Children of the Living Dead

[TC]

I sat down to watch this hoping for some cheesy fun, but I had no idea what I was in store for.   It's no surprise that notorious hacks John Russo and Bill Hinzman were behind this flick and I'm sure many people remember the joke of a 30th edition of NOTLD they put out, with new scenes and synthasizer soundtrack added.  Well, they are behind this turkey as well, as this is on an Ed Wood level of bad....I'm not even close to joking.   I don't even know where to start with this one.  Here are some of the highlights (or lowlights depending on your point of view)

The movie is horribly dubbed, like some kind of Japaneese monster movie.  In an early scene, there's a close-up of Tom Savini's face aiming a rifle at a car, and he says "Surprise".  However, his lips don't even move.

For some reason, the early scenes have a blue tint to them.  I don't know if this was a mistake or if it was some kind of attempt at atmosphere.

It isn't even explained until the very end where the zombies came from, and the same explanation as NOTLD is used.  Whatever.  

Tom Savini, the coolest and most interesting character is killed 15 minutes in.  Tom Savini must have owed someone some big favors to even agree to be involved with this.

Early on, Savini's character remarks that some missing children are safe because, "Zombies don't take to kids".  Well why the hell not???  If this is a "sequel" to NOTLD like they hint at, then why did the little girl in NOTLD turn into a zombie?  This makes no sense, has no purpose to the plot, and is never explained.  

The movie skips around with no continuity.  First we start off the movie in some fields with people shooting zombies.  Then we skip to 14 years later and some new characters.  These characters are killed and the movie skips again to one year later.  None of this makes any sense and there's nothing that pieces these sequences together.

14 years is apparently long enough for people to forget about how their town was savagely attacked by zombies since no-one brings it up or discusses it.  Also, our super-zombie villain Abbott Hayes just kind of lay dormant for 14 years until he decided to exact revenge on our teen-gang for p**sing on his Mom's grave on their way to a concert.  

The super-zombie villain Abbott Hayes wears a mask that looks like it came out of an episode of Goosebumps.  In the single most unintentionally hilarious moments ever caught in a movie,  he manages to scare a van full of kids off the road and they drive into a raveen.  First of all, the walk Abbott does reminds me of how a pimp character from a 70s blaxploitation movie.  He kind of does this moon-walking, strut that cracks me up everytime I watch it.  Next, the van of kids takes about 3 seconds to drive off the road and into the raveen, even though it's clear that they are in a wooded area.  The best thing I can compare it to is the old sketches of Toonces the Driving Cat from SNL where he would drive the car off the road.

In the finale fight-scene, the secluded diner where the zombies are gathered outside to attack our heros is clearly off a main road or highway, since several cars are seen in the background driving by.

There's lots more things that could be pointed out, most obviously the awful script and acting.  My description really doesn't do it justice.  And to think I knocked Romero for making Bruiser.  Compared to this, Romero is golden.

[Drezzy]

You made me remember this piece of utter s**t. YOU MUST PAY FOR THIS!

[Lancer]

Tom Savini from what I understand is a FX wiz that was with Romero's Dawn of the Dead and (but I could be wrong) several Friday the 13th movies... I do know that he is in several cheesy movies (One that I do own is a cheesy Jack the Ripper movie I got on VHS for 10 dollars several years back... Sorry the name doesent ring a bell, but I do know that the movie suck dog s**t!!! And I still have it somewhere in the basement, too)

Ok, I think the movie is called "Night of the Ripper"

I cannot think of any movie worse then Night of the Ripper...

[TC]

No...Believe me, I've seen the Jack the Ripper flick that you are talking about and this is much much much worse.  That movie appears competant compared to Children of the Living Dead.   I always thought I could never get into film production because I thought it was an intricate process done by creative professionals.  However, Children of the Living Dead looks like some complete moron got behind a computer, came up with a script in about a half-hour, and then they financed the movie with money from bottle deposits.

[nshumate]

You're not far wrong.

Check out what the director had to say about the production:
http://www.homepageofthedead.com/baps/cotld_email.html

[TC]

I'm not too surprised what he says about Karen Lee Wolf.  I had a feeling that the woman must have some kind of ego when I watched the end credits of the movie and saw her credits....She played the role of Marilyn Michaels (who I don't even remember, I'll have to watch it again) and also credited with the screenplay, being the second unit director, and also a credit for (I wish I was making this up) "Abbott Hayes is Based on an Original Character Created by Karen Lee Wolf"  What the hell?  Shouldn't the fact that she is credited with the screenplay make that fact kinda obvious?   From Tor Ramsey's letter, it's obvious this woman should never ever make a movie again.  From reading that letter, I feel really bad for Ramsey.  

Oh, and John Russo is a hack.  No surprise there.  I can't believe this guy has actually published books on movie-making.  If you want to play a fun drinking game, watch the end credits for this movie and take a drink everytime you see someone with the last name "Hinzman".  Trust me, you'll be blasted by the time it's done.

[Lancer]

Nathan Shumate, thanks for posting that story...

Wow!!! If there is a movie to be made this would be a winner...

I would call it... "How to Destroy a Movie" or "The Producer’s Daughter"

[Chadzilla]

I'll pray for this poor, poor man (of course this HIS side of the story, but I have an easy time swallowing it - the song and dance is painfully familiar) - no one should have to suffer for this kind of garbage.

John Russo acts like he believes what John McCarthy erroneously argued in his interesting, albeit highly flawed, book Splatter Movies - that Russo was the better writer on the NotLD screenplay team...uh, no...he wasn't.  He wrote one or two decent books that I have read, the Night novelization and a vampire novel called The Awakening - the others are garage sale fodder that include Return of the Living Dead (a sequel that Dan O'Bannon completely reinvented when making into a major motion picture), The Majorettes, Midnight (both turned out to be novelizations of scripts Russo was shopping around), Limb to Limb, Day Care, Voodoo Dawn, Inhuman (a NotLD clone so callously plagaristic I could not believe that Russo had the balls to publish it as an 'original' idea) and one or two others I hopefully have forgotten.  Russo's movies are cheap skidmarks on the face of cinema - The Majorettes, Midnight, Satan Claws, Dirty Books, etc.  ick.  The man works more than Romero does, truly that is a crime against humanity of some sorty!

Mr. Ramsey's tale of complete and utter filmmaking horror is reason #1 why I choose to stick with writing short stories and novels instead of scripts.  That woman sounds like the spawn of Satan herself, although I doubt she'll go much farther than that movie.  Nonetheless the damage is done.

[TC]

One thing, I was surprised to hear that she thinks that zombie movie fans are stupid, ect.  I didn't realize this at first, but she was one of the producers on the 1968 NOTLD as well.  So everyone from that movie except Romero was involved on this one....I think that proves who was the most talented of the bunch.

[Chadzilla]

I think it's pretty clear, friend.  At least Romero doesn't hold his fans in complete and utter contempt, he knows and appreciates who butters his bread.  One reason why he's so passionate about keeping the gore in the Dead series.  He knows that is part and parcel of what the fans want, so he doesn't compromise too much.

Nonetheless, the Siren Song of Crap is a seductive call, so I'm going to psyche myself up for a viewing of the 30th Anniversary destruction of Notld and CotLD as well.  I might be an idiot, but I know sh*t when I step in it!  :-D

I hear that the woman who played the zombie girl in the basement in the original is pretty embarrassed by being in NotLD as well.  Doesn't stop her from making convention appearances though, bet she signs autographs as well.  Grrrr.