Blackenstein (1973)

[akiratubo]

BLARGH!  THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL!

Every bad movie website ever has reviewed Blackenstein, so I thought I had some idea what I was getting into.  Hell no!  Mere words cannot describe how difficult it is to sit through this movie.

There's this Vietnam vet, see, and he's gotten his arms and legs blown off.  His girlfriend takes him to a mad scientist who injects him with some mad science formula.  This makes his arms and legs grow back but, oh no, it also turns him into a monster that looks like the famous monster from the 1931 Frankenstein movie, done on a budget of whatever change was left over from the buck-fifty the makeup guy used to buy his Big Mac and fries that afternoon.  Blackenstein wanders around aimlessly.  Occasionally, he will stare at people for a while.  Then he will slowly lumber in their general direction.  Then he will push them over and wave his hands around.  This somehow teleports some meat scraps pilfered from the local butcher shop into his hands, which he proceeds to wave in front of the camera for awhile.  Repeat a few times, the end.

BLARGH!  THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL!

The Jar may finally have found credible competition for the worst thing I have ever forced myself to watch.

[RCMerchant]

Wanna her something really mind blowing-the electrical f/x were done by Kenneth Strickfadden-who also did the labs for the original FRANKENSTEIN (1931) and the BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935)!
But he did do his share of garbage as well-such as MONSTROSITY (1963),FRANKENSTEIN VS DRACULA (1971) and,of course-this train wreck.

[The Burgomaster]

I display this DVD proudly among my other blaxploitation horror DVDs including:

BLACULA
SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM
DOCTOR BLACK AND MR. HYDE
ABBY
THE THING WITH TWO HEADS (okay, so it's 50% blaxploitation!)

Sure, BLACKENSTEIN is bad.  But I love it anyway!

[lester1/2jr]

guy from Harlem

[JayJayM12]

I display this DVD proudly among my other blaxploitation horror DVDs including:

BLACULA
SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM
DOCTOR BLACK AND MR. HYDE
ABBY
THE THING WITH TWO HEADS (okay, so it's 50% blaxploitation!)

Sure, BLACKENSTEIN is bad.  But I love it anyway!

Same here!  We actually named our cat Blackenstein...

[Javakoala]

JayJay, I gotta hand it to you. Your avatar manages to capture all the best parts of the turd that is "Slaughter High". Stupid, stupid movie. Loved it.

And "Blackenstein"...wow. I think putting it anywhere near other blaxploitation films would sully the other films. It almost had an anti-black tone. But trying to give it that much credit is enough to make my head hurt.

Still, as a completely brain-dead film, it is rather entertaining with the right amount of liquor, pills, herbage, pizza and Doritos. Yes, I do mean you will need ALL of them. Especially the Doritos. Oooh, and Pepsi. Man, I love Pepsi.

What is the topic again?

[BoyScoutKevin]

"Blackenstein" the finest in Blaxploitation. ("Koff!" "Koff!")

On the other hand, Blaxploitation or not, I heartly recommend "Blacula," which is an enjoyable movie in its own rights, and William Marshall does a bang-up job as the title character.

"Scream, Blacula, Scream" like most sequels comes up short of the original, but is still not without interest.

[JayJayM12]

JayJay, I gotta hand it to you. Your avatar manages to capture all the best parts of the turd that is "Slaughter High". Stupid, stupid movie. Loved it.

Couldn't agree more (on the stupidity and the love!)

And "Blackenstein"...wow. I think putting it anywhere near other blaxploitation films would sully the other films. It almost had an anti-black tone. But trying to give it that much credit is enough to make my head hurt.

Still, as a completely brain-dead film, it is rather entertaining with the right amount of liquor, pills, herbage, pizza and Doritos. Yes, I do mean you will need ALL of them. Especially the Doritos. Oooh, and Pepsi. Man, I love Pepsi.

What is the topic again?

Agree again!  I love Blackenstein, but it's hard to rank it amongst the Blaxploitation greats.  It's just a ton of fun.  When we got our black cat, it was a toss up between Blacula (a much better flick) and Blackenstein (just more fun to say when yelling at a cat), so Blackenstein won out.  Personal fav Blaxploitation flick - Darktown Strutters...

[316zombie]

personal fave blaxploitation for me is zombies on broadway. TERRIBLE movie,i adore it!

[Javakoala]

Personal fav Blaxploitation flick - Darktown Strutters...

I have that saved back on my hard drive...somewhere. Has that ever had a legit release on DVD?

[JayJayM12]

Personal fav Blaxploitation flick - Darktown Strutters...

I have that saved back on my hard drive...somewhere. Has that ever had a legit release on DVD?

I don't believe so, but it needs to be!  I saw a screening years ago, and, like you, have a copy on my hard drive.  I'd buy a legit DVD in a heartbeat...

[tracy]

I finally got to see this film the other day and....well...wow! It was truly awful. Not fun awful but just plain awful. I'd wanted to see it for years and now....meh!

[Raffine]

And Liz Renay is in it!

[Gst0395]

Sounds like pure blaxploitation camp at the most. They were probably cashing in on the success of Blacula.

[Raffine]

To me the scene that sums this movie up is where we get to watch /Blackenstein' walk sloooowly from one side of the lab set to the other. I swear that take lasts 30 minutes, or feels like it, at least.

I do like getting a glimpse of some of the 'Party Record' type comedy at the night club.

For the young'uns: Party Records were albums your parents or your friend's parents kept hidden from the children. They were recordings of usually black comedians like Redd Foxx and Moms Mabley doing really raunchy stand up routines. I think the idea was the grown ups would play these at parties while the kiddies slept innocently upstairs...