Ninja Condors (1987)

I really love some of the ninja craze movies of the 1980s, from both sides of the Pacific. So I saw this come up on Amazon Prime, saw it had Alexander Lo in it, and gave it a go.

Holy toledo... What a mess of a film. This feels like a Godfrey Ho pasted together hack job, except that it's clearly sourced from a single film. Scenes start and end completely abruptly, cuts are constant and almost random, continuity is a total mess. The dub job is often nuts. They'll introduce plot hooks that seem like they'll pay off, then kill it off a scene later. Or something will come up that does pay off in the end, but it's the sort of thing that in a normal film would be in the first act, but here it's like an hour in and pays off a few scenes later. It's just bizarre. An example, the main bad guy has a girlfriend and there's a back and forth with the hero over her. But the girl isn't even REFERENCED until the movie is over half way over. She ends up apparently romantically entangled with the hero, despite them having not a single actual conversation the entire film.

The hackiness of it even extends to the action sequences, which are clearly energetically performed by technically skilled stunt and martial arts people... But are often badly damaged by bad framing and HORRIBLE editing. Several bits and pieces I actually don't even know what happened. There's a part where a guy grabs the hero's sword, then it cuts to a reaction of other characters, then back, and the guy holding the sword is facing the opposite direction (still holding on). Then he starts bleeding from his mouth and falls over. It's incomprehensible.

That said... It's not boring. You get ninjas on a merry-go-round and ninjas on ice! Constant location changes and bizarre dialogue. Many here would probably enjoy it. But, it is interesting to contrast with the American ninja film it most reminds me of, American Ninja. Like American Ninja, Ninja Condors eventually becomes a sort of interracial buddy movie between a ninja and a black man (another note, Steve James in American Ninja has way more charisma) with martial arts experience. There's a plucky girl who gets dragged along as a hostage at times. There's an old master who trained the hero and gives him a mission. It involves ninjas and modern day organized crime and the police/military.

But, American Ninja, as stupid and often hilariously written as it is, is 1000x easier to follow and far, far better shot and edited. The performers and choreographers aren't as good, but you can always tell what happens and there's proper build up and pay off throughout all the action scenes. The end result - much better action scenes and better, much more coherent storytelling. I'd recommend that instead. But if you just want a really trashy ninja film, Ninja Condors is streaming free on Amazon Prime and YouTube, it'll scratch the itch too. If nothing else, you'll see some of the most bizarrely abrupt scene ends and starts of any film ever made.