's asking what works for us. Maybe he'll find something worth trying, or maybe the only benefit he'll get is some sympathy and conversation from people who understand what he's feeling. Maybe that's all he expects or even wants from us. Fausto hasn't asked for a solution to his problem, and none of the responders have claimed to have one. I see general agreement that each person needs to find a treatment (or combination of treatments) that helps. We've all shared our own experiences and offered a few suggestions, and that's all. The only arrogant thing I've seen in this thread is the suggestion that there is no value in it, or that the rest of us are arrogant for participating.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2012, 12:25:43 AM by AndyC » Logged

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fulci420
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« Reply #29 on: December 07, 2012, 01:19:12 AM »

I apologize for using the word arrogant I truly meant to say presumptuous. I have met people in my life who were arrogant in regard to mental illness but I do not think any of you in this thread are in the slightest. It is an issue very close to my heart and I occasionally write out of emotion rather than reason.   
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