Yep, that is definitely a news article. Was it written by a robot? It unfolds with all the stolid poetry of a logic puzzle missing important clues.
Officers in North Port, Florida are investigating a suspicious death at a motel Friday in which monkeys were found in the victim’s room.
Florida Fish and Wildlife officers removed two capuchin monkeys from the Budget Inn room, police said on Twitter.
The monkeys were being kept in crates.
North Port is in southern Sarasota County.
Police said on Twitter that one person was being questioned about the death.
No other information was released.
I'm sure that if you can solve this, you are one step closer to unraveling the dark secret at the heart of the universe.
It gets even better if you follow the Twitter links (because
of course they'd tweet about it). Are we sure that this isn't the opening salvo to some lackluster ARG?