THINGS THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN IN MOVIES AND HORROR FLICKS

[Tommy]

THINGS THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN IN MOVIES AND HORROR FLICKS
by Tommy

I wish somebody would make a movie where we’re not seeing the usual dumb cliches.  Here are just a few idiotic cliches that churn your stomache...  Feel free to humor the rest of us with your feeback.

— A member of a group sees something suspicious and wanders off only to get butchered.

— A car that was working fine before, suddenly doesn’t start.

— The monster teleport behind and in front of someone who’s been running forever.

— The camera zooms in on someone to show that they have very little peripheral, when in actuality the person is standing in a huge clearing and see anything coming.

— Only one survivor.

— A monster who can normally rip through steel can’t push through a shack door with people pinned against it.

— A villian can just suit up as a security guard and no one notices that they have a new guard.

— Monsters always come back to life after they’ve been killed only to be killed again.

— Human killers have the same teleportation devices as monsters and can always find you when you’re hiding.

— Someone who has been in hiding, finally comes out and gets killed.

[ahab]

I could also do without the spring loaded cat and variations thereof. Also for my own personal edification i would like to see someone over react the way i do when someone comes up from behind and scares the crap out of friend/ girlfriend etc. I once broke my roomates nose when he did that to me. Like I said over reaction....



Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

[wheresthecarrot]

Why, do girls ALWAYS run in the worst direction possible, and how is it that a bad guy with no tools on him can break in, cut phone lines, kill the lights and can find their way around in the dark better than the people that ctually live in the house.

[J.R.]

- The last survivor always s-l-o-w-l-y walks around in the house, bumping into bodies. I think I'd be out of there after the first body I saw.

- Adults, police, or any other authority figures never believe the kids, and even seem annoyed that they would even suggest something is going on.

- Everyone in space (except our main hero) is British. It's as if they have a monopoly on space travel.

[raj]

And normally very fast monsters suddenly can't overtake the hero who has a two second head start.

[AndyC]

Normally-stealthy Monsters, who sneak up behind other characters and kill them instantly will make a big show of coming at a hero, allowing him/her to run. If the hero is caught, a struggle will ensue, resulting in minimal injury.

[wheresthecarrot]

"Whew!  I'm sure glad that's over...(happy music starts)...but wait, he's not dead!!!!!"  One final shot will usually finish the job though.  Amazingly, all victims in movies have tremendous aim with a firearm.

[AndyC]

wheresthecarrot wrote:
>
> "Whew!  I'm sure glad that's over...(happy music
> starts)...but wait, he's not dead!!!!!"

Loved the way Cannibal: The Musical spoofed that one.

[wheresthecarrot]

Yeah, that's one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever!

[Drezzy]

Don't forget, folks!

SOMEHOW, THE GOVERNMENT ALWAYS WANTS TO LIE TO US ALL. NOTHING THE GOVERNMENT IS TELLING US IS TRUE, AND THE REAL WAR IS BEING FOUGHT IN YOUR BASEMENT BETWEEN THE ALIENS, THE GHOSTS, AND THOUSANDS OF RED-SHIRTS.

[Evan3]

The heroes always asking if the bad guy is dead.

Music that comes in half a second before the death

Carrot Top

[raj]

Except for the young scientist who knows exactly  how to deal with the alien/monster, but nobody listens to.

Just once, can't we have the older, more experienced folks be the ones who are correct in dealing with the alien/monster?

[wheresthecarrot]

There's usually a guy that wants to save the monster, in the name of science or compassion or some crap like that.

And there's usually at least one hot chick.