Alex's even longer post thread.

[ER]

^ I've always felt universal suffrage had serious downsides, no more so than in the 2008 election, to be honest, when misinformation about alleged promises that were never even made ran rampant in ways that put me off an entire political party and the electoral process itself. Then I saw in 2016 a supposed grass roots reaction to 2008 that was much the same thing, in reverse. Ideally either the privilege to cast a vote should be earned through any of various forms of public service, showing you've got skin in the game, or at least those who have invested their lives in ways that were most helpful to others should earn a greater say in the electoral process. Maybe voting should be a point system. Everyone begins with one point, and you can earn more over time by dedicated investment of service to your country that could take any of a number of forms: education, public works programs, the military, community-level charitable services. It could get complicated, maybe it'd be better, maybe worse, as I'm sure cynics or the fearfully closed-minded (or wise) would tell me.

But with almost everyone agreeing things are not far from broken, maybe it's time for Enlightenment Age democracy to evolve.

Or not. Shrug.

[Alex]

I would not disagree with that. I've felt for a long time that people should get more (for want of a better term), points, and the more you do for society as a whole, the more points you get. People with high scores get a discount on taxes etc. You could also lose points for say criminal activities and lose certain rights that have to be reearned.

Heading off super early tomorrow morning for my course. I'll be spending a week in the same building that Eisenhower planned and commanded D-Day from. As a minor WW2 geek, I must admit I am looking forward to seeing that. As a husband and father, I am less looking forward to spending time away from my family. After all, that was one of the factors in switching from the RAF to the Army.

Took Ash to the annual model railway show in Elgin town hall. He loved it, but did get overstimulated and we had to calm him down a bit.

[Alex]

Got up at three this morning. I crept out of bed as quietly as possible, but Kristi still woke up. Much to both of our surprise Ash decided to wander through. I asked them if since they were already up, if they wanted to walk up to work with me. This turned out to be a mistake and came very close to causing me to miss my lift to the airport. Still, I made it in the end. Had three drunk football fans in the seats behind me who were singing. Was hoping they'd get thrown off of the flight to be honest. Wouldn't have bothered me if it had happened mid-air either. 

We got the hire car, but needed another car just to get us to to where we'd collect it. A good 20 minutes from the airport. It turned out the place they'd hired the car from was closed on Sundays, but left any keys to be picked up with a neighbouring office. Only they didn't have our keys. By sheer coincidence, a woman who worked for the company happened to walk into the office and we were able to get sorted. Euan then decided to drive with occasionally random ignores of the sat nav so we went down a few wrong turns and whatnot, but we got here eventually. Picked up our room keys, then we popped out into the local village for a meal.

To say this place is a bit rustic would be an understatement. I swear I expected Compo, Cleggy and Foggy to come walking around the corner any second. The first pub looked nice but wasn't opened for Sunday lunch. Euan was a bit surprised by this, but a co-worker had warned us about this. Euan just wouldn't believe it. We did eventually find somewhere open and had a couple of beers along with an acceptable meal, if not anything special. I had a Welsh rarebit tart (fancy cheese on toast basically).

Anyway, back in my room. It is slightly colder than I'd like, but nothing I can't handle. I've prepped my uniform for tomorrow and done as much as I can do in advance.

As predicted the protest on camp much much smaller than its organisers had claimed. It takes a very determined protester to stand outside our camp in the weather we get at this time of year. From the sounds of things the extra security personnel outnumbered the protesters several times over. Not that it would have made any difference if there had been a lot. The decision-makers down in London aren't going to be bothered by or care about a protest at the other end of the country. Hell, even the decision-makers in Edinburgh aren't going to give a damn.

Hah, Euan just texted me asking if I wanted to go to the shop. I'd passed on the warning about everything being closed especially after 16:00 on a Sunday round here, but I decided I'm going to go see this. So we walked to the shop and it was shut. Euan stammered "So you mean I can't even get a cup of coffee" Yes Euan, that is what everything shut means. You either bring your own supplies or you go without. You were warned, you didn't believe and this is the consequence. Enjoy your withdrawal symptoms.

