Unbelieveably off topic, but...

[J.R.]

I was just cleaning the cat litter and I said, "You cats poop a mile a minute,". Then I realized what a disturbing visual that put in my head.

[Lee]

That must have been some visual! :) OOH, that does seem creepy. Damn you J>R>!!! you gave it to me!!!

[systemcr4sh]

I pictured a cat pooping really fast, and using that to propell itself to drive around like a car. ahahahahahah. I think there is something wrong with me.

[J.R.]

I pictured an endless tube of feces spewing out like a stock ticker. Now that would make a great b-movie: "The Cat That Pooped Forever". Troma would probably do it.

[Flangepart]

He he he......True story. Last week, John at work tole this tale : When  a teen, their neighbor had a cat. Pooped in his familys roses, acted like thier yard was it's cat box.  One day, John goes out the back door to try out his new wrist rocket he'd just bought. The cat comes by. Has two baby Cardinals in its mouth. It looks at him like "Oh, its just you." John takes his slingshot, puts a ball bearing in the pocket, ang gives that cat one right in the ear, from 6ft away. Cat keels over like a plywood board falling sideways. He put the cat in the trashcan. His dad comes home, john says "Hey,pop, come here", and he shows his dad the cat. Dad asks,"How did you do that?" John say, "With my slingshot. " Dad asks, "how much did that cost you?" "7 bucks." His dad hands him a $10 bill and says "Good Job"

[AndyC]

Don't know how to react to that story. It's amusing, but I'm a little uneasy about the idea of killing a neighbour's pet, even an unpleasant one. Then again, it really bothers me when a 'tame' animal with plenty to eat has to go around eating baby birds and such. I know it's instinctive, but I still don't like it.

Yesterday, for instance, I had to pull a pair of very happy playful dogs off a nest of baby bunnies they'd found. Heard the squealing, and ran across the yard to find two tiny rabbits, one with a shoulder wound (otherwise OK) hiding in the crotch of a tree, while another was laying still on its back, breathing, but looking like its neck was broken. I pull the dogs off and run for a shovel. My fiance is covering her eyes while I decide whether it would be more humane to clobber the thing or chop its little head off (the dogs being too dumb to eat it after mauling it). Couldn't do it, even if it was the humane thing. Maybe I could have done it with a gun, but not a shovel.

Fortunately, I tried to roll it over for a better look, and it suddenly sprang to life. Must have been stunned or something. Not sure what became of it. Hopefully, its mother came back for it. Dogs got a swat in the ass any time they tried to go back over there. We don't even believe in punishing dogs that way, but enough's enough.

My fiance was actually impressed that I was not able to kill an animal. I'm a sensitive guy, you know, but a hypocrite, because I love to eat meat. Oh well.

Thought I'd share that story.

Back to the cat pooping a mile a minute. I have visions of a super cat flying through the skies propelled by a stream of poop. If necessary, it can also direct the poop against its enemies. Imagine that as a Pokemon. "s**ttycat, I choose you!"

I suppose all of that crap must come from some extradimensional source. Maybe the cat's built like the TARDIS.

[Chadzilla]

I too am not comfortable with a killing of someone's pet.  Didn't even find it funny, my kid did that and I would have his ass in a sling for killing an innocent pest.  People like that creep are reason why my cat is strictly indoor (yeah I'm a cat lover, keep the p word jokes to yourselves).

Of course if I were in control of the universe the Cat that s**t a mile a minute would show up and hammer that kid like a Klown with Pies!  :-)

"LOOOK  up in the sky!  It's  s**t CAT!" Just keep you mouth closed when you look up.

[Flangepart]

Sorry, guys. But, it was such a weird story triggered by cat related stuff....my bad. I would not have done it, for the same reason Andyc states. A stray cat, maby if needed, but thats what the humane scociaty is for. I guess i'm too much a dog person. Still, i've known a few cats...a few...that i got along with. On topic.....if the cat was s**tting a mile a minute....just how much processed fish byproduct would that ammount to in a 60 minute period? Ewwwwwww!!

[Andrew]

I am well known for running the neighborhood cats off my property (we have about an acre, some of it wooded) with my paintball gun or water balloons.  There are too many stray cats running around and they are a menace.  They are either digging up flower gardens or chasing the local animals (rabbits, chipmunks, snakes, box turtles, etc).  I'd catch them, but catching a cat is usually pure hell.

Stray dogs?  They get caught or else run off in the same manner.  If they have a tag I call the owner.  If not - straight to the pound.  I do not blame the animals, because it is the owner's fault, but what can you do?

By the same token, I am also well known for taking care of injured animals - if possible.  Plus, we have this one old box turtle who stays around the area (the back of my yard is bordered by a stream).  He likes bananas and strawberries.  He also has teeth marks on his shell, probably from a dog.

[J.R.]

I have two cats myself, but I still find it fun to pick on strays. One time I set up a bottle rocket with some Whiskas canned food piled around the bottle. Heh heh. With my own cats I tie helium balloons around their stamochs and watch them try to walk around. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Babydoll]

Cleaning the cats litter box :
 That is what  husbands are for!

  I like the cat litter commercials.  Cats smiling because the cat litter smells clean.  We are fools for believing it.

[Chadzilla]

yeah, that's what we're for.  And cleaning fish bowls and guinea pig cages (talk about s**tting a mile a minute, try picking up on of those burrito sized sit pellet shooting rodents and then having to chase the cat off the carpet and into the kitchen so it won't cough up a hairball on it - at the same time, that was MY sunday!)

[Vermin Boy]

That kitty litter ad with the "If you want a fresher house, raise your paw" song annoys me. Cats DON'T want a fresher house; they want to leave their scent all over it to make sure other cats don't claim it. Of course, by that same rationale, Charlie the Tuna probably wouldn't actually want us to eat tuna unless he was a world class sadist, but still...

[ErikJ]

Oh better yet, my wife chases hamsters and gerbils to clean out their cages- she owns about two dozen of these things-they just let it go as she picks them up. Now there is definitely a mile a minute shoot out that goes on when she chases those damn things down.

[John]

>By the same token, I am also well known for taking care of injured animals - if
>possible. Plus, we have this one old box turtle who stays around the area (the
>back of my yard is bordered by a stream). He likes bananas and strawberries.
>He also has teeth marks on his shell, probably from a dog.

 Many years ago we had a german shepard that killed a turtle. Our neighbor had them in a kiddie pool and when nobody was watching, our dog happily trotted over and scopped one up. I don't know if he even intended to eat it or if he thought it was just something to play with, but his teeth ended up punching holes in the shell and the turtle's belly.

 For the record, I didn't agree with the cat killing story either. I like most cats.