Then there's Tennessee man, one David Kimbrough, trying to
outdo his cousin Florida Man.
Around 9:45 AM Tuesday, the police chief in Surgoinsville (pop. 1801) spotted Kimbrough exiting a Dodge minivan at the town’s Riverfront Park. Kimbrough, seen at right, was pulling up his pants as he walked toward the fishing pier, according to a complaint affidavitit sworn by Chief James Hammonds.
Upon reaching the pier, Kimbrough “undone his pants and began to expose his genitals and masturbate,” reported Hammonds, who exited his vehicle to confront Kimbrough as the perp walked back to his van.
Kimbrough, the investigator noted, was carrying a tube of Vaseline and had “several pair of panties stuffed and rolled up and placed at his chest area” to mimic female breasts. Kimbrough was also wearing pantyhose and a pair of thong underwear.
After taking Kimbrough into custody, the suspect “began to act like he was in pain,” Chief Hammonds noted. It was at that point that Kimbrough “informed me that he had an enema bottle inserted in his rectum and that he needed to remove it,” Hammonds added.