Since he used to live down this way and has been here before you'd think he'd know better.

[Alex]

The first day is over and done with. Sat a test, and although we don't get the results until tomorrow I feel confident about it. It was all stuff about when you can and can't shoot someone. Assuming I pass the course, rather than having a weapon assigned to me as and when I require one, I'll have one permanently assigned to me.

Yes, it does have a name. Its the SA80 (MkII I feel like being fancy about it), and that is about as much of a name as it really needs. Always felt there is something wrong about people who need to name their rifles. It has a pully trigger end and a go bang end. Most people can figure out which is which and beyond that, well it is just another tool.

Watching Dawn of the Dead. It occurred to me that I've played two of the arcade games they mess around with. No idea what their names are, but one is a racing game, and the other is a pair of cowboys shooting at each other.

There is a jazz night on at the local pub tomorrow night. I'll pop along for a couple of beers, depending on how much I can tolerate the sounds. It is a freeform jazz exploration night I'll be getting the hell out of there. If it is (as I suspect), music from the 40s, it will confirm my suspicion that this place hasn't really noticed that the war is over. I don't mean WW2, or even The Great War. More like the Civil War. It would not surprise me to see a couple of Roundheads come charging down the street on horseback.

Since they couldn't fix the radiators in the block, everyone who wanted one was issued a heater. 12 out of the 18 people on the class took one. I guess the others are content to freeze. One of them though was complaining it was too cold in the classroom.

[Alex]

Theoretical part of the course is all done with, now is just the practical side of things. The building we are in has a staircase that goes past a floor with a sign that says "Special Forces only". The door to that corridor is always open though. I keep wondering if that is some sort of test?

Popped out to the jazz night. It was in a pub called The Golden Lion. It has two pubs in the town, the other one being called The Red Lion. The jazz band was a very elderly pair of guys, who I suspect were old enough to have met Churchill and Eisenhower. Both bars are filled with WW2 memorabilia, possibly genuine stuff rather than reproductions. I fought and resisted the temptation to have more than two beers. If I'd have had a third, it would have been followed by a manytude of other beers.

Practical lessons tomorrow, then the theory test in the morning followed by practical ones in the afternoon.

[Alex]

I was told yesterday that I could expect a promotion to Lance Cpl in around 18 months. I said I wasn't really looking to up the promotion ladder. I might take Lance or turn it down, but that I didn't want to go any further. I've spent my time worrying if the job I signed off on that everyone involved has done everything right and I've not missed anything. Last thing you want to hear is that an aircraft you've signed off as being serviceable has dropped out of the sky. I don't need to start worrying about what the troops under my command are doing.

I remember when I was younger and first joined up, I wanted to go all the way to Warrant Officer. I worked quite hard to get there, got promoted faster than most. If anyone was thinking about leaving, I'd chat with them and encourage them to go. Not because I thought it was better out in civvy street or anything, it was because if they were higher ranked than me then them leaving opened up a promotion spot. If they were the same rank as me, well that lessoned the competition for that promotion spot. If they were lower ranked than me then I'd suggest to them that they carefully consider their options and discuss the pro's and con's. Generally, if someone is thinking about banging out, it doesn't take much to encourage them to make the jump. I never made the effort to try and get anyone who didn't want to leave to go though.

After I got promoted. I remember sitting and watching the guys at the next rank level up and watching all the extra hours they had to work, and how little more they were paid for that jump in work load and responsibility. Over an 18 month period I decided that going further up the ranks wasn't for me. Hell, I decided I wanted to get out since I was no longer enjoying the job and it took the combined efforts of several of my bosses to persuade me to stay.

A lot in my life hinged on that decision. If I hadn't then the chances are that I would not have met Kristi. I wonder what would have replaced my current life, and while it might have been just as good I can't imagine that it would have been better.

