This one from East London, South Africa:
To be honest the time I got attacked by a rhino was a better experience than staying in this dump of a hotel. My family saved up all year to get a waiter who fancied my wife. The water didn't taste like water and the burgers were raw. My bed was made of cardboard and I still have a sore back. The food wasn't poor. I hated it: one night I slept outside and it was better.
Terrible to know being attacked by a rhino
is better than staying here.