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April 28, 2024, 05:44:06 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Good Movies  |  Cinematic Hell « previous next »
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Author Topic: Cinematic Hell  (Read 5576 times)
Gabriel Knight
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« on: December 23, 2019, 09:05:49 AM »
You die, you go to Hell, and turns out, it's just a huge cinema where they show movies as a form of punishment. And no, there's no popcorn.

Which movies they'll show to you? For me, they start with JUMPER, so I think it may get better eventually, but then... bam, AFTER LAST SEASON and WEASELS RIP MY FLESH, back to back. The boredrom would get intense so in order to keep me awake, they put THE CLOCKWORK ORANGE, forcing me to watch that garbage just like the character of that very same movie.
At that point my will is nothing more than a faint memory, but still, I'll be hanging in there. Smiling, they give their coup de grāce in order to finish me off:

CITIZEN KANE, just playing in an eternal loop.
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Allhallowsday
B-Movie Kraken
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2019, 01:31:56 PM »
Definitely could be worse.  It could be "IT'S ALIVE!" (1969) in an endless loop. 
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If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
Alex
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« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2019, 01:36:50 PM »
For me it would be twee stuff like The Care Bears movies or My Little Pony. I tend to spent them wishing they had a half way competant villian who I could cheer for.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2019, 02:40:19 PM »
Most any movie with Alan Alda in it.
Or Adam Sandler.
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"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
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Rev. Powell
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Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


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« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2019, 04:27:55 PM »
An endless reel of features made by first year film school students who think they're the next Fellini.
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I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2019, 05:35:46 PM »
This would be my line-up:

* DUNE (1984)

* WIRED (1989)

* EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977)

* HOWARD THE DUCK (1986)

* POWDER (1995)

* THE FIENDISH PLOT OF DR. FU MANCHU (1980)

* BOBBY DEERFIELD (1977)
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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
claws
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« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2019, 05:39:11 PM »
Endless screening of all Marvel Cinematic Universe movies.
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The Burgomaster
Aggravating People Worldwide Since 1964
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« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2019, 05:47:20 PM »
Quote from: claws on December 23, 2019, 05:39:11 PM
Endless screening of all Marvel Cinematic Universe movies.

This belongs in the "heaven" forum . . .

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"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
bob
I survived Bucky Larson
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Torgo watches you masterbate!
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2019, 05:52:10 PM »
mine...is brutal

Bucky Larson

Battlefield Earth

Die Another Day

After Last Season

Saw 7

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Hudson Hawk

Run For Your Wife

Epic Movie

Disaster Movie

Batman and Robin
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Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Ińįrritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
BoyScoutKevin
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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« Reply #9 on: December 24, 2019, 01:39:46 PM »
Quote from: The Burgomaster on December 23, 2019, 05:47:20 PM
Quote from: claws on December 23, 2019, 05:39:11 PM
Endless screening of all Marvel Cinematic Universe movies.

This belongs in the "heaven" forum . . .



Wait! Are we talking about pre-2020 or what is coming up in the next decade?

2020
a Black Widow prequel
The Eternals

2021
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
Thor : Love and Thunder
a sequel to Spider-man's Far From Home

2020s
a Blade reboot with Mahershala Ali as the title character
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Olivia Bauer
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« Reply #10 on: December 26, 2019, 12:57:36 AM »
All of the Disney remakes.

Spike Lee's remake of Oldboy.

The Last Airbender.

The Star Wars Prequels.

Anything by Ray Cumfart.

I Know Who Killed Me.
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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2019, 01:18:24 AM »
Any episode of any TV show like The VOICE, or the dancing show, ya know, the one that had Shaun Spicer.
I never need to see this ever again in my whole f**king life.

Small | Large
« Last Edit: December 26, 2019, 01:24:09 AM by RCMerchant » Logged
"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Gabriel Knight
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Posts: 971



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« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2019, 06:25:33 AM »
Quote from: Rev. Powell on December 23, 2019, 04:27:55 PM
An endless reel of features made by first year film school students who think they're the next Fellini.

This is hilarious. I can already picture those 3 hours long movies with "profound meanings" and "insightful camera angles".

Quote from: bob on December 23, 2019, 05:52:10 PM
mine...is brutal

Bucky Larson

Battlefield Earth

Die Another Day

After Last Season

Saw 7

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Hudson Hawk

Run For Your Wife

Epic Movie

Disaster Movie

Batman and Robin

I haven't watched BUCKY LARSON but I read the comments in IMDb, it seems to be truly horrific. Many of the titles you mentioned are hilarious tho, and I don't mean the ones which are supposed to be funny, like the ones made by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.
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VenomX73
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« Reply #13 on: December 26, 2019, 10:20:27 AM »
the 3 new starwars movies...
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Gilligan's island, Goonies and Godzilla information booth here!
chefzombie
zombie chef to the stars
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« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2019, 02:35:45 PM »
star wars marathon. nuff said.
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don't EVEN...EVER!
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