Did all the stuff on the levels of searching people, places etc yesterday including the rubber glove treatment. Today has been spent outside in the rain with practical lessons.

This was done by one of the lads I am on the course with. Not really my kind of music, but he did this for Remembrance Sunday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=G2fhZUKQ-03pA1y9&v=S1cLas7JmCU&feature=youtu.be

He is hoping to make it as a rapper and leave the military. I'll have to leave it up to people who like rap as to if he has a chance of being successful or not, but best of luck to him. He's been touting it across the course. Given that most of us are a bit older, I think he might be looking at the wrong generation, but I did say I'd share it. Job done then.

Watching some of the stuff for the investigation into the governments reactions to Covid. I hope they nail Boris to the f**king wall. How many elderly relatives of people died alone, with their families unable to visit them while he was in party central, getting p**sed up?

[Alex]

It has been an eventful night and day. Last night we all got our doors chapped and told there had been a fault in the fire alarm and we'd all need to stag a watch through the night.

Right before we sit our end of course exams. Great.

I sat my practical exam, which well you never can tell these things 100% but I think I've passed. I then had to deal with a vehicle-borne IED. Just need to find out the results of my exam this afternoon.

We'll do the debrief tomorrow. I always think the final day of a course is a terrible one to do a debrief in because I am not interested in giving feedback and improving things for the next course. All I am caring about it "I want to get out of here and get home." Every question answered, every comment made is just a delay on that. I doubt I'll see 17 out of the 18 people on the course again, and if I do I most likely won't recognise them. The only guy I will see again, well I work with him. Hell, I barely remember his name.

They aren't bad guys or anything, some of them are pretty switched on and I'd quite happily serve beside them on a battlefield, but I am just not that sentimental about these things. People just don't register with me that much especially if it is a short-term encounter. Give me a minimum of 6 weeks with someone and then maybe I might remember their name.

[Alex]

Back in Scotland. To be honest that entire course was taking the p**s. What it took 5 days to go through, we used to do in 2 days. Regardless though, I now have a stage 3 qualification in defence and guarding, as well as what is termed the inherited right of self defence (but with lethal weapons). I've been in all sorts of crazy situations while on guard duty and not once have I had to resort to putting a live round in a chamber in order to resolve it. If I ever find myself in the situation where I need to do that on guard, then I'll do it, but I suspect I'd always feel like I failed.

I'd to attend a Remembrance Parade on Friday before I could get home. I stood there listening to a priest drone on along for far too long. We were surrounded by White Caps (military police), Red Caps (different military police) and civilian police. I spent the whole thing ignoring what was being said and thinking about as many people as I could who joined up at the same time as me. There were 150 of us. I think I could remember maybe 20 of them, and the names of perhaps half of that. I don't particularly need a special day to remember those who have fallen. I think of them semi-regularly. Some of them I knew personally, others just from planting the memorial gardens each year.

I wonder how many people who thank soldiers for their service would be willing to kneel in the mud on a cold and wet day to create a memorial? Something like that is the difference between actually doing something and just saying meaningless words. One of those things is a lot easier to do than the other.

Anyway, we drove off to the airport where we'd to then wait for 6 hours for our flight. When we landed, we'd to then wait for another 2 flights to land with other people before MT would come and pick us up. Myself and Euan had to wander around the airport as it was closing to find the random places the other passangers travelling the last part of the journey had all decided to stand. We found two of them and then told the driver we weren't waiting for the last guy any more.

After struggling for most of last year to find all the parts I wanted for Kristi's Yule diorama and the problems I had building it, I've decided on a slight change of tack for the next one. If all the pieces arrive in time, it will be a birthday present for her. If not then it will be her December 1st present. Since she is a huge Disney fan I am going to recreate scenes from Disney films as closely as I can.

What I have in mind involves this guy...

