JAIL

[ER]

Veterans here know my jail story, when I was detained for most of New Year's 2005 over a misunderstanding in Dublin, where I went after falling out in Austin, Texas. I was in a group led by a guy who thought he was jimmying the window of his friend's house to get us in before he came home to meet us, but his friend had moved out and the window got broken by his efforts, which a nosy neighbor saw and....the police had an admirably quick response time. We weren't put in a cell, more of a waiting area where we were made to leave behind our purses and the contents of our pockets and stay until things got sorted out. I paid the owner of the flat for the window's replacement and no charges were filed. Closest I've come to jail.

Now I just hope they never find those missing drifters buried at the abandoned railroad station....

[RCMerchant]

^ Gee golly whilikers! Strawberry Shortcake got busted! 

[ER]

^ Gee golly whilikers! Strawberry Shortcake got busted! 

HA! Made me laugh at the wrong moment, RC.

[RCMerchant]

^ Gee golly whilikers! Strawberry Shortcake got busted! 

HA! Made me laugh at the wrong moment, RC.

Did you pee while carrying a cake or something. Because that would suck!

[ER]

That would be worse than passing gas at a wedding.

[RCMerchant]

That would be worse than passing gas at a wedding.

I wore a Charlie Manson shirt and was drunk at a hearing before a judge. On a charge of breaking probation for punching a cop.  I did 45 days for that. Cop beat my ass. I was in my own yard not hurting a soul. f**k cops.
I knew I was gonna go to jail if I did it. I did it anyway. I don't give a f**k about jail. It don't scare me back then.That will get you killed or f**ked in the ass.
NOW- nah I'm to old for jail. But being old in jail is good. It teachs you to chill the f**k out. As long as you ain't a child molester. Them a***oles get beat hard. Even jailbirds got morals, believe it or not.
It teaches you to keep your mouth shut and get along with folks.

[ER]

That would be worse than passing gas at a wedding.

I wore a Charlie Manson shirt and was drunk at a hearing before a judge. On a charge of breaking probation for punching a cop.  I did 45 days for that. Cop beat my ass. I was in my own yard not hurting a soul. f**k cops.

Reminds me of my cousin's husband, Darrell, heck of a nice guy.

He was out cruising with his friends when he was seventeen going out somewhere and they stopped in a bank parking lot to see if the other car full of friends they got ahead of was going to catch up, and a cop pulled in and got rude and loud at them for being in a bank parking lot when the bank was closed, and I think some mouth running went on from inside the car too, but long story short, the cop called for backup and Darrell and the others with him got dragged out and thrown against the side of the police car with their head pushed down against the vehicle and at one point Darrell lost it and whipped around and punched the cop in the face hard enough to break bones in his own hand, and guns got pulled and it was bad.

His dad got him a good enough lawyer to get him off with probation because the judge agreed the police were using excessive force and had no reason to detain them under the circumstances. He could have gotten shot or gotten jail time but he got lucky and never got in trouble again after that.

[RCMerchant]

I had 4 cops pull a gun on me when my brother in law Leroy shot some sorry sack of s**t one night. I had nothing to do with it. Scared the f**k out of my kids.
He wasn't at my  house- he just ran and hid in my shed after he did it- I told him to f**king keep moving, because this is the first place they are gonna look for your sorry ass. Start running, mother f**ker. After that the cops kicked in my door and slammed me into the floor. My kids were freaking out.

My  first ex-wifes brother.

https://www.heraldpalladium.com/localnews/wons-convicted-of-murder/article_a21f3b0f-d2eb-51b0-b782-3ac1b300a7db.html

[RCMerchant]

Jail itself is more boring then scary. Your just hanging out with a bunch of smelly a***oles who, if they get in your face, you tell them to f**k off and they do. They ain't scary. There a***oles. If some shmuck tells you he's gonna ass f**k you in the middle of the night, you tell that f**ker you will stick a pencil in his ear before he even wakes up. So back the f**k up.. I'm only 5'2". NOBODY ever f**ked with me in jail. Most of the time I kept my mouth shut and just played cards. If you mind your own business in jail, nobody even pays you no mind. If your a loudmouth, your ass will get beat or f**ked. If your quite and get evil the first time someone gets in your face, you ok. I was quite and evil. I choked some Mexican guy who was f**king with me. I put him in a neck hold. He puked when I let him go. I gained cred. Nobody f**ked with me. "Haystack got heart!"
They called me Haystack because I had long blonde hair and never combed it. It was a mess.

[RCMerchant]

I swear to God, if there is one, I am talking truth. If I ever go back to jail, I will kill myself. Because I'm too old to deal with that s**t. Or If I go to jail- I will kill a dumb f**ker.
But I don't plan on doing anything that will put me back there, so I reckon I'm ok! 

[HappyGilmore]

Never been arrested.  Did a lot of stupid things over the years.  Just been fortunate enough to not get caught.

Was stopped once by a cop while leaving the bar, totally drunk off my ass.  Cop could've been a dick about it but after a short exchange just got me home to sleep it off. 

[RCMerchant]

It's all good. I have Tiana, I own a house, I have a grandson, and I am real mellow. I'm ok now. I'm happier then I've ever been in my whole life. I have no reason, and don't do anything to put myself back in jail. I know I have heart s**t going on, and may die tomorrow, and I'm happy just to be alive.

[ER]

It's all good. I have Tiana, I own a house, I have a grandson, and I am real mellow. I'm ok now. I'm happier then I've ever been in my whole life. I have no reason, and don't do anything to put myself back in jail. I know I have heart s**t going on, and may die tomorrow, and I'm happy just to be alive.

I'm glad you're where you are in your life, enjoying good things. I remember how you've written here about some times in the past being hard to get through.

You're braver than me, because nine years ago when in the same month I was getting married I got news and thought I was going to die very soon, I didn't feel the peace you do, I threw aside everything I claimed to believe and cried out to God, something I would have sworn I'd never do. And in that I did find comfort and peace that changed me inside and changed how I felt about life. If you already have peace in life as you are, perhaps facing death, then I suppose that's courage of a sort I lacked.

[RCMerchant]

It's all good. I have no right to cry. I'm happy to have what I have.
Or b***h about s**t. I know I complain about politics and s**t like that, but I could really care less about any of that s**t in the long run.