Somebody forgot to take their medicine

[Andrew]

Sometimes people do not like the reviews, but sometimes I have no idea what inspired their rants.  The latest for Billy Jack fits into the latter category.

The reader comments for Billy Jack  (it is at the very bottom at present).

Did I miss something in the review or comments?  Anyone?

On the other hand, at times what people write has been known to make me laugh to tears.  One for The Cars That Ate Paris stands out in my mind.

From Anonymous:
This movie fell into my hands, packaged with such brash claims as "They Run On Human Blood..." etc. I could barely keep from choking on my own rage when I realized no people were actually going to be eaten by cars. However, this vain hope kept me sane during the 77 minutes of horror, chanting "Eat him, eat him, eat him..." whenever a car and a person appeared in the same shot. Pure hell.

[Drezzy]

Apparently the f**khead didn't read your entire front-page summary of the site, where you clearly stated you're a marine...

[J.R.]

Okay, I took Squishy's link to billyjack.com. Wow. Wowee-wow-wow. It has a section in which Laughlin actually critiques Dr. Phil. And this from the Billy Jack Goes To Washington page-

Many people think Billy Jack Goes to Washington is the best, most explosive film of the Billy Jack series. It's about Billy Jack taking on the Washington elite and the powerful lobbyists (sound familiar?).

See for yourself how incredibly timely and topical this film is today!

And I thought Roger Corman was the king of overselling.

[Dano]

Yeah - that's two over-touchy people who didn't like your Billy Jack review, isn't it?  So what's up Andrew?  If you read it backwards, or if you read every other line is there some kind of hidden message against indians??  

I love it when people speak of American whites like they just got off the boats last week and set up shop or something.  The old "we were here first" refrain is crap when somebody says it to an immigrant, and it's crap when an indian says it to white native American.

Better stop.  If the 6-year green beret veteran manages to comprehend my mostly correct grammar, he's liable to break my head in and get tossed in the "brigg" (sic).  By the way...  Isn't the word brig a naval term?  Wouldn't a REAL US Army soldier have said "stockade."  Six years in the special forces, huh?  Right.

[nshumate]

My favorite "wtf?" reader comment is the guy who took me to task for my negative review of Predator.

Except that I gave it a positive review.

[Fearless Freep]

Did "Glenn" even read your review?

[Funk, E.]

Err... For those who know anything about Fort Bragg it's a contentender for "most dangerous place for military spouses" award. Violent fits for no good reason would seem to fit the bill.

In sympathy though I got p**sed off at a reviewer once on "bad movie night" because I had read three reviews of movies I liked that they had panned and eventually I wrote him a nasty e-mail and regretted it, but I can understand how when your already angery it's really easy to find a target to vent on.

Andrew, sooner or later somebody just isn't going to make sense and hate you for the wrong reasons. We call is racism they call it fighting the oppressor, take your pick.

[Squishy]

(whistles the "Looney Tunes" theme, "Merry-Go-Round Broken Down")

Laughlin himself didn't take even the lightest criticism of his movies very well (as documented in the old Medved books); if "Glenn, Warrior Princess" isn't Crazy Tom himself, he's probably one of those severe Born Losers attracted to Laughlin's wannabe-personality-cult ("You too can release the Billy within!!").

[Deej]

  I am always amazed by how many green berets, Army Rangers, Navy S.E.A.L's and Recon Marines there are floating arount out there. I'm a former Marine working as a Force Protection Officer with the Stabilization Forces in Bosnia. And apparently I'm the only one among my colleagues who wasn't SF...kooky.
 Okay, that was just a rant(sorry). My point is, aren't Green Beret's supposed to have Master's degrees? Hmmmmmmm.....

[Brother Ragnarok]

Okay, I realize this sparring will never end, and responding only fires 'em up more, but for some reason I felt it necessary to respond.  I posted my response under his comment (if it takes up too much space or something, go ahead on and delete it, it won't hurt my feelings or anything), and I'll post it here now.  Enjoy.

Do people really have so little to do that they must surf the internet actively looking for things that offend them so they can b***h and whine at the people who enjoy them to feel superior?  Grow up, people.  We don't fight wars so we can write reviews like this, we write reviews like this so we don't have to think about the wars we're fighting all the time.
For the most part, people who enjoy watching and enjoy reviewing and making fun of b-movies are very intelligent people and are certainly not ignorant racists.  This is our entertainment, our form of escapism.  Any disparaging remarks made about these movies and their themes, characters, or anything else about them are made with tongue firmly planted in cheek.  Have you ever seen an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000?  Most of the comments they make can be shouted down or explained away if you stop and look at them, but we don't want to do that because these things are what make us laugh.
So take your childish "violent short temper" and run along so you can be a big tough Green Beret and berate some other group of people who are having a harmless good time and bothering no one but those who choose to seek them out and be bothered by them.
Us "smart ones" have heard this all before, and it makes you look just as stupid and petty as it did the first time we heard it.

Brother Ragnarok

[Brother Ragnarok]

And on another small sidenote, why does no one ever send ME hate mail?  I'm sure our site is more likely to offend than Andrew's, since it's designed to offend those who stumble across it and entertain those who know it's a joke.
Ah, well.  If I can't get my own, at least I can enjoy reading other people's.  Rock on, Andrew.  See you all in Chicago (but not in September).

Brother R

[Flangepart]

Well spoken Brother R.
We all get dissed, in some way, every day.
Give as good as you get, use humor, and then let it go. I don't do that as often as i should....but i try.
BTW, i could come up with some hate mail if you like....just for practice sake. I could just pretend your the clown who wrote Octopus!
Octopus...he said Octopus! So Sloooooly i turned......
Dear Mr Octopus writer and or Director...
What the hell where you thinking, you bucket of man pus! You blithering car load of cream of bile! I hate the ground you stand on, for you have defiled it with the radiation of your purile little mind, and i only say mind, for sake of another word to describe what takes place in the synapsis in that fat thing  you call a skull!
You sir, are a creeping bundle of alien worms, with pretentions to invertibrate status! I hate you, and hope when your dragged into what ever screaming hell is reserved for uninspired hacks like you, the devils make you watch your film...run backwards...in swedish...for eternity!
In Swedish!
Bwahahahahaha!!!
Ah...that felt good!

[Brother Ragnarok]

Impressive.  You, sir, may write me hate mail any day.

Brother R

There are only two important things in life - monsters and hot chicks.
   - Rob Zombie