[Alex]

In a rather surprising move, old pig f**ker himself has returned to the corridors of power. David Cameron (f**k you, you c**t. The country cant afford to pay military veterans their pension, but it can afford to pay for a duck pond for your house) is now the Foreign Secretary. Sunak has moved to kick the more extreme right-wingers out of his government (other nations take note, you can do this. It is allowed).

Since he isn't actually a serving MP at the moment, they are going to quickly give him a peerage and make him a lord so he can sit in the cabinet.

Funny that the most extreme one that he booted out is the child of immigrants who wants to kick immigrants out of the country. She is expressing mock outrage at this removal, having been trying to get herself in a position that she would be fired in since she got the job. All in the name of boosting her leadership aspirations.

One thing the right is very good at is concentrating on taking down potential rivals for power even as the ship sinks around them.

We stayed the night in a hotel prior for some early morning appointments at Aberdeen Hospital. Both Kristi and Ash had to go for different reasons. The hotel was nice, the staff were super attentive, but the heating was off and it was not a warm night. I slept ok, but Kristi was freezing.

[Alex]

Do you recall the things you wanted to be when you grew up from when you were a young child? All the things you wanted to do when the world seemed so much larger and the possibilities were infinite?

I do, and I only have one thing left that I wanted to be that I've not yet achieved. That was to go into space. I might not get to be an astronaut per se, but with the whole space tourism thing, I guess it is more of a possibility now than it was before. Then again, grown-up me now thinks that going up into space and then coming back down would be pretty boring.

A slightly older version of me (but still a pre-teenager) might be disappointed I didn't get to go into making special effects, but at that age, CGI wasn't really a thing most special effects involving computers back then were hand-animated. The other stuff he wanted though, I've done. I figure he'd be mostly happy too.

Teenage me through to my twenties... well he mostly ran on pure rage. Mostly this was directed at a single person, but as time passed a few others were added to the list. I've had my revenge on those people to various degrees. He might not have been happy with the results, but he would have been satisfied. His happiest times though were spent watching live bands. Not alcohol, drugs, sex, or love came close to matching the high he felt at the front of a gig.

Late 20s, well I wanted a job with a pension and to have fun. Ticked that box off quite easily. With the qualifications and experience I had, pretty much any company I wanted to work for had a role for me. Only one had the kind of pension I wanted though, and coming late to that game the choice practically made itself.

In my 30s I started thinking about having someone else in my life. That decade was almost over before I found someone I could spend my time with though and not want to choke the life out of them after three days in their company. I managed to pick off a lot of my lifetime goals during this period.

My 40s have been taken up with children. First trying to have them, then almost getting there with poor Lilly Beth, and then finally Ash being born. Then it has been concentrating on him and trying to help set him up to have the best life he can have. I've picked up a job where I work 4 1/2 months of the year but still brings in a full-time wage, I've got my pension on top of that and Kristi is also working. We are comfortably off financially and can plan a couple of overseas trips a year if we want. In 6 months my 40s will be over. I wonder what my 50s will bring? I've been inventing new things to add to my bucket list.

[ER]

You've made life work for you. No one truly masters life, I think, but you've found ways be in harmony with it. Enjoy the rewards that brings, and good luck. You've done better than most.

[Alex]

I managed to get my hands on one of my 'unicorn' books that I've been tracking for a while. Finding a copy of it wasn't a problem but finding one that had a price tag on it I was willing to pay was. That's me now in possession of all the World of Darkness core rulebooks, something I suspect means nothing to most folks here.

Made a start on wrapping Ash's presents. Well, the train stuff anyway. The whole Hogwarts Express set and the extra track I've bought him.

[Alex]

It has been a good few days off, but as ever work sooner or later rears it's distasteful head. You'd think working 4 1/2 months of the year would sate my desire for more time off, but evidently not.

