Would You Take a Free Ocean Cruise?

[RCMerchant]

Why would I want to be stranded in the middle of the ocean with people I want to kill at first sight? At least punch them in the face.

 

Ronny, I think things would be very different if we were all on that cruise together. Every night, bad movie night.  

Well, that's different! I'd still be drunk every day, but I wouldn't want to punch people! 

[ER]

A man I knew in Austin took several cruises with his family, including one on the SS Norway when he was about five, and the captain was meeting and greeting families and when he met my friend, my friend, at age five, asked him: "Do you have a morgue on this ship?"

So the captain showed him a place where if anyone died, their bodies would be stored in refrigerated slots til they reached port.

Truest of true stories.

Same friend was later on a cruise with his family, he was thirteen, and he and his cousin got stoned and kept taking ashtrays and other small objects over to the rails and throwing them into the ocean and then freaking out about: "No other human hands will ever touch those things again.... THEY ARE LYING ON THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN!!!!!!"

SAME FRIEND, different cruise when he was about sixteen. There were apparently people from a graduating high school class from Alabama on the ship, and he had sex with one of the girls, and her semi-boyfriend brought his friends and smacked my friend around, so he limped back to his brothers and cousin and tried to get them to go find the Alabama guys who beat him up, but his oldest brother said, "That was what you got for messing with someone's girlfriend, bro."

Mmm. He's lived a life, I'll tell you.

[Ash]

Nope.

My parents went on one and had a terrible time.  Way too crowded.  On top of that their room was broken into and some of my mother's jewelry and other items were stolen.

I don't want to be trapped in a giant floating hotel that I can't escape from. 

[RCMerchant]

Ash! My friend! 

Never seemed like a good idea. I can get drunk right here at home. Not among weird people I don't know.
I know what large bodies of water look like. I would feel trapped. And perhaps lash out at somebody and be arrested while screaming "YOUR ONE OF THEM!"

[Ash]

And perhaps lash out at somebody and be arrested while screaming "YOUR ONE OF THEM!"

I could picture you wearing a shirt that says that.   

[RCMerchant]

And perhaps lash out at somebody and be arrested while screaming "YOUR ONE OF THEM!"

I could picture you wearing a shirt that says that.   

I can barley picture myself even getting out of bed any more!

[Trevor]

Nope.

My parents went on one and had a terrible time.  Way too crowded.  On top of that their room was broken into and some of my mother's jewelry and other items were stolen.

I don't want to be trapped in a giant floating hotel that I can't escape from. 

Welcome, Ash 

[RCMerchant]

I'm gonna spend buku bucks to get in a huge floating bar?
I can spend the amount for a 5th of whiskey and a 6-pack and float around a lake !
I'll still have money! Unlike the dumb f**k who just came home after spending too much money on a cruise!
I don't want to get broke to cruise around anywhere. I'm lucky I cruise up town. I'm 58, man.

[bob]

currently no

free ocean cruise when things get normal... sure