Flangepart
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 653
Posts: 9477
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« on: September 17, 2002, 03:46:08 PM » |
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FROM THE DESK OF WARDEN WORDEN
COLUMBUS STATE HOME FOR THE REALITY IMPARED.
(E Pluribus Loonum)
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>>>>Dear Staph
....It has come to my attention that home residents are useing front office stationary
in place of toilet paper.
....This is unacceptable.
....Not only is it a whast of valuable supplies, it is an insult to the hard work of the front office.We work hard to keep you supplied with medication, comfortable restraints, food, and suficiant tabloids to make your stay here , if not enjoyable, at least survivable.
....Also, maintainence has complained agine about the use of the magazines from the visitors waiting room. Slick paper is not advisable! Not only is there insufficant traction for the task at hand, it is not a good idea to have Nathan Lane stareing into the darkest recesses of your soul.
....Or is that soil?
....Never mind. Just cut it out!
....Remember, if we go over budget for T.P.....its back to the corncobs!
....I don't think anyone wants to go THERE agine!
....Anyway, tonights movie will be will be another in house production from the West Wing. Its A period piece with Chad Feldspar, Robespeeir Pilsner-stein, Bethany Tushmacher, and Skink the wonder Gekko as Clive. Starring in "I was Hitlers Mustach" Remember, while its free beer night, all drinkers do need a permit from their shrinks, original copys, or its no Killians for you!
....Thats all for now. You may now return to your irregulary scedualed delusions.
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