Yeah, you working Joe's know what I mean. Heh, funny to think that some years back I was on the edge of becoming a workaholic. No company is worth that level of devotion though. No matter how much effort you put in, and whether you work for the  public sector or private sooner or later there will always come a point where you simply aren't needed any more and your readiness or willingness to go is an irrelevant factor. So you either quit on your own terns, get kicked out or die in the job.

One of the pep talks I was given some years back, a very senior officer came along and said "If you want to quit then go. You'll be missed. For a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Then someone else will get posted in and you'll be forgotten about and life will go on." Doesn't quite work that way, because in a technical job it takes 18 months to get that new guy experienced enough and you'll miss his predecessor that whole time. It did contribute to my feelings that the upper management didn't really understand what we did, and didn't really care. I guess I wasn't the only one because we used to get a lot of speeches along those lines and then people started leaving in droves.  At some point the senior management must have noticed that because a few years ago the talk changed from telling us if we didn't like it then we knew where the door was to telling us all about how the grass wasn't greener outside and listing the drawbacks of civvy street. By that time though, my mind was already pretty much made up that I was leaving.

Konstantin had it right. "We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

Now the hardest thing I have to do is keeping my eyes open at 3am. 

I was thinking recently back to when i was a teenager. I attended a group camp on the isle of Arran. They had a bunch of kids from Poland who had been earmarked to be bodyguards for various high ranking figures and had been raised for that sole purpose. They were at the camp as part of the efforts to bring them back to somekind of normal childhood. They were all tall and muscular, dressed in uniforms and conducted themselves in a very militaristic  fashion. It wasn't them I was thinking about. It was a second group of overseas kids, this time from Palestine.  I wonder how they are doing in the current conflict? Have they been able to grow up, have good life's? I guess some of them will have had kids who are now older than we were back then. I can't remember any of their faces or names although  I do recall the speech given by their leader thanking us for giving them a break that it was great to be able to walk down a street and not worry about some explosion going off, or a gunman shooting at them.

I'm certainly grateful that my time has involved much less of those kinds of things than they've had to live through. Or die because of

[Alex]

No troublemakers trying to sneak last the cameras so far tonighy. Well not unless they have Yuatja levels of stealth technology.

Time to watch some movies and do some writing then.

Got a friend ( Mette) visiting from Norway tomorrow. She is only staying overnight and I am working tomorrow so I won't see her much.  Might be for the best. She did try to get home to have a drunken affair with her once. I politely turned her down and told Kristi about it, and then promptly got into trouble from her for not making it clear enough I was unavailable. I'd already set my FB status as in a relationship and told people I was involved. Short of getting a tattoo I am not sure what else I could do to avoid the situation.

Buying an American Civil War game for Kristi. It isn't a war that especially interests me, I mean you have 2 sides and the games I am used to playing normally have many, many options. Well I guess it cuts down on the numbers of paints I need to get. I already have a tin of grey spray paint, all I need now is some blue. It was a conflict that really should have never taken as long as it it did to settle and features some outstandingl incompetent commanders. I am not sure a game can adequately replicate that. It does have some interesting elements and is worth studying as the first industrialised war, but playing it just doesn't appeal to me overly much. Still, Kristi has expressed an interest in playing it, so I'll give it a go. Maybe I'll find it more fun than I expect.


Quick spray and done. Hopefully I can paint my Italian WW2 army before the new year, and get the cyberpunk style stuff I've been buying up sorted.

[Alex]

I went a couple of days without sleep then crashed out yesterday. We had a friend visiting for Norway. Didn't get to spend much time with her so I stayed up when I got back from night shift to see her off about 9 am. I then crashed out until after 14:00. Luckily I woke up in time to collect Ash from school. I hadn't expected to sleep quite that long.

I then ended up in bed early, slept late this morning, and by 19:00, had to go for a nap for a couple of hours. I suspect I've got some kind of virus or something. The main thing I get from covid is being sleepy. Maybe that is the issue?

Now its after midnight and I have no sign of tiredness when I need it.