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Author Topic: Things I Don't Recommend  (Read 1275 times)
Javakoala
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« on: July 21, 2013, 11:11:08 AM »

I don't know if there is/was a thread like this, but here goes:

Give a piece of advice about something (preferably some action you've done or experienced) that you wouldn't recommend. It can be obvious, like the one I'm about to relate, or it can be something that sounds reasonable at face value but not so much in reality.

I don't recommend having two bicycle wrecks in one day, especially if you are over 40 (I'm 50, God help me). I think the Universe (or God, if you will) is trying to tell me something. The last bike I had ended up dumping my aging butt twice over a couple of weeks, and the second wreck screwed up the bike. Today, two wrecks in ONE DAY, and, again, the second one screwed up the bike.

If I wasn't wrapped in the good graces of naproxen's love (I took some after the first wreck), I'd probably be unable to move. I'm sure I'll get to that point a little later in the day. One knee is bruised and skinned into hamburger. The other knee has been screwed up for over a month and was actually healing...until today. I have road rash on my hand from catching myself (and failing) on the sidewalk. And my back feels like a Slinky Dog after a 3-hour session with a sadistic 4-year-old on a sugar binge.

So, I don't recommend having bicycle wrecks.
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Bushma
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« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2013, 11:26:03 AM »

Ouch! (Understatement if the week?). I hope you didn't hurt yourself too bad!
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Pacman000
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« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2013, 11:55:09 AM »

Don't stand on a dolly and lean backwards.
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indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #3 on: July 21, 2013, 02:51:36 PM »

Never tell a nun she's going to hell because she is Catholic!


(I did NOT do this, but a Pentecostal I knew did.  The results were pretty funny, since he had just been sent to a Catholic orphanage!)
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
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Javakoala
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« Reply #4 on: July 21, 2013, 03:02:40 PM »

Don't stand on a dolly and lean backwards.

Holy crap! That is damn good advice!

Funny, though.
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I have been told that I crap on everything everyone else loves. Just be thankful I can't give you an Oklahoma Nipple Twist through the Internet.
Bushma
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« Reply #5 on: July 21, 2013, 03:59:06 PM »

I did this when I was a kid, which could explain a lot about why I am the way I am.

Don't inhale several balloons full of helium.  It may make your voice funny, but I actually passed out from it.  I then had horrible gas pains the rest of the day.
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retrorussell
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« Reply #6 on: July 21, 2013, 04:51:02 PM »

Don't load a truck without making ABSOLUTELY SURE they are backed all the way to the loading dock, as in TOUCHING it.  I've had a pallet of product tip over because they didn't check their truck themselves.

Don't get p*ss drunk at a brew festival and then let someone talk you into using their remaining tokens (my brother in this case), and then take public transportation home.  You WILL paint yourself a hue of ralf, if not the bus/train, to the horror of the other passengers.

Don't work with (or for) regular drug users who can't at least shake off the effects before they come to work.  These people suck.
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ER
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« Reply #7 on: July 21, 2013, 06:01:29 PM »

Truth or Dare does not mix well with strip poker.
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indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #8 on: July 21, 2013, 06:42:46 PM »

Hmmm . . .do I sense an interesting story in your past?

Another thing to avoid is trying to rationally discuss the Civil War with someone from South Carolina!
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Javakoala
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« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2013, 06:50:40 PM »

Truth or Dare does not mix well with strip poker.

How much drinking had been done prior to this taking place?
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I have been told that I crap on everything everyone else loves. Just be thankful I can't give you an Oklahoma Nipple Twist through the Internet.
Paquita
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« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2013, 09:11:23 PM »

Man! Why even ride a bike?!  Whatís wrong with an adult tricycle?  Is that just not dangerous enough to be cool?  Is it because you canít possibly be getting good exercise unless you are constantly trying not to break your neck?  It just doesnít seem like a good idea to me to ride something that has the potential to fall over every time you stop and then once you master not falling over when you stop, you are forced to take your bike into the street so now you also have to dodge cars whilst teetering atop two skinny wheels and bruising your butt cheeks.  Donít even get me started on rollerblades! 

I donít recommend letting a professional cross dresser string you up in a corset unless youíre really ready for it!

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Javakoala
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« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2013, 09:32:42 PM »

I donít recommend letting a professional cross dresser string you up in a corset unless youíre really ready for it!

That qualifies for a major "OUCH!!"

And great to see you here, Zombie Girl!!
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Trevor
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« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2013, 01:25:19 AM »

I don't know if there is/was a thread like this, but here goes:

Give a piece of advice about something (preferably some action you've done or experienced) that you wouldn't recommend. It can be obvious, like the one I'm about to relate, or it can be something that sounds reasonable at face value but not so much in reality.

I don't recommend having two bicycle wrecks in one day, especially if you are over 40 (I'm 50, God help me). I think the Universe (or God, if you will) is trying to tell me something. The last bike I had ended up dumping my aging butt twice over a couple of weeks, and the second wreck screwed up the bike. Today, two wrecks in ONE DAY, and, again, the second one screwed up the bike.

If I wasn't wrapped in the good graces of naproxen's love (I took some after the first wreck), I'd probably be unable to move. I'm sure I'll get to that point a little later in the day. One knee is bruised and skinned into hamburger. The other knee has been screwed up for over a month and was actually healing...until today. I have road rash on my hand from catching myself (and failing) on the sidewalk. And my back feels like a Slinky Dog after a 3-hour session with a sadistic 4-year-old on a sugar binge.

So, I don't recommend having bicycle wrecks.

Ouch! I hope you're feeling better.
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indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1388
Posts: 8104


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2013, 08:50:38 AM »

Also, don't order a hot fudge banana split at Braum's and then get a Limeade to drink. I tried it and it was a HORRIBLE combination!
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Jack
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Posts: 9419



« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2013, 11:26:19 AM »

If you're snowblowing your driveway and there's a pile of leaves under the snow, don't try to just go through them.  It plugs the thing up.

If you're mowing the lawn and you're at the top of a wall, with a large trumpeter bush all draped over the wall obscuring your view of it, make doubly sure of where you're stepping.

If you're taking a walk in the winter after there has been freezing rain, but things aren't as slippery as you might expect, do not take it for granted that the stairs behind your house won't be covered in ice.

When you're working out and doing squats, don't do a little bounce at the bottom of the movement to get the weight moving upwards again.  Be very slow and deliberate at the bottom.
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"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain
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